Shattered
by Lackluster Brilliance
Summary: Chloe did what she swore she'd never do. She broke Beca's heart, and though it hurts, Beca can never stop loving Chloe. Bechloe angst. Trigger warnings: Rape, self harm, suicide, and alcohol abuse.
1. The letter

**Greetings Mortals, I have returned, now cue the applause. Thank you thank you. So, we all know I hate happy endings, and when I hear a song where everyone ends up sad, I just have to write something. So, yeah. I heard Gavin Degraw's song ****_Not Over You_**** on the radio, and come on guys. Does this scream Bechloe break up, or what? And I know I said that I wouldn't do Bechloe, but I just had to, so Bechloe fans, enjoy.**

**Warning, this is REALLY angsty. I actually almost cried writing this, so if this ain't your cup of tea, then please don't read this. I haven't ever recieved a word of hate, and I don't want this to be the start.**

**I'm done now, and obviously I own nothing. It sucks, but its true, and I say this so you can't sue!**

* * *

_Dreams, that's where I have to go  
To see your beautiful face anymore  
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio  
Hope, hope there's a conversation  
We both admit we had it good  
But until then it's alienation, I know  
That much is understood  
And I realize_

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
_I would say I'm doing just fine_  
_I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_  
_But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_  
_And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_  
_No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you_

_Damn, damn girl, you do it well_  
_And I thought you were innocent_  
_Took this heart and put it through hell_  
_But still you're magnificent_  
_I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me_  
_I turn around and I'm back in the game_  
_Even better than the old me_  
_But I'm not even close without you_

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
_I would say I'm doing just fine_  
_I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_  
_But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_  
_And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_  
_No matter what I say I'm not over you_

_And if I had the chance to renew_  
_You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do_  
_I could get back on the right track_  
_But only if you'd be convinced_  
_So until then..._

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
_I would say I'm doing just fine_  
_I would lie and say that you're not on my mind_  
_But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two_  
_And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_  
_No matter what I say I'm not over you_  
_Not over you_  
_Not over you_  
**Not over you**

* * *

Do you remember all of the promises that you made me? All of those things you swore to me when we first started dating? You promised me that you'd be there for me everyday. You pinky promised that you'd never break my heart, and that I'd never be alone ever again. Above all, you swore to me that you would never ever leave me, no matter what happened. I should have know that you were lying.

Anymore, the only time I can see you is in my dreams. You plague my thoughts every fucking night, always so close, so sweet, so perfect, until I wake up and find that you aren't there anymore. You're off with Aubrey, living the life you wanted, but could never ever have with me.

Everyday, I just sit at my desk, staring at the picture of you. You know, the one of you where you were standing at the cliffs with the sunset behind you. You looked so carefree, so beautiful, that it fucking hurts me every time I see it. Fuck me, but every day I torture myself staring at you perfect face and wonder what I did wrong, what I could have done, should have done, to keep you with me. I hope that you know that if you asked it of me, I would do it. I would change everything in a moment just to be with you again.

Yesterday, I ran into Jesse. He asked me how I was, and I just plastered a smile on my face and said I was fine. He was fooled, but I know that you would have seen right through it. You knew me so well, that even without saying anything, you always immediately knew what I needed. You have to admit, it, we both had it pretty good while we were together. I did every fucking thing you asked of me, and you were always there. I never felt alone or isolated as I use to when I was with you. Now, I feel even more alienated and alone then ever before.

Its funny, Jesse asked if I was still hung up on you, and I just turned to sarcasm, and pretended like I barely even remembered us. But that was perhaps the biggest lie I've ever told. God, I think about you when I'm alone, and dream about you every night. I would kill for us to be an us again. I'm so not over you, that if you gave me once chance, I'd give it all up.

I haven't mixed a single song since you left, and I would stop drinking if you would just come back. Yeah, you don't know this, because you're in New York with Aubrey and you never answer my calls, but I started drinking to try and numb the pain that you caused when you left. It doesn't work to well, and in order to even get a minute of sleep, I need to drink myself into oblivion. I swear to God though, hell I swear to anything and everything that I have ever held dear, I would give it all up, and I would get back on the right track if you said that you'd take me back. I would do anything if only you could be convinced that we could be together.

You know, the funny thing was, when I first met you, I though you were innocent. I thought that you were this happy, care free woman, without a single trouble in the world. I thought that I had finally found the one who'd never hurt me, because I just thought that you COULDN'T hurt me. That you were too beautiful, innocent, perfect person, to ever even consider hurting anyone. But damn, I have to say, you sure know how to completely destroy a girl's heart. You fucking left me on our 2 year anniversary, so that you could be with Aubrey and go to New York. You used every single fucking one of my insecurities and fears against me. You shattered me, I hope you know. I broke ever single fucking mirror in the house the day you left. To this day, I still can't even bare to look in the mirror. I hate everything that I see, and ever single lie that you told me, every time you said that you cared, though my freckles were cute, or the scar on my forehead was sexy, it all comes crashing down on me. Fuck, I can barely even drive anymore.

I was going to propose to you that night, to, you know. I'd spent ten days standing in front of a mirror trying to find the perfect words. I said them over and over again, changing it every time I said them, until I finally found the perfect words. Now though, it fucking kills me to even think about that. To think that words so pure and true at the time are now lies and reminders that i wasn't good enough. I even got my mom's ring for you. I went to my dad, and we actually finally have a civil conversation. He was so excited to meet you, by the way. You almost finally fixed things between me and him, but now, I've shut him back out, just like I've shut everyone else out.

The funny thing is though, you put my heart through fucking hell, but still, I love you. More then anything else in the world. I'll never leave you, and I wait for you until the day I stop breathing, I hope you know. You can throw me and my love for you any where, any way you want, and I'll always come back to you. I'll come back even better then the last time, but I can never be as good as I was as when I was with you. Remember what you use to tell me? Alone, we're alright, but together, we're perfect. We make each other better. Do you say that to Aubrey now?Does Aubrey make you better? I don't even have to ask if you make Aubrey better. Chloe, you're perfect, and any person's life that you touch, you make infinitely better. Like mine. Chloe, you made me so much better, but now that you're gone, I'm in this fucking black hole.

But Chloe, baby please, just give me one chance. One chance to show you that I can be better. That I am your soul mate. You said it yourself. You and I were meant to be. We still are baby, and if you just gave me the chance, I could show you. I know that you're favorite color is neon pink, and that you love Disney movies more then you love singing. I know that you cry every time you watch The Lion king, and that you're afraid of chickens because when you were little, one pecked you, and you've been traumatized ever since. I know that you have three different thinking faces, and I can immediately recognize each one. Like the one where you're thinking of your next 'project'. Your eye's get a bit unfocused, and you have this tiny dreamy smile. Or the one where you;re thinking about something that scares you. You're eyes get a bit glassy, and you bit your lower lip. Every now and then, you'll jump a bit, because you'll scare yourself thinking of all the bad things that could happen. And then my favorite face. The one you get when you're thinking about something you love. You're eye open up really big, and you just don this megawatt smile that I swear could light up a black hole. Baby, I could go on and on about this, but what's the point?

You love Aubrey now, not me. Did you ever love me Chloe? Baby please, just text me, Skype me, send me a letter, anything, and just answer that one question. Chloe, did you ever love me, or was I just some college fling to occupy your time? Please, if you have any feelings at all left for me, just answer that one question. I loved you with everything I had, and its killing me to think that I was a fool and fell for someone that never even loved me.

Chloe baby, this will be the last letter I send you. I can't keep doing this any more. So, this is my final farewell to you. Please baby, I'm begging you on my hands and knees. Just come back. Baby please, I'd say that this is killing me, but it can't be because I'm already dead inside. I'm a corpse walking at this point, and I'm done. Baby, I'm not over you, I never will be, and I will always love you. Please come back Chloe, before I forget what its like to be alive, to be loved. Baby, I'm not over you, and though you might be over me, I just can't move on. I've tried so fucking hard to, believe me, but I can't. Baby, I love you, and I always will. Please, if you remember nothing else, remember that.

As always, with all my love,

Beca Mitchell


	2. Its for the best

**God dammit mortals, Why'd you all have to ask for Chloe's reaction, why? Now I feel like I have to write this, so hooray for you, y'all got your wish. Now, this is a two shot, and WILL NOT BE ANYTHING ELSE!**

**Unless of course you all want this to be a full fledged fic. Then, y'all better have a REALLY good reason as to why I should continue this. If I can get 10 people to review, and say that i should, I'll turn this into a full fic, okay?**

**Now I'm done now, so I own nothing, it sucks but its true, and I say this, so you can't sue!**

* * *

Chloe Beale sat in her apartment crying. Beside her sat Beca's last letter and a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

Sobbing, Chloe picked up Beca's letter and reread it once again. Did Beca really believe that she never loved her? How could she? Chloe loved Beca with everything she had, she still did. The past year had been pure torture for her. Breaking Beca's heart was the last thing she ever wanted to do, and right now, it was taking everything in her power to not pick up her phone and beg Beca to come back.

"No, I can't" Chloe whispered to herself. "It was for the best."

How could she be so selfish to even consider this? She couldn't make Beca have to deal with her problems. Beca may have been hurting right now, but she'd move on. Maybe not now, or maybe not even in the nest year, but eventually, Beca would move on. It was for the best. It had to be.

As though Heaven decided that she needed a reminder as to why she had to leave, Chloe could hear a baby, HER baby, start to cry.

Yeah, Chloe Beale had a new born baby to take care now. Crazy, right?

Getting up, Chloe walked over to Baylie's crib, and fed her. Rocking Baylie back and forth in an attempt to try and get her to fall back asleep, Chloe looked at the crying child before her.

"Hey Baylie," Chloe slurred slightly "Your crying again. Why though. Its not like you have anything to cry about. You don't know fucking know the meaning of the word hurt.

Chloe put Baylie back down then,as she fell into a gentle slumber, Chloe broke out into gut wrenching sobs. With trembling hands, Chloe picked up the bottle of whiskey again and too a big swig.

This was her life now. Fucking crying all the time and drinking the other half. Its funny, just a year ago, Chloe had the perfect life. She had a the most amazing girlfriend of two years, who she had hoped to marry soon, a loving supportive family, and a promising future. Now, Chloe had nothing. She shattered the heart of who she believed to be her soul mate, she had no future, and if it weren't for Aubrey, Baylie and Chloe both would have been on the streets. To top it all off, the beautiful baby Chloe had sleeping next to her was the product of her greatest shame...

"Chlo! I'm home!" Chloe heard Aubrey call, as she walked into the apartment they shared.

"Oh hey Bree." Chloe said, hurriedly wiping away her tears. "How was your day?"

"It was good" Aubrey said happily, walking into the room, however, noticing the sate Chloe was in, the opened letter, and the half empty bottle of whiskey on the table, her demeanor suddenly changed.

"Chloe." Aubrey said, her voice hard, "You seriously need to stop drinking."

"Sorry Bree." Chloe said.

Snatching the bottle away, Aubrey sat down next to Chloe.

"Chloe, I know this is hard, but you need to move on, if not for yourself, then for little Baylie over there." Aubrey said gently. "Chloe, you chose to have her, and now you need to step up and raise her. I know that you didn't ask for any of this, but please, Chloe, for me, for that beautiful baby over there, please."

"I can't Bree" Chloe rasped out. "Bree, every time I even look at Baylie, it just reminds me of HIM. It reminds me of everything that happened."

"Chlo, I know that what happened hurt, but you cant change the past." AUbrey said, her heart breaking at the state Chloe was in. "You just have to move on. Don't let him win Chloe, please! I miss my best friend. Baylie needs a mom, and you need to heal."

"I CAN'T THOUGH!" Chloe roared now, angry that AUbrey couldn't get this, that Aubrey didn't understand. "I WAS FUCKING RAPED, OKAY? AND NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS, WITHOUT ANYONE! YOU FUCKING DON'T GET IT!"

"Chloe!" Aubrey said fiercely. "You are not alone. I'm here, and I always will be. I can't believe that Beca abandoned you over this, but I won't, okay. I'm with you. Your parents are with you. Chloe, you're not alone, and you never will be!"

Instead of saying anything, Chloe just broke down in Aubrey's arms. Deep, gut wrenching sobs ripped through her body.

"Shh." Aubrey whispered, doing her best to not break down herself. "I got you Chlo. I got you."

For an indeterminable amount of time, Chloe just sat there, as Aubrey did her best to calm her down. Finally, as her sobs died down, Aubrey spoke again.

"Chloe, I know that this hurts. I can never understand what you're going through, but I do know that this hurts."

"Thank you Bree, for everything. " Chloe hiccuped. "You don't have to be here, and I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."

"Its okay," Aubrey said, smiling a bit. "I get it, sort of. Just please, if you really are sorry, stop drinking okay? Its really bad for you, and its also really bad for that beautiful little baby out there. I know that she was conceived out of something horrible, but that's not her fault. Chloe, you need to be a mother right now."

"I know..." Chloe said, "Its just hard you know? This is never how I imagined this to be. I thought that it would be me and Beca, having kids someday. Not this."

Upon hearing Beca's name, Aubrey's eyes flashed angrily.

"Don't fucking think about that god dam hobbit" Aubrey growled. "She fucking abandoned you when you needed her most. She ran when she shouldn't have, and she a God damn coward. Chloe, you deserve so much better."

"I just miss her." Chloe said helplessly.

Aubrey didn't know the whole truth as to why she was here, and Chloe couldn't tell her either. It was far too likely that Aubrey would tell someone, or make Chloe tell Beca the truth, and that just couldn't happen.

"Well don't." Aubrey said, "She's not worth your time. I still don't know why you like that freaking hobbit so much."

"Because she was beautiful, talented, and just amazing" Chloe said, smiling a bit as she thought of her now ex-girlfriend.

"She was a royal pain in my ass, she wore too much eyeliner, and had a horrible attitude." Aubrey deadpanned.

Chloe sighed, knowing that it was impossible to argue with her friend.

"Why can't you be gay?" Chloe whined. "That would make everything so much easier."

"Sorry Chloe," Aubrey smirked. "I was raised in an extremely devote house, and honestly, I just don't go that way. AT ALL."

"I know." Chloe huffed, feeling a bit better. "But I am glad that your my friend at least."

"You better be" Aubrey said with a cocky wink. "I'm the best there ever was!"

"Yeah, yeah you are." Chloe said, giggling a bit at the blonde's antics.

"Damn straight." Aubrey said. "Now, you and I are going to go out tonight. No excuses. I called your mom already, and she said that she could watch Baylie, so, Get up, get a shower, because honestly, you reek, and let's go! Tonight, me and you are going to have a Girls night out."

Chloe sighed, though secretly, she was glad that Aubrey was so adamant to make her better. She really didn't want to go out tonight, but then again, she never wanted to go out anymore. Maybe Aubrey was right though. Maybe going out would be good for her.

"Fiiiiiiiine" Chloe huffed "But you better be taking me somewhere nice Posen."

"No worries!" Aubrey said, happy that Chloe had agreed to go. "I promise that it'll be aca-awesome."

"Alright Bree." Chloe said "But you need to get cleaned up too. You smell like a law firm."

"What even Chlo?" Aubrey said, "But whatever. I'll hop in the shower, while you clean up, and then you go get cleaned up. Okay?"

"Kay." Chloe said.

With that said, Aubrey walked out of the room, leaving Chloe alone. When Chloe heard the shower turn on, she sighed. Cleaning up the coffee table that held a number of empty alcohol bottles, Chloe's eyes fell upon Beca's letter once again.

What was she suppose to do? She hated that Beca was feeling so bad, and was so hurt right now, but this was what other choice did she have? She was doing the right thing now. She needed to stop feeling so shitty, and remember that this was for the best. But why was it hurting so fucking much?

With a sigh, Chloe took another long drink from the bottle, before she threw it away. Fucking hell, why did doing the right thing have to hurt so god damn much?

Chloe looked at Beca's letter again, before she finally threw it away, just as she had with every other letter. She wanted to keep them so badly, but she knew that if she did, she'd eventually be too tempted to write Beca back, and then, everything would go to hell.

Looking at the crumpled up piece of paper in the trash can once more, Chloe finally shut the lid and then walked to the bathroom. This was all for the best.


	3. When I was your girl

**Dammit Mortals, fuck me, but this is going to be a full fledged fic now. Aca-fuck me. Y'all can thank cxcxcx386 for this BTW. Her and her damn reviews always make me feel like I should continue. Warning though, this fic isn't my priority. I'm writing another fic, a Mitchsen (For the Love of a Daughter), and I want that one done, so there may be large gaps of time between updates. Reviews are always a good way to get my ass into gear though. All of you're last reviews made me want to continue this piece of shit, so yeah. **

**Second thing. In two days guys, I'm going to have to change the rating on this to M. I also might change the title, but I'll tell you if I decide to do that. Guys, this is going to be really dark, and rape, self harm, and shit like that are going to be prevalent. These things will also be written out in excruciating detail, so if this is going to be bad for you, I beg of you, don't read this!I love all of my readers, and I don't want anyone to get too upset reading this. **

**This isn't Betaed either, so all mistakes are my own. I'm done now.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this, so you can't sue!**

* * *

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_  
_ Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_  
_ When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down_  
_ 'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name_

_ It all just sounds like oooooh…_  
_ Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_  
_ That I should've bought you flowers_  
_ And held your hand_  
_ Should've gave you all my hours_  
_ When I had the chance_  
_ Take you to every party_  
_ 'Cause all you wanted to do was dance_  
_ Now my baby's dancing_  
_ But she's dancing with another man_

_ My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways_  
_ Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life_  
_ Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…_  
_ And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

_ It all just sounds like oooooh…_  
_ Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_  
_ That I should've bought you flowers_  
_ And held your hand_  
_ Should've gave you all my hours_  
_ When I had the chance_  
_ Take you to every party_  
_ 'Cause all you wanted to do was dance_  
_ Now my baby's dancing_  
_ But she's dancing with another man_

_ Although it hurts_  
_ I'll be the first to say that I was wrong_  
_ Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_  
_ To try and apologize for my mistakes_  
_ But I just want you to know_

_ I hope he buys you flowers_  
_ I hope he holds your hand_  
_ Give you all his hours_  
_ When he has the chance_  
_ Take you to every party_  
_ 'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance_  
_ Do all the things I should have done_  
_ When I was your girl_  
_ Do all the things I should have done_  
**_ When I was your girl_**

* * *

Beca sat in her dorm room staring at her favorite picture Chloe. Chloe hadn't known that Beca had a camera, and she was sitting at their spot in the library. Yeah they had a spot in the Library. Chloe had a way of bringing out Beca's inner romantic. Anyway, Beca snuck up on her, and surprised her. Chloe looked up just as Beca snapped the picture, and the look of surprise, happiness, and just general Chloeness in the picture...It was just beautiful.

"Chloe... Why did you have to leave?" Beca whispered into the empty room.

Why the hell did Chloe leave? They were happy together, at least so Beca thought. Chloe brought out the best of Beca. When Beca was with Chloe, all of her normal insecurities and walls were gone, and in the pace of Beca's usual snarky, guarded, bitchy self, a relaxed, happy, goofy person would emerge. Beca had no fears around Chloe.

But what about Chloe? Was Chloe any different when she was just with Beca? To be honest, Beca really didn't know. Chloe always told her that together they were both better off, but were they really? Beca _knew _that she wasn't worth Chloe's love, and that Chloe could always have done better, but whenever Beca ever even hinted at this, Chloe would get really mad and tell Beca that she did love her, and that they were meant to be together. That Beca was worth everything, and that they would be together forever.

_Obviously not though_ Beca though bleakly. Obviously, Beca wasn't good enough. Obviously, Beca was right to have all of her walls, her insecurities, and hate what she saw in the mirror everyday. After all, the one person Beca thought that just maybe she could trust. The one person that Beca actually felt comfortable just being her around. The one person that Beca _loved _was able to fling everything she ever gave her back int her face in a moments notice. Obviously Beca didn't mean as much to Chloe as she thought.

Chloe barreled through all of Beca's walls and made herself a permanent place in Beca's heart. She got Beca comfortable, content, and then she shattered Beca's confidence, and destroyed Beca's dreams of happiness in a second. With two words, Chloe fucked Beca up worse then she had ever been and left Beca to try and pick up all of the tiny pieces of her heart.

"FUCK!" Beca screamed as she flung the picture away from her. The picture hit the wall and the glass shattered.

_Just like me_ Beca thought. as she picked up the half empty bottle of whiskey next to her.

Just like her indeed. She was completely shattered, emotionally, mentally, and even physically. She hadn't eaten anything in the past three days. She just couldn't. Though it had been a year since Chloe left, Beca was still broken. The wound on her heart was still fresh, even after all this time. Chloe had burrowed her way into Beca's heart, and now, she tore that away, leaving Beca's heart, and now consequently so too was her life. She just didn't see the reason in living anymore. Her whole existence had been based upon Chloe, and now. Now, Chloe was gone.

Taking a long pull from the bottle, Beca's eyes drifted over to the broken glass that littered the floor. There was one fairly large shard, still in the picture frame. The edge was jagged and sharp. Sharp enough to pierce the skin, and let Beca's blood flow out. Let all of Beca's heartache flow out. Let Beca forget all the pain, and never have to deal with this anymore.

But was it worth it? Was Chloe leaving really worth ending it all? Sure Chloe was here everything, her rock, her fucking soul mate. Yeah, it wasn't just about Chloe leaving, it was the piece of Beca's heart, her _soul_ that she too with her.

"One last letter." Beca whispered to the empty room.

Picking up a pen and grabbing a piece of paper, Beca began to write.

_Dear Chloe,_

_Chloe, by the time you read this, I'll be gone. Chloe, I can't take this anymore. I love you so damn much, that even thinking about you sends sharp spikes of pain through my heart. I know this sounds dramatic, but its true baby. Chloe, I loved you, I still love you, with everything I have, I still believe that we are soul mates. Chlo, when you left, you took my heart, my soul, my everything with you. Chloe, I was serious when I told you that you were my world. Now that your gone though, I just can't see the point of getting up in the mornings. I barely eat any more and instead just down all of my sorrows with alcohol. I almost never leave my room, and I can't even listen to music anymore. It reminds me too much of you. Baby, this is me saying goodbye now. _

_I don't blame you for anything though. God knows that I tried. I tried so hard to be mad at you, to hate you, to make you the bad guy, but I just can't. I just fucking can't. I love you too much to ever feel anything but love for you. Chloe forever to me, no matter what you say, what you do, you will always be the beautiful, caring, free soul that I met at the activities fair my freshman you. You will forever be the bubbly redhead with no concept of boundaries who burst into my shower to get me to auditions for your a capella group. Chloe, you will never be anything but perfection to me in my eyes. Though, those will be closing soon forever soon enough.  
_

_Chloe baby, I want you to know that I only wish the best to you. I hope that you and Aubrey are happy in New York together. Chloe, I want you to live a happy, fulfilling life. My greatest regret will forever be that I held you back from the life that you deserved. I think that Aubrey will be able to make you happy though. She's smart, and she protects what she cares about._

_Chloe, live your life to the fullest, and never ever let anything ever dull you light. That was what drew me to you. Like a moth to a light, I was drawn to your light. You always had this way about you, the way that you could light up the darkest room with just a smile. Hell, your smile was bright enough to light up the dark pit that was my soul, until you that you're gone though, I'm back down, even deeper in that pit, but that's not the point. Baby, let this be my dying wish that you live the life that you deserve._

_ Aubrey, if you're reading this, don't let Chloe go, alright? Keep her happy, and use everyday to show her how much you love her. Do all the things I should have done when I was with her. Please. I know that you and I were never close, and that we never really saw eye to eye about anything, but you have to do this. Take her to every party, take her out to sing, to dance, to live life and be happy. Bring her flowers when you come home from work. Tiger lilies were her favorite. If that's changed tough, bring her whatever flower she likes best. Devote every second that you can to her. You can't possibly know how amazing she is until she leaves. Even to you Aubrey, I hope that you never have to experience something like that.  
_

_Chloe, I love you, and no matter what happens to my soul, if I even have a soul, I will always love you with all my heart and soul. Without you though, I can't just carry on. Everyday has been a battle for me, and honestly, I'm tired. I can't fight any more, I can't be angry with myself anymore. I can't feel this complete hollowness anymore. Baby, please, don't be mad at me. I know that you believe in heaven, God, and all that shit, but I don't. Anyway, hell would be preferable to this. Chloe baby, my love, my soul mate, my everything, I'm done now. Maybe with death I can finally find peace._

_With all my love,_

_Beca_

Placing the letter on her desk, so that her father could mail it afterwards, Beca went over to the shard of glass. Picking it up, she cut a rough, deep vertical line through her one wrist. Gritting her teeth through the pain, Beca picked up the shard of glass once again and repeated this process on the other wrist. From each cut, a crimson river flowed out, slowly but surly letting all of Beca's pain out. As blackness began to engulf her mind, Beca managed for from one last coherent thought.

_I love you Chloe._

* * *

Chloe Beale sat in the apartment, staring at a picture of Beca. For some reason, today, when she woke up, she a this weird feeling, like something bad was going to happen. So far, nothing had happened, but she felt like an ominous cloud had been hanging over her head all day. All day she'd had the urge to just call Beca and confess everything. But then where would that put her?

The past year would have been all for naught, and she'd be dragging Beca into her problems. No, she left because she loved Beca. Beca deserved to live a happy life, and to fall in love with someone who would never ever leaver her.

Chloe felt a pang in her chest when she thought of Beca with some one else. Some girl that wasn't her. Beca holding some other girl's hand. Beca making some other girl mixes and staying up late just to see them home from work. Beca kissing someone else...

With a sigh, Chloe picked up the bottle of whiskey next to her and took another long drink.


	4. The things we hide

**Greetings mortals, I have returned. So I have to say, the response that I've gotten to this fic have been AMAZING. Guys, you're all incredible, and I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for you. Already there are 18 reviews, 11 faves, more then 1500 views, and 21 follows. Guys, I can't thank you all enough. And because I've gotten such a massive response to this, I'm writing even more. FUCK IT! This was suppose to be a one-shot! A fucking one-shot See what you mortals do to me? **

**As usual guy, this chapter isn't pretty. None of them will be, probably. Beca's body (alive or dead, you'll just have to see) is going to be found, and I nearly cried writing this, so yeah. use discretion guys!  
**

**Side note, guy's I ain't no psychiatrist. I don't know what the hell I'm saying. All I know comes from webMD, so if there is any incongruities, or just blatantly wrong things, I'm sorry. PM me, leave a review and tell me, and I'll do my best to fix it.**

**As always, I own nothing. It sucks but its true, and I say this, so you can't sue!**

* * *

Warren Mitchell would be the first to tell you that he wasn't the best father. He wasn't the most caring or understanding of people, and that showed in his parenting style, or there lack of. When Beca was 12, he left her and her mother alone, to go off with another woman and never looked back. For 6 years, he never even attempted contact with his daughter, and only sent the child support checks and the occasional Christmas or birthday gift. He cared little for his family, and instead preferred to focus on his work.

However, when Beca turned 18, he finally decided to try and have a relationship with her. Which he attempted to do by forcing her to go to college. Not exactly his best idea, but none the less, after 4 years, it had worked. Sort of. The first year was rough, as expected. She barely tolerated him, and any time he said anything more then hello, she would snap at him and end up yelling at him and blaming him for everything that he had done. Which, in all fairness, he deserved, Yes he did leave, yes he did completely forget about his daughter, and yes, he was a pompous, academia, asshole with no love for anything that wasn't a book. Well, he would disagree with that last statement, but he could admit that he was definitely... dedicated to his work. None the less though, for the first year, Beca had nothing for contempt for the man, and it showed in her behavior and words.

However, after Beca had started dating Chloe, it was like a switch had been flipped in his daughter. Sure she still was snarky and distrustful around him, that was to be expected. He had most certainly earned every bit of contempt and hate that Beca had for him. However, even after only a month together, Warren could see that Beca was a little less guarded, a little less angry, and maybe, dare he say it, actually happy?

When Beca was with Chloe, he was actually able to carry a conversation with him, and she stopped question him when he said I love you. She even came to him for help and advice every now and then! When finals would come up, she would go over to his house, and he would help her study. He never told her how much he loved those times, but he did. He really truly did.

But now. Now that Chloe was gone? It was as though every ounce of happiness, joy, and hope had been completely drained out of his daughter. Though it had been more then a year now, Beca was still as bad as she had been the day Chloe left, perhaps even worse. She was drinking heavily, barley eating, and cried herself to sleep every night.

To be honest, Warren was extremely worried. It was no secret that when Beca was younger, she'd used a razor blade on many an occasion to try and ease the pain she felt, and to quiet the voices in her head. Her arms and legs told the story of every insecurity, fear, and bit of self hate she had, with thick bands of jagged lines. After she had met Chloe though, this had stopped completely within the first week.

When Chloe left though, this had started up once again. Now, to accompany the dark red lines, round burn marks, and bruises could be seen. Every day, new marks would appear, and Beca was to far gone, to far lost to even care about hiding the scars. This was extremely troubling to Warren, though he had no idea what to do. he tried talking, begging, and screaming at her, but never once did she even seem to even acknowledge his presence. He tried to make her go to counseling, but she never said a word to them. Every day, she slipped further and further into the pit that she was in, and all he could do was watch helplessly as his little girl broke in front of his very eyes.

Now, he was at a complete loss as to what to do. To be perfectly honest, he was petrified that one day he would go up to her room and find her wrists slashed, and her lifeless body slumped in a pool of her own blood. He prayed to God everyday that this wouldn't happen.

Unfortunately, it seems like God wasn't listening today.

"BECA!" Warren screamed as his eyes took in the scene before him.

There, in front of his very eyes was his baby girl, wrists slashed, and blood seeping out of those horrible, awful cuts. Already, there was a lot of blood on the carpet, and as each second ticked by, the stain beneath Beca's limp form grew.

Grabbing the first shirt he could from off the ground, Warren dashed over to Beca's body, and wrapped it around her wrist, doing his best to try and stem the crimson tide.

"Beca baby, please don't do this to me." Warren pleaded, as tears clouded his vision.

After securing the shirt around Beca's wrists the best as he could, he pulled out his phone, and with trembling fingers, he dialed the three digits to call for help.

"911, what's you emergency?"

"Yes, please, send help" Warren choked out, as he tried to keep pressure on the two wounds.

"What kind of aide do you need, and what is the nature of your emergency?" The woman on the other end asked.

"Please, send help!" Warren choked out again. "My daughter tried to commit suicide, and she's already lost a lot of blood."

"Help is on the way sir." The woman said, doing her best to try and calm Warren. "What is your address?"

"3904 Fairway Lane, Atlanta." Warren said, trying his best to try and calm himself down.

"Excellent, help will be there soon" The woman reassured him. "Now Sir, I need you to stay on this phone with me, and tell me somethings, okay?"

"Sure, whatever, just please, send help!" Warren cried.

"Helps already on the way sir." The woman said. "now, can you tell me your name, and the name of your daughter?"

"My name is warren, and my daughter's name is Bec-" Trying to say his daughter's name, his baby girl, was too much for him, and now sobs ripped their way through the mans body.

"Stay with me Warren" The woman said. "Now, what was your daughter's name?"

"Be-" Once again, Warren choked on his baby girl's name. He had to do this for her though. Pulling himself together, He managed to croak out Beca's name.

"Very good Warren. Now, are you keeping pressure on the lacerations?"

"Yeah." Warren said, eyes traveling over to the pale form of his daughter.

Beca had always been pale, but now, with so much blood lost, she was white as a sheet, and her breathing was very slow and shallow. Right before his eyes, Beca's life was slipping away.

"There the hell is this damn ambulances" Warren roared, anger and panic now overtaking his fear and hurt.

"Calm down sir, please" The woman said, completely unaffected by Warren's outburst. "Now, do you know Beca's blood type?"

"AB-" Warren said, "Please, tell them to hurry!"

"They're on their way." The woman said. "Now, does Beca take any medications? Is she allergic to anything or have any pre-existing conditions?

"She's not allergic to anything," Warren said, desperate to hear the wail of the ambulance sirens. "She's on a couple of anti-depression medications though."

"Alright, which ones?"

"umm..." here, Warren had to think a bit, What were the names of those medications...

"Cymbalta!" Warren shouted as the names came to him "and... um... Paxil! The other one is... um... Zoloft."

"Alright." the woman said, "Now stay with me Warren, can you check her pulse for me?"

"Its faint." Warren said, worried. "Its very faint, and pretty slow."

"Okay, Warren, just keep pressure on the wounds until help arrives? Alright?"

"I AM!" Warren roared. "JUST GET THE DAMN AMBULANCE HERE!"

Finally, in the distance, Warren could hear the wail of the sirens. From below, he could hear the paramedics opening the door and rushing up the stairs.

"In here!" Warren yelled.

As the paramedics rushed in, Warren was pushed out of the room. Around his baby, men quick worked to get her tiny frame onto the stretcher, and to wrap up her wrists. All of this felt too surreal though to Warren. There on the stretcher, was his girl. His beautiful, smart, incredible, baby girl. His _daughter_ for fucks sake! His daughter was _dying _right now, and there wasn't a God damn thing he could do about it. All he could do was pray right now.

As Beca's body was taken down the stairs, Warren took one last look around the room before he left. As usual, Beca's bed was a mess, and on the bed side table was a number of half empty and empty bottles. The desk with her mixing equipment was dusty with disuse, and on the desk. On the desk, there was a letter!

Quickly, Warren went over and snatched up the letter. Quickly reading what very well might be his daughter's last letter, Warren felt his eyes tear up once more.

* * *

In the apartment, Chloe sat, nearly black out drunk. Soon, Aubrey would be home and she would be very angry with Chloe, but at the moment, she couldn't care. Beca ad committed suicide, or at least she had tried to, because of her.

That morning, a letter from Beca's address had arrived. Inside, Chloe found Beca's suicide note and a letter from Warren. Chloe never even read Warren's letter though Half way through Beca's letter, she had gone straight to the nearest state store and purchased three bottles of whiskey and a bottle of vodka Two hours later, the bottles of whiskey were drained and now Chloe sat, sipping from the bottle of vodka, the harsh substance burning tracks down her throat. However, this barely registered to Chloe, as she once again tipped the bottle back and too another searing gulp.

Because of her, the one person Chloe ever loved, was so depressed, so lost, that she believed that death was the only option left. How fucking stupid of her! Why hadn't she picked up on the desperation, the sadness in Beca's last letter? She should have known, should warned some one, should have done something! Now, because of her, Beca was hooked up to a bunch of machines to keep her here. Beca was _dying_ because of her. Because of her, the one that swore to protect Beca and never leave. _Because of her Beca might die._

"FUCK!" Chloe swore as she flung the bottle away from her.

As the bottle hit the wall and shattered, spraying the remainder of its contents over the walls and floor, Baylie woke up and began to cry.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chloe shouted.

Fucking Baylie was why Chloe had to leave. It was all fucking Baylie's fault. If it weren't for her, Chloe could still be with Beca, and they would be together and happy! Now, because of that damn child, Beca was miserable, Chloe was miserable, fucking everyone was miserable. All because Chloe got raped and now she a fucking baby.

"JUST GO AWAY!" Chloe yelled, as Baylie continued to cry. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT YOU BITCH!"

Though the rational part of Chloe knew that it wasn't Baylie's fault, the drunk, angry, hurt, part of her thought that it was. And this part was far louder, and easily drowned out the whispers of logic right now. Walking over to the crib with Baylie in it, Chloe stared down at the baby before her.

Baylie really did take after Chloe, not like whoever her father was at all. She had this tuft of bright red hair and deep cerulean eyes. She even had the same smattering of freckles on her nose, like Chloe. As Chloe walked over, Baylie stopped crying, and with eyes that mirrored her own, she looked up at her mother. Her eyes were full of trust, contentment, happiness... and love.

Breaking down beside the crib, Chloe fell to her knees. What was happening to her? What happened to the happy go lucky girl who believed in miracles and true love? Where did that innocent girl go, and where did this angry, self loathing monster come from?

"Beca, Beca, Beca" Chloe murmured. "Baby I miss you so much."

"Chloe! I'm home!" Aubrey called, as she slammed the door shut. "Chloe?"

Walking into the room, Aubrey was met with the stench of alcohol, broken glass, and a number of empty bottles.

"Shit, Chloe, what did I-" Aubrey trailed off when she noticed that Chloe wasn't even responding to her.

Taking a closer look around the room, Aubrey found bother letters on the table. Quickly scanning over the first letter, Warren's letter, Aubrey had to choke back sobs of her own and the bile quickly rising in her throat.

_Chloe,_

_I hope that where ever you and Aubrey are right now, that you are happy, because my baby girl, Beca is not. Do you remember Beca at all? You know, the girl you told you loved and would never leave? Well, now thanks to you, Beca's just attempted to commit suicide._

_I can't tell you right now if she's alive or not, because I don't even fucking know. I found her a few hours ago in her room with her wrists slashed and this letter to you on her desk. Even after SHATTERING her heart, Beca still loves you, you know. Its not right Chloe, and I hope that you live with this guilt every fucking day __of your life now. You've taken my only daughter away, and I hope you know that you leaving was perhaps the most selfish cowardly thing anyone's ever done._

___My baby's life is now hanging in the balance of a bunch of machines, and she's hanging on to life by a thread. According to the doctors, she lost almost half the blood in her body, and that its a miracle that she's still alive. Unfortunately, despite everything that the doctors are doing, she's unresponsive to treatment. She's in a coma, and won't wake up._

___Chloe, I really hate saying this, but you need to come back, it might be the only way to wake her up. She lost and broken without you, and though In hate it, she needs you. Before meeting you, she was lost at see, desperately clinging to her sanity and her life. When she met you though, you threw her a life line, and she took that. You were her everything, and now. now, you've taken that away from her._

___I don't give a fuck anymore as to why you left. I don't fucking care if you left her for Aubrey, if you left her because you were afraid, I don't fucking care anymore. I don't even care if you love her anymore, if you even ever loved her. Chloe, you owe her this. All I'm asking you to do is take one fucking day to see the girl that gave you everything. It is the very fucking least that you can do. You owe everyone here an explanation Chloe.  
_

___Warren Mitchell_

Looking up from the letter, Aubrey's gaze locked on to Chloe's._  
_

"Chloe Beale." Aubrey said, her voice hard. "Could you please explain this to me?"

"Ezplainz what?" Chloe asked, her words slurred. "Whaa's there even to say Bree? Beca's gone now."

"Apparently, when this letter was sent, she was not." Aubrey said, her voice rising in anger "CHLOE BEALE! YOU LIED TO ME!"

"I lied to a lot of people Bree." Chloe slurred, completely lost in her won world. "Your nameses is jus on the list of many."

"Chloe Beale." Aubrey said, her voice deadly calm. "Tomorrow, you and I are going down to Atlanta, and we are going to make things right. You will explain to Warren what happened, what really happened, and why you left. I'm done babying you Chloe. Not only have your ruined your life, you're ruining Warren's life, my life, your child's life and worst of all, you may have already ruined Beca's life."

With that said, Aubrey stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut. However, Chloe was far too drunk, far to numb to even care about what her friend said, Truthfully, only half of the words said even registered with her.

"Beca, Beca, Beca" Chloe sighed. "My poor, poor Beca. We were titanium, and now look at us."

* * *

**Whew, nice chapter, right guys? So you know, reviews are a GREAT way to make me want to post the next chapter. You can't deny the results either. This was suppose to be a one-shot, y'all left a bunch of reviews, and now this is a full blown fic. You guys left a bunch of reviews yesterday, and TODAY, I wrote another chapter... hmm. I see a pattern here! So yeah. Guys, I love reviews more then I love puppies and a capella combined, so, if you love me, or you just love this fic, you'll leave me a review. PLEASE! Let me know that this is a worthy endeavor!**


	5. Safe and Sound

**Fuck it mortals, how the hell did you convince me to write this? This was just suppose to be a slightly angsty one-shot, not a full blown fic! Now I freaking cry every chapter I write. Damn you all... No, not really, because all of you have been so fucking awesome, that I can't even put it into words. But still. I have work to do, and this is a major distraction.  
**

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed, favorited, or even just read this fic, Guys, your the reason I stay up until 4 AM and then get up at 6:30 to do this all over again. So yeah, if you like this, and you like my writing, a little verification's always nice, and you guys let me know that the loss of sleep is totally worth it.**

**Side note, read this chapter with Taylor Swift's song "Safe and Sound" on. That's the song I wrote this to, and I swear, if you don't cry reading this, while listening to this, you have no soul.**

**So, I own nothing, blah, blah, blah. Are the Universal people even actually going to sue me? I mean really, don't they have Pitch Perfect 2 to be filming?**

* * *

_I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_  
_The sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Don't you dare look out your window, darling,_  
_Everything's on fire_  
_The war outside our door keeps raging on_  
_Hold on to this lullaby_  
_Even when music's gone_  
_Gone_

_Just close your eyes_  
_The sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_  
_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_  
_La La (La La)_  
_La La (La La)_  
_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_  
_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_  
_La La (La La)_

_Just close your eyes_  
_You'll be alright_  
_Come morning light,_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

* * *

_Beca Mitchell was in a dream. She knew this, because Chloe was there, but she wasn't going to complain. Anymore, dreams were the only times she could see her beloved, and she more then happy to spend every second she could with Chloe. Though she knew it wasn't real, she could forget just for the time being, and ti made being apart that much easier. Of course, when she woke up, t was like Chloe left all over again, but what was a girl to do? Every second away from Chloe was torture anyway. Might as well have a bit of a reprieve any way._

_"Hey Beca-boo!" Chloe said, her hair sparkling in the sunlight. _

_However, that was nothing compared to the megawatt smile on her face. The smile that disintegrated every single one of Beca's walls. The smile that made Beca feel like she was at home where ever she was. The smile that could make Beca's knees weak and a smile of her own creep its way onto her face._

_"Hey Chlo-poke!" Beca teased back. "You comin' or what?"_

_Chloe stuck her tongue out. "I am... i just have to check something first."_

_"FIIIIIIINE!" Beca huffed. "Just hurry."  
_

_Why were they hurrying? Beca wanted to slow this all down. She wanted to bask in Chloe presence just a little but more, until the morning light would wake her up and then she would once again be all alone in their bed._

_"Alright Becs" Chloe said, as she slid into the car. "Lets go."_

_"Took you long enough." Beca smiled. _

_"Psh, it takes a lot to be beautiful all the time" Chloe joked. _

_"Bullshit." Beca said simply. "Chloe, you're beautiful all the time. I honestly don't even know why you bother with make-up in the first place."_

_'Aww, babe." Chloe smiled. "However, sucking up ain't gonna get you laid, so this date better be something."_

_"It will be." Beca promised._

_"Good." Chloe said, a smile smile on her face._

_With that said, Beca couldn't help herself. She leaned into kiss Chloe. Kissing Chloe was easily Beca's favorite thing to do in the world. It never failed to take her breath away, and it was like waking up from along winter's sleep at the same time. It was the most thrilling and relaxing feeling in the world. Honestly, Beca wasn't sure exactly how it made her feel, but she knew that there certainly weren't enough words to describe it._

_Breaking apart from the kiss, Beca couldn't help but to fall in love with Chloe all over again._

_"God Chlo," Beca said, trying to catch her breath. "How did a girl like me ever get a goddess like you?"_

_Suddenly, the scene changed. No longer was Chloe smiling at her and laughing with her. No longer were they in the warm sunlight, but in cold, all encompassing darkness. In fact, Beca didn't even know where Chloe was. She couldn't see or hear anything. She could only feel the cold and a soul numbing depression._

_Suddenly, Chloe's voice came, as though it were from the heavens or from hell itself._

_"You never did have me, Beca" Chloe's voice spat. "Did you honestly believe that someone like me, could ever love someone as pathetic as you?"_

_"But, you said, I thought-" Beca fumbled for the right words. _

_This wasn't how it was suppose to be! Chloe told her that they were suppose to be together. That they were both in love._

_"I LIED Beca" The voice sneered, as though Chloe could read Beca's mind. "I never meant a word that I said to were just a little fling for me, someone to warm my bed while I was in college. Did you really think that I could even love you? You're worthless and absolutely pathetic. You have no future, and waste your time trying to be a DJ, when you really have no chance."_

_"THAT'S A LIE!" Beca roared. This wasn't her Chloe. Her Chloe was never this cold. "You're lying to me! You loved me. You promised that it would be the two of us together forever!"_

_Suddenly, it was as though the light switch had been flipped. Light flooded the room. Beca was in a cold stone room, with a window that looked into another room. Beca saw Chloe and Aubrey together on a sofa, cuddling through this window. With a roar, Beca launched herself at this window, only to find that she couldn't even move._

_"Really Beca, did you really think Chloe could love you when she had me?" Aubrey sneered. "I mean, how could you ever even compare to me? I can provide for Chloe. I have a secure future, and I am everything that you can never be."_

_"That's not true!" Beca yelled. "I can take care of Chloe, and we can be happy together."_

_"That's just hilarious." Chloe laughed. "You think I was happy with you? I only stayed with you, because I felt bad for you! You're absolutely pathetic Beca Mitchell. Aubrey is everything I could ever dream of and more."_

_Aubrey laughed at this, and then leaned in and began to kiss Chloe. HER Chloe. What hurt more though, was that Chloe was kissing her back, and quite enthusiastically. _

_Beca wanted to scream, to shout, to make Chloe stop, but she found herself unable to do anything. In fact, she couldn't even move. Frozen in place, Beca was forced to watch as Chloe kissed Aubrey, as Aubrey laid Chloe back down._

_Slowly, Aubrey inched Chloe's shirt, and then pants off. Beca watched as Chloe did the same to Aubrey, as she whispered sweet nothings into Aubrey's ear, and as Aubrey's lips were on Chloe's._

_"No, no, no!" Beca wanted to scream. This was so wrong. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. Beca was the one that was suppose to be kissing Chloe, making love to her, not Aubrey. Not Aubrey, Beca! This wasn't how this was suppose to happen. _

_"NOOOO!" Beca screamed, finally able to speak._

_This caused Chloe to look up from Aubrey's neck._

_"Shut up Beca!" Chloe barked. "You had your chance, and now you've lost it. Now you just have to sit back and live with it."_

_"No, no, no" Beca sobbed. "I love you Chloe. I always have, and always will."_

_"Well, I don't love you." Chloe laughed, as though she was amused by Beca's love. "I never have, and never will. I have Aubrey now, and I don't need you anymore."_

_With that said, Chloe turned back to Aubrey, and once again their lips met._

_WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! Beca wanted to wake up now. She couldn't take this anymore. This was killing her. She had to wake up. Beca closed her eyes, and then opened them again. Still, she would not wake up. She still saw Aubrey and Chloe together, and she still sat in the room/ She screamed shouted, and pitched a fit, but still, the scene before her would not go away.  
_

_As Chloe was about to come, she locked eyes with Beca. However, instead of seeing Chloe's beautiful baby blue eyes, her eyes were black. Her gaze held none of the warmth or love that it use to, but instead was full of spite and distaste._

_"AUBREEEEEEEEEEY!" Chloe screamed._

_"NOOOOO!" Beca yelled. This was a dream. It had to be. She just had to wake up. Why wasn't she waking up?_

_"Oh Beca.." Aubrey chuckled. "This is no dream."_

_Beca could feel everything she had in her just drain right out of her. This was no dream, was it? Chloe really didn't love her anymore, didn't she? Chloe and Aubrey were together now, and Beca was all alone. Just as it was suppose to be though. Beca would forever be alone. That was just how things were. With nothing left to do, Beca feel her knees and just cried._

* * *

Chloe sat in the terminal, waiting for her flight. Beside her, Aubrey sat next to her as 'moral support'. In reality, Aubrey was only coming to make sure that Chloe actually set things right, rather then just sit in a bar and forget about all of her problems. While Chloe could appreciate Aubrey's concern, she still was slightly, okay, a lot resentful of Aubrey's intervention. Though Aubrey meant well, Chloe really didn't see how this was Aubrey's battle.

"The flight leaves in twenty minutes." Aubrey said. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, MOM!" Chloe snapped. "I'm a big girl. Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to catch a flight!"

"First, you need to tone the dramatics down." Aubrey said, completely unfazed by Chloe's angry tone. "Second, we wouldn't be doing this if SOMEONE hadn't run when they should have been honest. Third, I have no doubt about your ability to catch a flight. I doubt your ability to face Beca."

Chloe's anger dissipated at this. As usual, Aubrey was right. Fucking bitch was always right. But then again, she DID want to be a lawyer, so that would make sense. But still, it wasn't fair. Why couldn't she see that Chloe ran because it was the right thing to do? Why couldn't she see that this separation had killed her nearly as much as it had almost killed Beca. In fact, Chloe was sure that if it weren't for Aubrey, Chloe would already be six feet under.

"Earth to Chloe?" Aubrey said, snapping her fingers in front of Chloe's face in an attempt to get her attention. "Did you just not hear a word I just said?"

"What?" Chloe asked, shaking away the morbid feeling. "Sorry, I was a bit spaced. What were you saying?"

Aubrey laughed a bit at this. "Of course you were Chlo. I said that the flight leaves in five. Are you ready?"

"Shit!" Chloe cursed, all of her fears and concerns once again resurfacing. "It leaves in five minutes? Aubrey, I'm not ready for this! I really don't think that I can bare to see Beca like that. And how could I face Warren? Aubrey I can't"

"First of all, yes you can." Aubrey said sharply, cutting Chloe fearful ramblings off. "Secondly, you will face Warren, and you will make things right. You owe it to everyone there. In case you forgot, you leaving nearly destroyed Beca, and THAT is why we need to go back. I understand your logic. I really do. However, there is a girl, and annoying pain in my ass alt girl, but a girl none the less that needs your help right now. Chloe, I know that you're afraid, and that this is going to hurt, but you have to do this. You have to do this for Beca. I know just as well as you do, that you still love Beca. Now, its time to prove it to yourself and everyone else that you do. Chloe, if you don't go back, Beca might DIE! DO you understand that? She's DYING right now! Chloe, you very well might be her last hope."

Chloe couldn't take it anymore. Breaking down in the airport, Chloe wept. She cried for everyone that she hurt. She cried for Warren, for the pain that she caused him. She cried for Aubrey, and all that she had done,all she had put on hold for her. She cried for Baylie, and the life that she was born into. She cried for Beca, and all the pain she had caused her. However, most of all, she cried for herself. For the pain she was in, for the hate she held for herself, for the person she had become.

"Shhh..." Aubrey whispered into her ear as she clung to Aubrey's arm. "I know it hurts Chlo. Just let it out. I'm here. This isn't going to be easy, but you can do this. Shhh..."

For a few minutes longer, Chloe clung to Aubrey, crying into her arm. The fact that Aubrey never once told her to stop crying, or that everything would be alright, made everything worse. Chloe knew that as a child, if Aubrey cried, her father would berate and yell at her for this. Oh how far Aubrey had come since they met freshman year in college. Then, Chloe had been the strong one, and Aubrey was the one racked with insecurities. Now their roles had been reversed, and Chloe couldn't help but to see the irony in the situation.

"I'm being stupid now, aren't I" Chloe sniffed, as her sobs died away.

"No, your being human." Aubrey said, a kind smile on her face. "Now chin up. We have a flight to catch and lives to fix."

As if Aubrey had planned this, over the loudspeaker they heard their flight be announced.

Drying her eyes, Chloe got up. It was now or never, right? Aubrey was right. She had to do this. Now was not the time to feel sorry for herself. She had a year to do that, and now, look at what it had cost Beca. Her sweet, sweet Beca. There would be time for her to cry, but that would have to be later. Now, Beca's life was on the line, and God himself would be unable to stand in her way. It was time to make everything right.

As Chloe boarded the flight to Barden, she took one last look at New York, and felt nothing. Barden was her home, something New York had never be. She was going home.

* * *

Warren Mitchell had not left the hospital in four days. He spent those days with Beca when he could, and sitting in the waiting in the waiting room when he couldn't. It tore him apart to see his baby like this. However, now wasn't the time for him to lose it. He couldn't run now. Beca needed him to be strong now, and he had already run once. Look where it got him.

Funny, once upon a time, he thought that Chloe was the one for Beca. That Chloe could be the one to break down all of Beca's walls, and let her see the good in life again. And that's exactly what she did, only to crush all of Beca's hopes and leave her in the dark once again.

Oh the irony of life, right? The one that can save you can very easily be the one who drowns you too. Having a taste of heaven and then being cast back down to Earth can drive a person to madness. Beca being the perfect example. She finally had begun to trust other people, and she was laughing and happy. Once Chloe left though, all of that disappeared. Her life had come crashing down. The house of cards Beca built was destroyed in a second, collapsed and beyond repair. Warren did his best to try and help his daughter, he really did. But now, look at where they were. He should have tried harder. He should have seen the warning signs, He should have gone to New York, found Chloe, and dragged her back to explain things to Beca.

Placing his head in his hand, Warren felt everything he'd been holding in crash down upon him. His baby was dying right now. For the past few days, Warren had pushed this fact away, and simply busied himself making all the necessary calls and getting everything Beca would need. But now, at 3 AM in a hospital waiting room, this harsh reality came to him. His Baby was dying and there wasn't a God damn thing he could do about it!

"Mr. Mitchell?" A familiar voice said.

Looking up, Warren saw bright red hair and brilliant blue eyes.

"Chloe..." Warren breathed.


	6. White Horse

**Greetings mortals, I have returned. Now where's my trumpet fanfare? So yeah, as usual, you mortals have to be so freaking awesome that I have to update again and not leave you all wondering what happens next. And yes, I nearly did decide to let you all stew for a few days or weeks. But, I'm awesome and didn't. Now you all better leave me a bunch of nice reviews.**

**To all of you who hate the cliff hangers, sorry I'm not sorry. That's kinda my thing. And yes, I really do only get like 2.5 hours of sleep a night. If I'm lucky. Oh joys of having insomnia. But hey, you guys get updates more, so y'all can't really complain.  
**

**BTW, seriously, listen to the song if there is one. I write most chapters to a depressing song, and it really does make everything that much more heart breaking. Maybe it doesn't though. Maybe its just me. You should all totally leave a review telling me if this is true.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, and I say this so you can't sue!**

* * *

**White Horse**

_Say you're sorry  
That face of an angel  
Comes out just when you need it to  
As I paced back and forth all this time  
Cause I honestly believed in you_

_Holding on_  
_The days drag on_  
_Stupid girl,_  
_I should have known, I should have known_

_That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,_  
_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,_  
_Lead her up the stairwell_  
_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,_  
_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,_  
_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around_

_Maybe I was naïve,_  
_Got lost in your eyes_  
_And never really had a chance_  
_My mistake, I didn't know to be in love_  
_You had to fight to have the upper hand_

_I had so many dreams_  
_About you and me_  
_Happy endings_  
_Now I know_

_That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,_  
_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,_  
_Lead her up the stairwell_  
_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,_  
_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,_  
_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around_

_And there you are on your knees,_  
_Begging for forgiveness, begging for me_  
_Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry_

_Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,_  
_I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well_  
_This is a big world, that was a small town_  
_There in my rear view mirror disappearing now_  
_And it's too late for you and your white horse_  
_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now_

_Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa_  
_Try and catch me now_  
_Oh, it's too late_  
_To catch me now_

* * *

_"Chloe..." Warren breathed. _

Before him stood the one person that literally tore his life apart. The woman that drove his baby girl to madness now stood before him, with a meek smile upon her pretty face. However, this was lost upon him. The smile that was meant to invite pity or trust now only disgusted him. After all, why should she be able to smile when his baby couldn't even breathe without the aide of fifty different machines. Then Chloe's eyes. Her beautiful, crystal baby blue eyes. They weren't nearly as lively as they were before, but they still held a spark in them. Those god damn eyes that once invited confidence and he trust now only made him want to run away or break her nose. Actually, the second one would be nice if only he could move.

"Hi Mr. Mitchell." Chloe said softly. "Before you get up and start yelling, just please, five minutes. I need to explain why I left. I know that its probably not a very good reason, but I do love your daughter. So much. I still do, and everyday that I was away-"

"How dare you." Warren growled, his voice so low, that it was almost inaudible.

Chloe visibly flinched at his words. Her face scrunched up in pain, though Warren had not hit her. Yet. However, despite his obvious agitation and anger, Chloe took a tentative step forward, her hands up, as though she was surrendering.

"Mr. Mitchell," Chloe said, her voice wavering but strong. "I know that I have no right to be here. That everything that's happening right now is my fault-"

"Damn right is your fault!" Warren growled, all of his anger, fear and hatred bubbling to the surface. "Do you have any idea what you put Beca through when you left? Fuck what you put all of us through, her friends and family, but BECA! DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW MANY HOURS SHE JUST SAT THERE CRYING, WAITING FOR YOU TO RETURN? Chloe, you destroyed my baby girl, and there is nothing in this God forsaken world that you can do to ever atone for what you put Beca through."

Warren sat back down, his face streaked with tears, though he made no move to wipe them away. Chloe looked at the broken man before her, and it tore her heart in two. Her leaving had created so many more repercussions, hurt so many more people, then she had ever intended to.

"I accept that and completely agree with you" Chloe said, her own face wet with tears. "And now, all I want to do is make things right. I hurt Beca beyond any chance of forgiveness, and if she wakes up and tells me to leave, then I will. But please, Mr. Mitchell, I need to at least try. I swear I never meant to hurt your daughter when I left."

"Oh really?" Warren sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I bet you though Beca would be just fine when you left. That Beca wouldn't give two shits that her entire world had literally just collapsed around her! THAT THE ONE PERSON WHO SWORE SHE'D NEVER LEAVE LEFT WOULDN'T KILL HER? Yeah. I'm sure you never meant for ANY of this to happen."

"I didn't." Chloe choked out, her voice barely a whisper. "Dear God I never meant for any of this to happen."

Warren sat down, his anger not gone, but momentarily spent. Placing his head in his hands, Warren just cried. This was all far too much for him to take at the moment. Though he was the one who asked Chloe to come back, seeing the red head demon who haunted Beca's dreams for the past year had a far greater effect on him then he had originally thought it would. Soon, Warren felt the seat next to his had been occupied.

"Mr. Mitchell..." Chloe begged. "Please, I know that I'm the last person that you want to see right now, and that I know that you can never trust me, but please. You have to believe me when I tell you that I had, what I believed, good reasons to leave your daughter. You have no idea how much i have missed your daughter, how much this has hurt me. I know that Beca's pain easily out weighs mine, but believe me when I say that I am so sorry for all of this. I never meant for this to happen."

For a while, no one spoke, Warren simply sat there silently crying. Beside him, Chloe sat motionless, tears falling from her eyes, but not a sound did she make. The air in the room felt suffocating. Was there even air in the room? Chloe wanted to run, to leave and never look back. No, she couldn't do that. She already had run once, and now look at where they were.

"Chloe." Warren finally said. "Before I let you go back in that room. Before I start yelling again, I need to know. Why did you leave? Beca LOVED you. Hell, she was about to marry you! I thought that the two of you were happy together. So why Chloe? I'm done talking, done wondering, done hurting. Just tell me why, and you can leave in peace."

"I was- umm.. I-" The words that Chloe had to say, so desperately wanted to say were now lodged in her throat. She couldn't speak, couldn't tell Warren why she had left. "I- I couldn't-"

"You know what?" Warren said, chuckling humorlessly. "It doesn't even fucking matter right now. What matters is that my baby girl's lost her will to live. Its funny, she should be alright. Doctors don't know why she hasn't woken up. But I do. She's got a fucking broken heart Chloe. And nothing the doctors can do is ever going to fix that."

"Mr. Mitchell-" Chloe pleaded.

"Funny, there was a time when you'd greet me happily and call me Warren." Warren went on, ignoring the silent pleas of his red head companion. "But now, look at you. You call me Mr. Mitchell and can barely look me in the eye. Oh well. That's how it should be. You ought to be ashamed of what you did to Beca. If our roles had been reversed, I don't know if I'd even be able to speak."

"WARREN!" Chloe roared, and just like that, the dam holding everything in was suddenly broken.

Startled, Warren looked up.

"I was raped Warren!" Chloe said, words tumbling out of her mouth. "Though that's not what prompted me to leave. I got pregnant with that bastards kid, and I didn't want to burden Beca with that. Didn't want her to have to deal with my problems. I get now that what i did was wrong, but at the time, I thought that I was doing the right thing."

"Oh..." Warren said, unsure of what to say.

However, Chloe couldn't take it any more, and just simply broke down once again into gut wrenching sobs. Clinging on to Warren, Chloe sobbed into his sleeve. Awkwardly, Warren wrapped his arm around the crying woman, unsure of what to say, what to do. Never, in all of the scenarios as to why Chloe had left had something like this come to his mind. Finally, Chloe's sobs died down, and she found her voice once more.

"Mr. Mitchell," Chloe said, her voice rough and weak. "I know that I shouldn't have left, that I should have stayed and let Beca chose the life she wanted. I never meant to hurt her, and I most certainly never meant to break her heart."

"I know Chloe, I know." Warren said sadly. "I get your reasoning, i really do. And as much as I wish I could feel bad for you, as much as I want to forgive you, I just can't. Something bad happened to you, something terrible really, but you still ran when you promised Beca you never would. Until my baby in there wakes up, until she can forgive you, or at least move on, I can never see you in without feeling absolute contempt for you. Can you understand that?"

"Yeah..." Chloe said. "I get that."

* * *

Seeing Beca hooked up to all of the machines, her heart monitor beeping slowly had a far greater effect on Chloe then she had ever though possible. Something about seeing Beca so lifeless, so vulnerable, was absolutely heart wrenching. Slowly, as though she were in a dream, Chloe walked over to the edge of the bed where Beca slept.

"Beca..." Chloe whispered. "Oh Beca..."

_beep. beep. beep. beep._

Behind her, Chloe could hear the monitor sound out the rhythmic beating of Beca's heart.

_beep. beep. beep. beep._

"Oh Beca..." Chloe whispered. "I'm so so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Baby, please. I need you to wake up now."

_beep. beep. beep. beep._

Beca showed no response to Chloe, not even her heart beat changed. Its funny. Chloe almost expected Beca to wake up when she walked in. As though Beca would be able to feel her presence, and then that alone would be enough for Beca to break through. But this wasn't Hollywood, and this wasn't a fairytale. This was real life, and things like that didn't really happen. Happy endings were just nice ideas that were comforting to think of when everything else was right in the world. But when everything in the world was crashing down on you, when you really needed those happy endings to be true, they were only there to mock you.

_beep. beep. beep. beep._

"Beca, I still love you. Always have, and always will." Chloe said, tears falling onto Beca's hand. "You know I read every letter you sent me, listened to ever voice mail, every CD, mix tape, and playlist, that you ever sent. I listened and read them all, and then cried afterwards."

_beep. beep. beep. beep._

Still no response. But in reality, was Chloe really expecting there to be one? However, this was going to be the last time Chloe ever left Beca's side. She'd sit here for all eternity if she had to now. She had learned her lesson once, the hard way, and now, even God himself couldn't make Chloe move from this spot. Pulling up a chair, Chloe sat down, still clutching Beca's hand.

Oh if only she came a little earlier, a little sooner. Bu now, it was too late for her to try and undo her mistakes, a little to late, and not nearly enough. She could say she was sorry until she was blue in the face for all it would do. Beca believed in her, trusted her, loved her, and what did Chloe do? She flung it all back in her face. She led Beca to the gates of heaven only to slam them in her face, and for the rest of her life she would regret that.

* * *

_Beca still was in a dream. However, thankfully Aubrey had left and now it was only her and Chloe int he room. Beca was still curled up in her little ball, and Chloe was still in that room, though now she was alone._

_"Beca..." Fake Chloe whispered. "Oh Beca..."_

_Beca wouldn't look up. Nope she wouldn't be fooled again. Curling her self up only tighter still, Beca sat and rocked herself back and forth slowly. If she looked up again, she knew that she'd just see the evil fake Chloe glaring back at her._

_"Oh Beca..." Fake Chloe whispered. "I'm so so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Baby, please. I need you to wake up now."_

_Beca was so tempted to look up, but no way in hell was she going to be fooled again. But the voice sounded so real... almost like her Chloe. But her Chloe was gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. Her Chloe was in New York with Aubrey, probably cuddling together by a warm fire, telling each other that they loved each other.  
_

_"Beca, I still love you. Always have, and always will." Fake Chloe said, "You know I read every letter you sent me, listened to ever voice mail, every CD, mix tape, and playlist, that you ever sent. I listened and read them all, and then cried afterwards."_

_Oh how cruel this Chloe was. How easily she made Beca want to believe that Chloe missed her. That Chloe had always loved her. But Beca knew better. Never again would she trust anyone ever again. Though she never could blame Chloe for leaving, she also could never love again. After all, this was no fairytale. She was no princess waiting for someone to come and recuse her. She already had her chance, already had her happily ever after. Now this was what happened after. This was what happened after the two people rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after._

_There never was a happily ever after, and there never would be. She was just a stupid girl to believe in dreams of love. She was so stupid to let Chloe sweep her off of her feet. So so stupid! But Beca wanted to believe that Chloe was a knight in shining armor with a white horse that could save her from all of the demons that plagued her. She was falling, falling, falling, and it was just too late for anyone to catch her now.  
_


	7. Demons

**Greetings Mortals! So, it seems like you all want Beca to wake up. Too bad, so sad, this all happens on my terms! MWAHAHA! Right, yeah, so thanks for all the reviews. As always, you're all the best, and I love you all more then puppies and cheesecake. Not more then a capella though. Sorry!**

**cxcxcx386, I do love you more then a capella though. Mortals, look at the reviews she leaves and then copy her lovely example. Long reviews make me happy.**

**So, this chapter, there are a number of added plot twists and character developments. Self harm and violence will be present, and if this is something you shouldn't read,the please don't. PM me if you need to know what happens. Also, This chapter for once has a bit of Chaubrey friendship fluff in it, so y'all will get a momentary breather from all the dark shit.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, and I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

_**Demons**_

_When the days are cold_  
_ And the cards all fold_  
_ And the saints we see_  
_ Are all made of gold_

_ When your dreams all fail_  
_ And the ones we hail_  
_ Are the worst of all_  
_ And the blood's run stale_

_ I wanna hide the truth_  
_ I wanna shelter you_  
_ But with the beast inside_  
_ There's nowhere we can hide_

_ No matter what we breed_  
_ We still are made of greed_  
_ This is my kingdom come_  
_ This is my kingdom come_

_ When you feel my heat_  
_ Look into my eyes_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ Don't get too close_  
_ It's dark inside_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ It's where my demons hide_

_ Curtain's call_  
_ Is the last of all_  
_ When the lights fade out_  
_ All the sinners crawl_

_ So they dug your grave_  
_ And the masquerade_  
_ Will come calling out_  
_ At the mess you've made_

_ Don't wanna let you down_  
_ But I am hell bound_  
_ Though this is all for you_  
_ Don't wanna hide the truth_

_ No matter what we breed_  
_ We still are made of greed_  
_ This is my kingdom come_  
_ This is my kingdom come_

_ When you feel my heat_  
_ Look into my eyes_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ Don't get too close_  
_ It's dark inside_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ It's where my demons hide_

_ They say it's what you make_  
_ I say it's up to fate_  
_ It's woven in my soul_  
_ I need to let you go_

_ Your eyes, they shine so bright_  
_ I wanna save that light_  
_ I can't escape this now_  
_ Unless you show me how_

_ When you feel my heat_  
_ Look into my eyes_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
_ It's where my demons hide_  
**_ Don't get too close_**  
**_ It's dark inside_**  
**_ It's where my demons hide_**  
**_ It's where my demons hide_**

* * *

For the next three days, Chloe sat by Beca's side, never once moving, and whispering memories and pleas in Beca's ear. Only for short sprinted trips to the bathroom, did she ever leave Beca's side. She barely ate or slept, and only when Aubrey came to check up on her in the mornings, did Chloe eat. From what Warren had seen, she did her very best to fight off sleep too. For the first two days, Chloe hadn't even closed her eyes, except to blink, instead staring intently at Beca's face. Only once had he seen her drift off, still clutching Beca's hand as though it were a life line. Which to her it very well might have been. Only two hours later, did Chloe's head shoot up, a strange look on her face before she finally took in her surroundings and her previous look of determination make its way back onto her face.

Never once did Chloe ever say anything else to Warren though after their little face off in the waiting room. However, this was just fine for the two of them. Warren may not have knocked out all of Chloe's teeth as he (oh so desperately) wanted to, but that didn't mean he liked her. All he had to do was look into Beca's room if he needed a reminder as to why he hated the red headed woman before him.

However, he could at least, grudgingly, admit that perhaps Chloe really would stay this time. However, it could not be forgotten that Chloe had indeed left once before. She had sworn that she was going to stay last time, and look where that got them all.

"Beca, please baby, I need you to wake up." Chloe was whispering, as Warren walked into the room.

Her voice was hoarse, and scratchy, and yet she still spoke to Beca, still begged her to awaken. Her eyes were lined with dark circles, proof of her sleepless vigil.

"Beca, I'm here now. I don't know if you even want me here, but I need you to know that I am so sorry for what happened. This is all my fault. I never meant for you to get hurt. i was just trying to protect you. Please baby. Just wake up."

"Have you told her why you left in the first place yet?" Warren said, clearing his throat.

"What?" Chloe looked up, startled "No, I haven't I just-"

"Why not?" Warren asked, pulling up a chair.

"I don't- I just" Chloe fumbling for the right words.

"You know, that was the big question Beca would always ask, after you left." Warren went on conversationally. "She asked that everyday, and I never had an answer for her, because honestly, I didn't know either. She'd cry and drink, and beg for a reason, but no one could ever give her a satisfactory answer."

"Warren, I-" Chloe tried to apologize. However, Warren raised a hand, signaling her to be quiet.

"You know Chloe, she refused to believe that you had fallen out of love with her. No matter what everyone else said, no matter what the evidence would say, she was adamant in her belief that there had to be some other reason. However, eventually, we broke through, and convinced her that there might have possibly been a chance that you never really did love her." Here, Warren let out a dark laugh "Unfortunately, this broke her even more, and soon, she was drinking even more, even turning to drugs every now and then. That last letter she sent you? The one before the suicide letter? That was her begging you to talk to her, to tell her otherwise, that you loved her, that you still cared. Its funny. If you would have told her the real reason as to why you left, there's a good chance that we wouldn't be in this predicament."

"Mr. Mitchell, please-" Chloe tried again, every word from Warrens mouth another nail in Chloe's coffin.

"Its funny though." Warren went on, completely ignoring the woman next to him. "Even despite all that you put her through. Despite shattering her heart and LEAVING her, breaking ever promise you made her, she still adored you, still loved you more then anything else. Did she tell you in any of her letters that she slept with a picture clutched in her hands every night? That she cried thousands of tears over your picture, talking to it, begging you to come back to her? She'd ask me what she did wrong, what she should have or could have done better, and I had no answer, because she was the perfect girl friend. She fucking was going to marry you for Christ's sake!"

Towards the end, Warren's casual voice broke, and the facade of calmness broke. His voice broke at the last sentence. Without waiting for Chloe to say anything, without letting Chloe try and defend herself, Warren got up abruptly and left the room. Staring at where Warren once sat, Chloe wasn't sure what to say, what to do. How could she? Everything that he had said to her was true. She had shattered Beca's heart, shattered her life, and there was nothing she could ever do to make up for that.

* * *

Sitting in the dingy hotel room she had rented, Aubrey paced back and forth. Despite her initial dislike of the small brunette, Beca had grown on Aubrey over the years, and before Chloe had left, before this whole shit fest had started, Aubrey would have counted Beca as one of her friends.

But then Chloe came to her one day in February, claiming that Beca had left her, and that she was pregnant. Obviously Aubrey took her in and once again, she hated the tiny brunette.

For the past year, Aubrey worked at her father's law firm, doing her best to try and support her and Chloe, then later Baylie. However, now Aubrey felt like such a fool for so easily believing Chloe. Had not Beca at least earned enough credibility with Aubrey for her to at least call her when Chloe turned up at her door step? At the very least, Aubrey should have called Beca and yelled at her!

But no. Instead, she simply took Chloe in, and respected her wishes to just sever all ties with Beca. Looking back, such a request should have raised a number of warning bells in her head, but instead, she was blinded by her love for Chloe and shock at the story she told her.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Aubrey hissed to herself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid indeed. Her father was right. She was a complete waste! Here she was, an aspiring lawyer, and she couldn't even see through the simplest of lies? How oh so very stupid of her. She let emotion blind her to the truth and had allowed her personal feelings cloud her judgment. Why couldn't she just be the cold, logical, calculating, perfect person her father wanted?

Walking over to her suitcase, Aubrey pulled out a small box. Opening the lid, Aubrey pushed aside a layer of cotton to uncover a small, sharp blade innocently laid at the bottom of the box. Picking up the small blade between her thumb and for finger, Aubrey inspected the blade in the light.

Yes, behind the tough, strong, admittedly somewhat bitchy front that Aubrey put up, Aubrey was indeed just as fucked up as the rest of them. For years, Aubrey had hidden this part of her from everyone else, using physical pain to blot out the storm of emotions she so desperately tried to suppress. With the stress that her father placed on her, and the impossible expectations she placed on herself in attempt to please herself, some time around her freshman year of high school, Aubrey began to let out some of the stress and anxiety that boiled with in her with a blade.

Sliding her pants off, the thick ladder of scars on the inside of her thighs met her. Turning away, Aubrey grimaced at the sight. Even after all these years, Aubrey still hated the way each scar stood out at her. Each an ugly testament to her shameful weakness. With a sigh, Aubrey walked into the bathroom and sat in the tub. After all, she wouldn't want to get blood on the carpet. She'd done that before, and cleaning up blood off of a cheesy motel floor was not something on her to do list.

Gritting her teeth, Aubrey looked back at the sight before and almost laughed. Here she was, a grown woman and still she kept this stupid, pointless, childish habit. She was sitting in a fucking tub for God's sake in her God damn underwear! But such was life, and Aubrey knew that there was no point in feeling sorry for herself. All the pain she had, she inflicted on herself, and crying over that wouldn't get anything done.

Dragging the blade across the inside of her legs, Aubrey felt the familiar sting of the blade accompanied by the trail of red. Smiling a bit at the relief that the little red trail brought, Aubrey brought the Blade across her leg again and again until there were fifteen perfect little red lines on the insides of each of her legs.

As the blood dripped down her legs, Aubrey laid her head back against the cool tiles of the tub and let a few tears leak their way out of her eyes. Chloe always asked why Aubrey didn't swim, well this was why. During her Bella days, she had a fucking blast trying to hide her scars when they had to do bikini car washes.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Aubrey whispered to herself, softly banging her head against the wall. "Come on Posen. Pull yourself together."

With a sigh, Aubrey stood up, wincing a bit as the movement aggravated her cuts. For a second, Aubrey stood unsteadily, swaying a bit before she steadied herself. Taking off the rest of her clothes so that she could wash the blood off, Aubrey hesitated taking her underwear off.

Gritting her teeth, Aubrey gently glided the garment down, holing back a strangled scream as the fabric brushed again her cuts. She couldn't scream. There was no point in that. She did this to herself, and now she had to just deal with this.

Turning on the water ad hot as she could bare, Aubrey let the hot spray of the water wash away the blood and tears. Resting her head against the tile, Aubrey wanted nothing more then to just disappear at this moment. Stop fighting, stop pretending she was strong when really, she wasn't. But Chloe needed her right now, and she didn't have time for her little pity party.

Gritting her teeth, Aubrey showered off all traces of her recent bout of self hate and disgust. She would have time for this baby shit later. However, right now, she had something to do, and God himself would not dare to stand in her way

Twenty minutes later, Aubrey had finished her shower and had gotten dressed. Not a hair was out of place, and there wasn't a single wrinkle on her outfit. As usual, she looked immaculate and completely put together, as she should. Taking a quick look in the mirror, Aubrey checked to make sure that she was presentable. Satisfied, Aubrey walked to the door.

Taking once last look around the apartment, Aubrey scanned the room to make sure that everything was in place. Double checking to make sure she hadn't left anything out, Aubrey found the room to be in an acceptable condition for her to leave it in. Slamming the door behind her, Aubrey walked out. Without so much as a glance back.

* * *

Chloe sat beside Beca's bed, doing her best to fight off sleep. Hour after hour she sat here, praying for change, when none was to be had. She had begged with Beca, pleaded, and cried over her body for her to just wake up, but so far, there was no change in her status.

"Chloe Beale, please tell me you've at least gotten some sleep and eaten something sine I last left." Aubrey said as she strode into the room.

"Eating, sleep, wait what?" Chloe said as she was startled from her daze.

"Eating and sleep." Aubrey repeated. "Have you done either since I left?"

"Maybe?" Chloe said sheepishly. However, seeing the glare that Aubrey shot at her Chloe's shoulders slumped. "No."

"I thought so." Aubrey sighed, as she pressed a bagel into Chloe's free hand. "Now eat."

Chloe took the food, however,she made no move to eat. Instead, she just cast a worried eye back over to Beca, the fact that she hadn't eaten or slept at all today completely forgotten.

"Chloe, eat your God damn bagel." Aubrey barked.

Startled, Chloe took a small bite but soon found that even such a small amount of food stuck to her mouth and clogged the back of her throat. How could she even eat at a time like this? How could she even eat as Beca was in that hospital bed wasting away before her very eyes? It just wasn't right.

"Chloe Beale you need to get a fucking grip." Aubrey growled, as though she could read Chloe's mind. "This entire thing is your fault. Yes I get that. But wallowing in your own self pity and letting your own guilt overtake you isn't going to do anything for Beca. You need to pull yourself together. In the unlikely event that Beca wakes up now, you are in no condition to even talk to her! Now, eat your God damn bagel before I shove it down your throat!"

Shocked, Chloe took another bite of her bagel and began to chew, all previous feelings forgotten at the moment. Aubrey never cursed, and something about what she just said, the way she just said it... It shocked Chloe into submission.

"Good." Aubrey said nodding approvingly, as Chloe ate. "Now, I need to go and talk to Warren. I will be back in approximately ten minutes. When I get back in here, you better be finished eating, or so help me god, I swear I will fucking ram the rest of it down your throat. Do you understand me?"

Still too stunned to even speak, Chloe just nodded and obediently took another bite. With that done, Aubrey walked out the door, without so much as another glance back. Swallowing, Chloe shivered a bit. Aubrey was scary when she wanted to be.

* * *

_Beca sat in her corner and the torrent of events swirled around her. Fake Chloe kept pleading for her to wake up, to look at her, but Beca wasn't going to. Nup, no way Jose, that just ain't gonna happen today._

_Oddly enough, she though she heard her dad talking to her earlier, but the voice of Fake Chloe drowned him out. Sometimes, Fake Aubrey would come, although she never talked to Beca any more. She just yelled at Chloe, and then she left. Funny, Why was Aubrey mad at Chloe? But that didn't matter at the moment. The Mean Fake Chloe was back._

"_Beca, you pathetic bitch" Chloe hissed."Why did you have to cause all this trouble? Now I have to be back here babysitting your ass when I should be with Aubrey."_

_Beca said nothing, but instead curled herself into a tighter ball and wished that she could just disappear and hide away from Mean Fake Chloe's harsh gaze._

"_Look at me you bitch!" Chloe hissed. "See what you've done to me!"_

_Slowly, ever so slowly, Beca raised her head and took in the sight before her. Chloe red hair was now a mane of fire, and her once beautiful vibrant blue eyes were now black pits. Her cheeks were sallow, as though she hadn't been eating and her tongue was a snake._

"_Do you see what you've done to me?" Chloe hissed "Look at the monster you've turned me into. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
_

_Beca turned away, to frightened to look upon the monster she had created. _

_"You're not real" Beca sobbed, trying her best o push this monster away. "You're not there and I'm going to wake up now and you won't be there."_

_"Oh Beca." The monster hissed. "I am just as real as you."_

_Taking a step forward, the monster now stood right above her. Out of no where, a whip materialized in to her hand. Bringing the whip down, Beca felt the sharp sting of the whip upon her back._

_"Tell me Beca!" The monster shrieked as she brought the whip down again and again. "Am I real now? Am I just a figment of your imagination? IS THIS ALL JUST A DREAM?"_

_Sobbing Beca said nothing, and only covered her head as blow after punishing blow rained down onto wanted to make this all stop. she wanted to wake up and see that this was all just a dream, but try as she might, she couldn't wake up and end this torture._

_"TELL ME BECA!" The monster screeched, as the whip slashed down once again on to Beca's bloody and beaten back. "TELL ME, WHO IS REAL NOW? ARE YOU STILL DREAMING?"_

_"No..." Beca choked out, as she coughed up blood. "You can't be real."_

_Suddenly, the blows stopped. Surprised, Beca raised her head just a bit to see what was going on. However, instead of being met with an empty room as she had hoped, the monster was now right in front of her face. Before Beca even had a chance to scream, it grabbed her by her throat and lifted her in the air. Struggling to breath, Beca was powerless in front of this beast, this monster, as it brought her to its face._

_"So..." The monster hissed. "I'm not real?"_

_To weak from lack of air, Beca couldn't say anything, or do anything,_

_"Am I just a figment of your imagination?" The monster hissed. "Now tell me, does this feel real?"_

_Just like that, Beca's face was brought to the monster's as the snake inside of its mouth shoved its way into her. Unable to scream, unable to do anything, Beca was forced to stay there, as the snake wormed its way into her mouth and as the monster shredded her clothes._

_"Tell me!" The monster hiss, as the snake retracted back into its mouth. "Am I real now?"_

_"Chloe!" Beca croaked, using her name as a prayer. "Chloe."_

_"Oh Beca," The monster chuckled. "I am Chloe."_

_"No." Beca whispered, all of her fear forgotten, her pain, and nakedness. All forgotten._

_"Yes!" It hissed. "I am Chloe."_

_"You can't be!" Beca cried. "That's impossible!"_

_"Oh but it is." The monster chuckled. _

* * *

Aubrey walked back into Beca's room to find Chloe shoving the last bite of the bagel into her mouth. With a smirk, Aubrey pulled up a chair and joined her best friend at what could possibly be Beca's death bed.

"Hey." Chloe said weakly. "I finished it!"

"Yeah, you did." Aubrey chuckled. "Now, you're going to go back to the hotel and get a good nights sleep."

Immediately, Chloe's eyes snapped open, and were full of fear.

"No!" Chloe said, scooting away from Aubrey. "I can't leave! What if she wakes up! I need to be here Bree! I can't leave her! I just can't!"

"You can, and you will." Aubrey said calmly. "If you want, I can stay here while you sleep."

"No! Not happening." Chloe said panicked. "I left her once, and now look at where we are! Bree, I'm not leaving her side."

"Yes, you are." Aubrey said firmly. "you need to sleep Chloe! For serious, have you looked in a mirror recently? You're wasting away right now!"

"Bree, I can't leave her" Chloe said quietly, imploring Aubrey to see this. "I can't."

"How about a compromise then?" Aubrey finally said, realizing that getting Chloe to leave this hospital would be nearly impossible. "You go lay down in the waiting room and get a good night's sleep out there. I'll stay here and if anything changes, I'll tell you. Deal?"

Chloe's shoulders slumped forward, defeated. She knew that this would be the best offer Aubrey would give her, and while she was loathe to even let go of Beca's hand, deep down, she knew that Aubrey was right.

"Yeah... fine." Chloe sighed. "Promise you'll stay here all night and wake me if anything happens though?"

"Yeah, i promise." Aubrey said, happy that she got Chloe to sleep.

"Seriously Aubrey!" Chloe said, grabbing Aubrey's arm. In Chloe's once dead eyes now brewed a terrible storm. "I need you to tell me if anything happens. This is important!"

"Let go Chloe." Aubrey said, a bit nervously. "You need to calm down."

"I'll calm down when you give me your word." Chloe growled.

"Alright! I give you my word that I will watch over Beca in your absence. Okay?" Aubrey said, slightly concerned by her friends behavior.

"Yeah." Chloe said, letting Aubrey's arm go. "We're good."

With that said, Chloe padded out of the room.


	8. Don't wake me up

**Greetings mortals! So it seems you all enjoyed the double update. DOn't get use to those though, because I do actually have something that sort of kinda resembles a life. Oh bullshit, what the hell am I talking about. I have no life. But anyways, I love you all, and thank you so much for the reviews. **

**To everyone that leaves reviews, I swear to god, I read every single one of them, and now, at the end of each fic, I'm going to answer any and all questions you may have left.  
**

**Mortals, if you love me as much as I love you, you'll help me find depressing and sad songs that I can use for chapters. I'm running out of songs here, and when that happens, the fic will end.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, and I say this, so now you can't sue!**

* * *

**_Don't Wake Me Up_**

_Dearly beloved, if this love only exists in my dreams...don't wake me up. _

_ Too much light in this window, don't wake me up_  
_ Only coffee no sugar, inside my cup_  
_ If I wake and you're here still, give me a kiss_  
_ I wasn't finished dreaming, about your lips_

_ Don't wake me up, up, up, up up, up _  
_ Don't wake me up_  
_ Don't wake me.._

_ Don't wake me up _  
_ Don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up_  
_ Don't wake me up_  
_ Don't wake me.._

_ So much life in the city, you won't believe_  
_ Been awake for some days now, no time to sleep_  
_ If your heart is a pillow, this love's the bed_  
_ Tell me what is the music, inside my head_

_ I don't wanna fall, fall, fall, fall asleep no,_  
_ I don't wanna fall unless I'm falling for you_

_Don't wake me up, up, up, up up, up _  
_ Don't wake me up_  
_ Don't wake me.._

_ Don't wake me up _  
_ Don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up_  
_ Don't wake me up_  
**_ Don't wake me.._**

* * *

Mrs. Beale was almost exactly like her daughter. They both had the same vibrant red hair, both had the same impossibly brilliant cerulean eyes. They also both were incredibly caring, kind, bubbly and childishly curious. So, of course, when Aubrey appeared at her doorstep one day holding a baby, Mrs. Beale immediately ushered them inside and then demanded an explanation.

To be perfectly honest, and Mrs. Beale always was (she couldn't stand deception), she had originally thought that the baby was Aubrey's. Oh that was most certainly a conversation to remember. Aubrey had actually been so shocked that Mrs. Beale could even think that, the her mouth had hung agape for a moment or two before she had recovered and then begin to vehemently deny such accusations. But no, the little bundle in her arms right now was her daughter's. Her daughters!

Of all the ways Mrs. Beale thought that she would meet her future grandchildren, getting her granddaughter shoved into her hands with barely and explanation as to why was never high on the list. Though Mrs. Beale was dealing with this right now, and though she had promised to not call her daughter, though she missed her little munchkin pooie pie so so much, Aubrey and her daughter had better have one HELL of an explanation when they got back. Speaking of which, when would they get back? Aubrey had deposited Baylie in her arms more then four days ago, and still, Mrs. Beale had yet to here from either her daughter or Aubrey.

Slowly rocking Baylie back and forth in her lap, Mrs. Beale sighed. For the past year, Chloe had been acting increasingly strange. Prior to this year, Chloe had always been so happy, and barely a day went by when Chloe didn't call her with some random story or something cute Beca and she had done. But now, Mrs. Beale was lucky if her youngest even called her once a month. When Chloe did call, she always seemed so distant too. Gone was the babbling girl who could spend hours talking about nothing and everything at the same time, who would laugh at nearly everything her mother said and didn't know the meaning of boundaries.

When Chloe had visited for Christmas, Mrs. Beale had immediately known that something was amiss. Chloe barely spoke to anyone, didn't initiate and contact, and for the most part just sat in front of the fireplace downing glass after glass of wine. Which was exceedingly odd, especially for Chloe. Usually, Chloe was the life of the party, jumping onto her brothers' backs, telling stories, then getting ridiculously drunk and entertaining everyone with her drunken tales.

With a sigh, Mrs. Beale got up and walked back into the house. What had happened to her baby girl, her sweet sweet innocent Chloe? Had Beca done something? Immediately, Mrs. Beale pushed that thought out of her head. Beca was head of heels in love with Chloe. There was no way the she could ever do something to hurt Chloe. Smirking a bit, Mrs. Beale thought back to the first time Chloe had brought Beca home.

* * *

_"I'm HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME! MOOOOOOOOM!?" Chloe shouted as she burst through the door._

_"Hi sweetie! I'm so glad you're here!" Mrs. Beale said, wrapping her youngest and only daughter in a massive bear hug. "How have you been? Have you been eating? You look a bit thin."_

_"Yes MOM!" Chloe huffed as Mrs. Beale fussed over her. "I have been eating, and I's stupendously awesomely excellently superfullified amazballs now that I'm home."_

_"Alright then..." Mrs. Beale said, as she turned to walk away, Chloe's flailing and shreeching brought her back.  
_

_"MOOOOOOOOOM!" Chloe shouted. "YOU DIDN'T SAY HI TO BECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_

_Turning around, Mrs. Beale found a small brunette with a number of piercings and tattoos being pushed unwillingly towards her._

_"Chloe!" The brunette, Mrs. Beale assumed was Beca, hissed, "Calm down. This is bad enough as it is!"_

_"What's bad enough as it is?" __Mrs. Beale_ said sharply.

_Obviously she was messing with the poor girl, but the look of pure fear that Beca had in her eyes was nearly enough to make __Mrs. Beale_ break character. However, note the fact she said nearly. There were precious few things _Mrs. Beale_ enjoyed more then scaring the shit out of Chloe's new boyfriends/girlfriends.

_"Um nothing. I just wanted to, and I- umm don't nothing wrong if you umm." Becca stuttered, looking very much like she wanted to run far away and never look back._

_"See here missy!" __Mrs. Beale_ barked, ignoring her giggling daughter behind the tiny brunette. "This is the Beale household and you are to obey all Beale laws here. Upon that note, I find it to be a personal offense that you have not kissed your girlfriend while you are CLEARLY standing under the mistletoe! rectify this at once!"

_"Mistletoe, kissing, laws, wait what?" Beca said, trying desperately to keep up with everything._

_However, at that moment Chloe decided that she didn't feel like waiting any longer to kiss her girlfriend. Grabbing the brunette by the shoulder, Chloe brought her lips to Beca's and gave her a sweet kiss. Breaking away, __Mrs. Beale_ could see the absolute pure love and happiness that radiated out of both girls.

_Chuckling, __Mrs. Beale_ walked away thinking that she had just met her future daughter in law. And surprisingly? She was perfectly okay with that.

* * *

Sitting in Beca's room, Aubrey paced back and forth. Why the hell wasn't the hobbit waking up yet? According to doctors, there was no medical reason that Beca shouldn't be waking up. There fore, Beca was just being to irksome, selfish bitch she was.

"Beca Mitchell!" Aubrey barked. "I know you can hear me. Now wake the fuck up before I beat your whiny ass into the next century."

For a moment, Aubrey looked at Beca's face almost expecting Beca's eyes to be open. However, as one would expect, nothing had changed. Beca's eyes were still closed, her chest rose and fell gently with each breath, and in the background, the heart monitor still beeped out proof of Beca's life.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Aubrey mumbled to herself.

I mean honestly, did she REALLY expect Beca to get up when she told her to? Did she really expect Beca to jump when she said jump? Chloe had been begging Beca to wake up for the past three days with no luck. What could possibly made Aubrey think that she would be to get Beca up when Chloe's pleas had done nothing!

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Aubrey cursed to herself, as she sat down into Chloe's chair.

But that was it, wasn't it! Suddenly, as though the veil had been parted and Aubrey could see things clearly once more, the answer came to her. Chloe pleaded with Beca, asked her, begged her to wake up. Never once did she demand it of Beca, and Aubrey knew from experience that getting Beca to do something she didn't want to was nearly impossible. Begging and pleading had no effect. One had to be firm and demand it if they wanted Beca to do something. How often during Bella's rehearsals did Aubrey have to put the fear of God into the tiny brunette to get her to run laps or go over choreography?

"Beca Mitchell, this is Aubrey Posen." Aubrey said formally, feeling slightly foolish.

Still no response. However, Aubrey would not be deterred. She was doing this for Chloe, so who gave a fuck if she looked like a complete idiot barking orders to a comatose person? if it would help Chloe and Beca, Aubrey would put a giant chicken costume on and go dance around times square. Hopefully this would suffice though.

"Mitchell, wake your lazy ass up right now! I have a hysterical ginger out in the waiting room who's been pining over you for the past year, and now its just pissing me off!" Aubrey barked. "For God's sake Beca why didn't you eve just come visit? I know for a fact that you have my address! This entire thing could have been avoided if SOMEONE would have just told me what the hell was going on! But that is no longer the point. Beca for serious, how the HELL could you believe for one second that Chloe ever stopped loving you? It fucking killed her every time you wrote, texted, or called her and she couldn't write back to you!"

Still no response, but did Aubrey REALLY expect Beca to jump when she said jump. With a sigh, Aubrey got back up and began to pace back and forth in the small hospital room. Wracking her brain for something else to say, another idea hit Aubrey.

"Mitchell, wake your ass up right now!" Aubrey barked. "You spent all of your time thinking of why Chloe left you, and did it ever cross your pea sized brain that maybe she left for your own good? I talked to your father, and apparently, you think that Chloe and I are together. Are you for serious? I'm not even gay! So, if you can hear me, and I know you can, Chloe and I? we were never together. Ever. Do you even know why Chloe left you? According to Warren, Chloe never told you so I suppose I have to tell you.

Dropping her voice a bit, Aubrey sat back down. After all, what she was about to say next wasn't something that she really wanted to broadcast to the entire hospital.

"Beca..." Aubrey said quietly, choking down a few sobs. "Chloe was raped two weeks before your anniversary. She never told anyone but me, and she begged me to not tell you. However, that's not the reason she left you. Beca, Chloe had that bastards child. When she left you, she was pregnant and didn't want to burden you with her problems. She knew that you would have stayed and put your life on hold to take care of her and the child, and she didn't want that for you, so, she was impulsive and decided that breaking your heart would be the better alternative. I don't agree with her method, but Beca, you need to wake up now and go help you girlfriend, your fiancee right now. She's in a dark place too, and she needs you Beca."

Still no response, however, Aubrey was too spent at the moment to care. Laying her head down, Aubrey just let silent tears fall. Everything was just too much at the moment.

However with her head bowed, Aubrey didn't notice Beca's eyelids flutter above her and then finally snap open to reveal a previously hidden pair of steel blue eyes...

* * *

_Beca sat naked in the middle of the floor crying. Only a few minutes ago did the horrible not Chloe monster finally leave, leaving her bloody and beaten on the ground. Sobbing, Beca dragged herself back into her corner and curled herself back into a ball. Wincing a bit as the movement made each of the lashes and whip marks on her back sting, Beca bowed her head and cried again.  
_

_"Chloe..." Beca whispered to herself._

_Why was this happening? She had loved Chloe, still did really. Chloe was her everything, her anchor to reality. Now that she was gone, Beca was floating away into space, falling deeper and deeper into madness and despair. Why did she have to go? What had Beca done to make Chloe-_

_"Beca Mitchell!" a voice that sounded suspiciously like Aubrey's barked. "I know you can hear me. Now wake the fuck up before I beat your whiny ass into the next century."_

_Whipping her head up in fear, Beca found Aubrey now in the room pacing back and forth like a caged lion. However, oddly enough it seemed as though Aubrey didn't notice that Beca was sitting there, though Beca sure a shit wasn't going to complain. The not Chloe monster just kicked her ass. She really wasn't looking forward to a repeat._

_Straining to hear what the Aubrey figure was saying, Beca was able to just make you her muttering the word 'stupid' over and over to herself._

_"Bree?" Beca croaked._

_For some reason, Beca wasn't afraid. Despite every past experience telling her that this was a bad idea, Beca got up. As she stood up, and ray of brilliant white light came down and bathed Beca in its glow. When the light died away, Beca found the her battered body was now unmarked, and the she had a sparkling white gown, almost like a wedding dress, on._

_Whipping around, the Aubrey figure turned and walked until she was directly in front of Beca. She was so close to Beca that Beca could see the little golden flecks that were in Aubrey's emerald eyes and could see each eye lash that sat on Aubrey's eyes, could see her perfect white teeth, every fine detail to Aubrey's face._

_"Mitchell, wake your ass up right now!" Aubrey barked._

_"Wake up?" Beca asked, finding that strangely she had no fear for once. "I can't though!"_

_ "You spent all of your time thinking of why Chloe left you, and did it ever cross your pea sized brain that maybe she left for your own good?" Aubrey continued, as though she couldn't hear Beca. But then again, she never did listen to her when they were Bellas, so why would she now? _

_"I talked to your father, and apparently, you think that Chloe and I are together. Are you for serious? I'm not even gay! So, if you can hear me, and I know you can, Chloe and I? we were never together. Ever. Do you even know why Chloe left you? According to Warren, Chloe never told you so I suppose I have to tell you."_

_"Tell me what?" Beca begged_

_Her head swam from all of this new information, and her heart sang. Aubrey and Chloe weren't together! Chloe still loved her! But then that also brought about the next question. What had happened to Chloe? What possibly could have happened that would have made Chloe leave her when she swore she never would,_

_Stepping away, Aubrey sat down and placed her head in her hands and cried softly. Walking over to Aubrey, Beca sat down next to Aubrey. _

_"Aubrey, what happened?" Beca asked._

_"Beca..." Aubrey said quietly "Chloe was raped two weeks before your anniversary. She never told anyone but me, and she begged me to not tell you. However, that's not the reason she left you. Beca, Chloe had that bastards child. When she left you, she was pregnant and didn't want to burden you with her problems. She knew that you would have stayed and put your life on hold to take care of her and the child, and she didn't want that for you, so, she was impulsive and decided that breaking your heart would be the better alternative. I don't agree with her method, but Beca, you need to wake up now and go help you girlfriend, your fiancee right now. She's in a dark place too, and she needs you Beca."_

_It was as though all the air in the room had left. Chloe had been raped? AND she had a child now? She had to get up! She had to wake up! Chloe needed her help, and all Beca was doing was wallowing in her own self pity!_

_"CHLOE!" Beca yelled _

_Running over to the window where Chloe and Aubrey first appeared to her, Beca beat against the glass. Slowly, blow after blow, miniscule cracks began to appear in the glass until all at once, the glass finally shattered, and Beca was able to walk out of the room..._

* * *

**aaaaand Cliffhanger! MWAHAHAHAHA! I is evil. You know you love me though, so don't even try and deny it :) Now, as promised, to everyone who revied, I shall do my best to answer all questions.  
**

**Sam: thank you very much. This isn't betaed, and I know that no matter what I do, there will be some mistakes here and there! Thank you for pointing this out to me! I'll do my best to change this.**

**Guesti Guess: Send me your address and I'll send you the money, lol. In all fairness though I DID warn you that I'm writing this with the expressed purpose of making everyone cry. I do hope it is slightly inspirational though. Take it from someone who's been in a dark place. Your one action will have consequences far beyond what you though it would. Sorry if this chapter made you cry though!  
**

**cxcxcx386: My dear, do not blush. I shout out to you because you are aca-awesome. Aubrey's secret is exactly that. Aubrey's secret. So shh! You shall see what happens. All good things come to those who wait!**

**lc16: Thank you so much for reading! Tell the people on the bus I say hi! :)**

**whatizthiz: I get a Marching band? SWEET! For that, you get a new chapter :) I'm sorry that this fic made you need to take a breather and just let it all out, but that's actually kind of the point. Learn from these characters and apreciate what you have. Don't jump to conclusions and try and see what is really there. Don't be mad at everyone though! You see everything, and know everyone's inner demons. The characters do not. Pretend that you only know what Aubrey or Warren knows, and then pretend that you had to deal with all they had to. Then get back to me on how you feel.**

**Msweeney: Damn you for guessing what happens next! lol, I'm just kidding. I'm glad that you're enjoying the fic! I swear all loose ends will be tied up in the end. And your not suppose to hate Chloe! She got raped! Cut her a bit of slack! PEOPLE! And yes, as you all probably know, Warren and Chloe will have a heart to heart. It was suppose to be a surprise, but since clever people seem to know what I do before I do things... Have your box of tissues handy.**

**Cheycon15: PREEMPTIVE QUESTION! HA! I answered you question this before I even read your review! No worries! Do you really think I'd let a baby be alone in New York? I mean honestly XD**

**Iwillforgetthisl8er: Thanks for telling me that. Sometime, as the author, I don't know if I'm spewing utter shit or if things are actually true. **

**To everyone else: BECA WOKE UP! HAPPY? Yes. The thing you've all been nagging me about has finally happened. Cheer, applaud, and if you want, ask what happens next, but like I said before, all things happen on MY terms. If you don't like how this happened, tell me, but I've been planning this since Chap 3, so yes, I do already have everything else finally planned out.**


	9. Let it go

**Greetings mortals! I have returned. Cue the trumpets! So yes. Beca's awake now. But do you really think everything's going to be all happy and lovey now? Mortals, do you know me? What even? We still have a shit ton of stuff left. And before everything is over, someone, or everyone shall die. So deep breath everyone, and now let's go! Lots more tears to be shed before I'm done. *evil grin***

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, and I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

**Let It Go**

_Let it go, let it go_  
_ Can't hold it back anymore_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Turn my back and slam the door_

_ The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,_  
_ Not a footprint to be seen._  
_ A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen._  
_ The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside._  
_ Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried._

_ Don't let them in, don't let them see,_  
_ Be the good girl you always had to be._  
_ Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know._  
_ Well now they know._

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Can't hold it back anymore_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Turn my back and slam the door_  
_ And here I stand and here I'll stay_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ The cold never bothered me anyway_

_ It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small_  
_ And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all._  
_ Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe._  
_ I know I left a life behind but I'm too relieved to grieve._

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Can't hold it back anymore_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Turn my back and slam the door_  
_ And here I stand, and here I'll stay_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ The cold never bothered me anyway_

_ Standing frozen_  
_ In the life I've chosen._  
_ You won't find me._  
_ The past is all behind me_  
_ Buried in the snow._

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Can't hold it back anymore_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Turn my back and slam the door_  
_ And here I stand, and here I'll stay_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ The cold never bothered me anyway, yeah, whoa_  
_ Let it go_  
_ Na, na, here I stand, let it go, let it go, oh_  
**_ Let it go_**

* * *

"CHLOE!" Aubrey yelled as she rushed into the waiting room.

Startled, Chloe fell of of the chairs she had been peacefully sleeping on only moments before. Banging her head on the ground, Chloe groaned in pain. Had the situation been different, had Aubrey not been running out to tell Chloe that Beca was waking up, she would have found this comical. However, in this situation, she was rushing to tell Chloe that Beca was waking up, so instead she found this to be an irritating waste of time.

"For serious Chloe!" Aubrey said, impatiently gesturing for Chloe to get up. "Get up!"

Sitting up, Chloe rubbed her head. "Geeze Bree! I'm up, I'm up! Will you-"

"Beca's waking up!" Aubrey shouted, exasperated. "NOW MOVE!"

Chloe mouth hung open in shock. For a few seconds, Chloe just stood there, gaping, not quite able to wrap her mind around the words that just tumbled from Aubrey's mouth. In her sleepy state it seemed that all she could do was gape and blink her eyes in shock.

"She's up?" Chloe whispered, still shocked.

"Yes! Now let's gooooo" Aubrey said, pushing Chloe towards Beca's room.

However, this soon became unnecessary. Soon, the situation registered in Chloe's sleep deprived mind, and immediately, Chloe jumped to life. Pulling away from Aubrey's grasp, Chloe full out sprinted towards the room Beca was in.

Satisfied that Chloe was finally in gear and would no longer require assistance, Aubrey shuffled into the waiting room yawning. She'd been up for most of the night watching over Beca, and now she was quite tired. However, as she surveyed the room before her to find a seat, she was shocked to find one Warren Mitchell still in his seat. Walking over cautiously, Aubrey took a seat next to his.

"Hey." She said softly, "Are you alright?"

"I don't know." Warren sighed.

"Why aren't you in with Beca?" Aubrey asked. "She's waking up now you know. I'm sure she'll want to see her father."

"I don't think so." Warren said sadly. "I think she'll want to see Chloe. Don't worry, I'll speak with her later, but for now, I think that Chloe and Beca need some time alone."

Aubrey was about to protest, however instead of saying something, she instead shut her mouth and just sat next to Warren in silence. What was there to say? He was probably right. As wrong as it was, it was likely that Beca would only want to see Aubrey hated seeing her friend in that room with Beca instead of her father, she could respect the man's reasoning. Beca and Chloe did need their time together. She just prayed that Chloe was using this time wisely.

With a sigh, Aubrey let her head rest upon the back of the chair. Closing her eyes, Aubrey slowly let herself drift off to sleep. She'd had her fill of drama for the day.

* * *

Before Chloe barged into Beca's room, she stopped herself and forced herself to calm down. For a minute, she stood outside Beca's door, plagued with self doubt. Should she really go in there? Shouldn't Warren be the first to speak with her? What if Beca didn't want to talk to her? What was she suppose to say? Did Beca remember or hear anything Chloe had said while she was in that room with her?

"Pull it together Beale..." Chloe whispered to herself. She could totes do this... Right?

Pushing the door open, Chloe walked into the room. To her surprise, she found Beca sitting up in bed cursing at all the wires and machines that she was hooked up to.

"God fucking damn mother fuckers." Beca mumbled to herself as she ripped wire off of herself, completely oblivious to the red head in the room. "Shut the fuck up and get off-"

"Hey..." Chloe said softly to get Beca's attention. What was she even suppose to say?

Looking up, Beca completely froze, whatever she was going to say next lost. As Chloe took a tentative a step forward, Beca sprang into action. With a scream, Beca tried to turn away and run, however, because she was in a bed, she was unable to do much. Turning around, Beca looked at Chloe with what could only be described as absolute fear in her eyes.

"GO AWAY!" Beca screamed holding her hands in front of her face. "PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! MONSTER! PLEASE! GO AWAY!"

Shocked, Chloe stepped back, though she didn't leave the room. What the hell was happening? In all of the hypothetical scenarios she had played out in her mind for when Beca woke up, Beca screaming and crying hysterically wasn't one of them. Not even in her worst case scenario did Chloe see Beca screaming at her calling her a monster ever occur. Sure, she never expected Beca to just welcome her back with open arms, but this? Never in her wildest dreams.

"Beca, shh, please no one's going to hurt you..." Chloe said, holding her hands up in surrender. "I promise I won't leave you. please just-"

"MOM! DAD! AUBREY! PLEASE ANYONE!" Beca screamed. "SOME ONE! PLEASE! HELP ME! NEVER AGAIN! MONSTER! MONSTER! LEAVE!"

Backing out of the door, Chloe bumped right into the nurses that were currently rushing into Beca's room.

"Move!" the lead nurse barked. Startled, Chloe backed her way into the corner of the room. In her bed, Beca was thrashing about, screaming and yelling obscenities at will. As Chloe pushed her way further into the corner, willing herself to be smaller, to not be there, a nurse suddenly appeared in front of her.

"What happened?" The woman barked.

"What?" Chloe asked, panicked. "I don't know? I came in, and Beca seemed fine. Then she saw me, and then she just went berserk! Please!" Chloe was sobbing at this point "Please help her!"

"Miss, you need to leave the room now." The nurse said, roughly grabbing Chloe's arm steering her towards the door..

"What's happening?" Chloe asked, resisting the woman pushing her out of the room. She couldn't just leave right now. Not with Beca thrashing about.

Pushing Chloe out of the room, the nurse instead just grunted and slammed the door in her face. For a minute, Chloe almost began to pound on the door and demand that she be let back in, but then Aubrey walked in behind her.

"Chloe!" Aubrey said, "What's going on? I heard shouting and-"

Chloe's sobs interrupted Aubrey's worried rant. Turning around, Chloe flung herself onto the blond and began to sob uncontrollably in her shoulder.

"Shhh..." Aubrey said as Chloe's tears ran down onto her shirt. "Chlo. I got you."

"She hates me." Chloe choked out, as tears poured down her face.

One would think that in the past few days she would have run out of tears to cry, but no. Big fat tears continued to pour out of her eyes as all of the pain from Beca's rejection and the fear that she had indeed lost Beca cascaded out of her in the for of hot salty tears.

"Shhh..." Aubrey said, holding her broken friend close. "She doesn't hate you Chlo. I'm sure she was just disoriented or something. She doesn't hate you."

"Sh-she does!" Chloe wailed. "She's afraid of me Bree. And I deserve all of it. I'm a terrible person. I've lose her Bree!"

"No you're not." Aubrey said, trying to calm the hysterical ginger. "A little lacking in the common sense department yes. But a terrible person? No Chloe. Never. Look at me."

Pulling away from Aubrey's shoulder, Chloe looked up with watery eyes to meet her friends striking emerald green ones.

"Chloe, you are not a terrible person." Aubrey said firmly "You have no idea what was going on in Beca's mind while she was in that coma. I'm sure she was just afraid and confused when she woke up, alright? Now, we need to go back into the waiting room now, okay? And then we're going to sit there until a nurse comes back and tells us what the fuck is going on. Kay?"

Sniffling, Chloe did her best to try and calm herself down. Allowing Aubrey to guide her out of the hospital hall and back to the waiting room, Chloe did her best to try and sort out what just happened. As Aubrey guided her to an empty seat, Chloe refused to look up and meet Mr. Mitchell's gaze. What was she even suppose to say? As she felt Aubrey's hand leave her arm, Chloe began to panick once more.

"Wait, Bree." Chloe said, catching Aubrey's hand "Stay... Please."

Aubrey was about to refuse, to tell Chloe that she had to go ensure that all was in order, and to get them clothes for the next few days. However, upon seeing the vulnerability and fear that consumed Chloe's eyes, Aubrey instead chose to sat down next to Chloe.

"Sure." Aubrey said, sitting back down.

"I know you have Aubrey stuff to do, but please, Just stay here for a little while longer." Chloe yawned.

Biting her lip to hold back a laugh, Aubrey instead just put an arm around Chloe's head that was now resting in the crook of her shoulder. Snuggling close to the blonde, Chloe soon was snoring softly by her side. The past few days had taken their toll on her, and now adding this into the mix, the red head's nerves must have been fried at this point.

"She's really hard to stay mad at." Warren said softly.

Startled, Aubrey looked up to see Warren indicating to the slumbering woman in her arms.

"Yeah..." Aubrey sighed, as Chloe clung to Aubrey like a baby monkey. "She's just one of those, you know?"

"I do." Warren said, nodding his head. "I really should hate her, resent her at the minimum, but try as I might, I can't. I mean, look at where we are right now! My daughter tried to kill herself because of her, and then was in a fucking coma for a week because of her, and I still can't hate her. She's just so sincere about everything, so naive, I feel like i should pity her or something. And I suppose to some degree I do. She did get raped after all, and no person deserves that. I suppose to, if i try and remove myself from the situation, I do understand her reasoning for leaving. While I do believe that she should have let Beca choose how she wants to live her life. But for the life of me, I still cannot condone her leaving, but I can neither condemn her. It would make things so much easier if i could just hate her."

Her, Warren ran a harried hand through his hair. It was quite evident that the past year had been hard on the man. Streaks of grey now streaked his hair, and hard line etched their way into his skin. Idly, Aubrey wondered how much energy he had spent trying to hate Chloe.

"Then don't." Aubrey said simply.

"Don't what?" Warren asked, confused.

"Don't bother trying to hate her." Aubrey clarified. Seeing Warren begin to protest, Aubrey raised a hand to stop him. "Warren, I truly understand where you are coming from. My best friend has literally shattered your daughter. I get that. You would be a horrible parent if you didn't have some resentment towards her. Hell, I doubt that you would be human if you did not. However, If I have learned anything in my years, it is that sometimes you just need to let somethings go. Holding onto hate wasting your energy on trying to hate some one? Its all just that. A waste. Hate is such an ugly emotion. it consumes the hater more then the hatee. Though it is difficult, you just need to learn how to let things go. Focus on the past rather then the future, and you'll never go forward. Focus on the future and you then nothing will be able to stand in your way."

For a second, Warren just stared at Aubrey, stunned. Then he broke out in an ear splitting grin. "Damn Aubrey. How old are you? You my dear have gained wisdom far beyond your years."

Laughing softly, Aubrey chose to simply gaze down at the woman below her rather then answer. Laughing to herself, Aubrey couldn't help but to think about how true those words were, and how hard she fought, still fought to be able to learn these words, to believe these words. But like she said, hate was such an ugly emotion. All she had to do was look at her legs to see proof of this. How many lives were torn apart or taken because of hate? So then why do people bother with it? Because they are people. They are human, and because of this, they choose to hate, to choose destruction over harmony. It is the very bane of our existence as well as our driving force.

"Aubrey Posen?" A nurse called into the waiting room, disrupting Aubrey's thoughts.

Looking up, confused, Aubrey detangeled herself from Chloe and then got up.

"Yes?" Aubrey asked.

"Are you Aubrey Posen?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, I am she." Aubrey said, confused.

"Beca Mitchell would like to speak with you."

"Excuse me?" Aubrey asked.

"Beca Mitchell would like to speak with you." The nurse said, looking exceedingly bored. "Now please follow me."

"But I'm not family!" Aubrey protested. "Shouldn't her father see her first."

"Look lady." The nurse said, obviously annoyed that this conversation had been going on for as long as it had been "I'm just relaying orders, alright? Miss Mitchell specifically asked for you when the sedative wore off, and the doctors just told me to come get you. So now please, If you could follow me, it would be greatly appreciated."

Still confused, Aubrey allowed the nurse to lead her to Beca's room. Why the aca-hell was Beca MITCHELL asking for her?

* * *

Stepping into the room, Aubrey softly closed the door behind her, doing her best to keep noise to a minimum.

"What, no slamming doors this time?" Beca smirked. "I'm disappointed."

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey shot back teasingly. "I'm trying to be nice here. if you'd rather, I could start barking orders again. I could make you run a few laps or something if you'd rather."

"No thanks I'm good." Beca laughed. "Plus i don't think that you'd be allowed to do that anyway. Have you met the bitchy nurse yet? She literally threatened to sedate me again if I tried to get up!"

Laughing Aubrey pulled up a chair to the side of the bed.

"Oh please Mitchell." Aubrey laughed as she took a seat. "I know what you called me back in our college days. Do you really think some nurse has anything on the aca-Nazi?"

Beca paled a bit at that. "Shit, you knew about that?"

"Of course I did. I know everything you know." Aubrey said tapping her temple. "Did you really think that you could put anything past me?"

"I suppose not." Beca huffed. "Though I bet you sold your soul to the devil or something."

"Oh Beca," Aubrey laughed. "I did that YEARS ago. That's elementary school shit."

"Aubrey Posen! Did you just use a swear word?" Beca asked, in mock shock.

"Indeed I did." Aubrey laughed. "Believe it or not, do swear on occasion."

Laughing, the tow girls just sat there for a moment, enjoying the pleasant break in the dark cloud that had been surrounding them over the past few days. However, they both knew that eventually this break would have to end. Though Aubrey was loathe to do this, she knew it had to be done. As the laughter died down, Aubrey's expression turned serious.

"Beca, I know that you didn't invite me back here to simply joke around and exchange pleasantries." Aubrey said. "Now, are you going to tell me what's going on, or are we just going to pretend that we're not in a hospital and everything's perfectly fine. Because we could do that, but something tells me you don't want to.

Beca sigh and ran a hand through her hair. For a moment, neither girl said anything, both lost in their own thoughts. Just as Aubrey began to entertain the thought that maybe Beca really didn't want to talk, Beca spoke up.

"Aubrey?" Beca whispered quietly, as though she was afraid someone was listening in.

"Yeah?" Aubrey said.

"I need to ask you something, and you need to promise that you won't tell anyone, alright?"

"Scout's honor." Aubrey said, raising a hand.

"Seriously Aubrey!" Beca said, anger and maybe a bit of fear, now flashing in her eyes. Grabbing Aubrey's arm, it seemed like the air around Beca was suddenly super charged. "I need to know that I can trust you!"

"Alright, I promise!" Aubrey said quickly, concerned By Beca's tone of voice, and the sense urgency that seemed to ooze out of her.

Relaxing a bit, Beca let go of Aubrey's arm, however, she was still exceedingly edgy and agitated.

"When I was in that coma, it was like I was in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from." Beca began, closing her eyes. "It was weird. You were there sometimes. But you weren't you either, if that makes sense. Chloe was there a lot. But it wasn't her either. She was this monstrous creature that at the moment, I really don't want to talk about. But, back to the point at hand, the room I was in was dark, except for this window where Chloe and you would appear, and I'd have to watch the two of you be happy together and mock me."

Seeing Aubrey about to interrupt her, Beca raised her hand, as though she was quieting the woman. This was something Aubrey had to know.

"It sucked, but that's not the point." Beca said, continuing. "The weird thing was, you were the one that woke me up."

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Yeah." Beca said, laughing a bit. "It was really strange. You suddenly appeared in the room and started reaming me out, telling me to stop being such an ass and to wake the fuck up. At first, I didn't get it, you know? The only time you were there was when you were with Chlo, but then you just showed up and began to talk to me. You told me that you and Chloe weren't together, and then I dunno. I was able to break through and wake up, if that makes any sense."

"Yeah..." Aubrey said distantly, still shocked.

"Aubrey, is everything you told me true?" Beca asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Aubrey asked.

"In my dream, nightmare, or whatever you want to call it, you told me a number of things. " Beca said. "If you did actually tell me this, then you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, then we can just forget this, and you can leave."

"Holy shit." Aubrey whispered. "You heard what I told you?"

"I think so." Beca said. "Its weird and all, I know, but that's not important right now. Is everything true?"

"Yeah." Aubrey said. "Everything."

"So you and Chloe...?" Beca asked.

"NOOOOO!" Aubrey laughed. "I'm not even gay."

"Darn." Beca said, feigning disappointment. "And I was hoping you could join Chloe and I sometime, like some hot third edition to our relationship."

"Sorry, but that's never gonna happen." Aubrey laughed. "I have a boyfriend and everything."

"Fiiiiiiiinne." Beca huffed. "Have you ever been with a girl though? You never know. I could-"

"Enough!" Aubrey said. "I really don't need to know this. No I am not gay, no Chloe and I are not together, and no we never will be. Happy?"

"No." Beca said simply, her expression suddenly turning serious. "So if that's all true, then Chloe?"

"Yeah." Aubrey said, biting her lip. "Chloe left, not because she didn't love you, because of that."

"THAT'S NOT RIGHT!" Beca growled, angry, "That wasn't her decision to make! She should have told me, should have let me help! Instead she left me after fucking SHATTERING my heart! Its not right-"

"Beca!" Aubrey barked, cutting her angry tirade off. "What part of raped, pregnant and scared don't you get?"

"THAT PART WHERE SHE LEFT ME!" Beca roared. "I-"

"BECA!" Aubrey shouted, silencing the younger girl. "SHE LEFT BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING! Alright? I most certainly don't agree with her methods, but Beca, you need to realize, she was fucking scared! She had just been RAPED and then she found out she was pregnant! For Christ's sake Beca, she was trying to protect you! She knew that you would drop everything to try and provide for her, and she didn't want that! Can you Fucking understand that, or are you to caught up in your own fucking problems to not get it? Because if that's the case, I'm going to take Chloe back to New York with me until you fucking get this."

"Fine." Beca mumbled, deflated. "I just- Its hard, you know?"

"I do know." Aubrey said softly. "You just need to let it go though."

"I can't though!" Beca sighed, "Chloe was my everything you know. I loved her and then she just left! What makes it worse though, is that I though she was with you, and left me because I wasn't good enough."

"I know, believe me." Aubrey said, "We all tend to focus on the what, rather then the why. Look at the why's rather then the what's and then, maybe things will be a little easier."

"What?" Beca asked, scrunching her face up.

"No, why." Aubrey smirked.

"No, I got that, but huh?" Beca asked.

"You focus on what happened." Aubrey clarified.

"Yeah, because it happened!" Beca exclaimed, "I'm just-"

"Exactly. it happened. Emphasis on the ed at the end." Aubrey cut in. "Let the past be the past."

"But I can't!" Beca sighed. "How am I suppose to ignore the fact that she left me!"

"Focus on WHY she left you." Aubrey said, "I know that she left you, but remember that she left you to try and protect you. Can she be forgiven for that?"

"No! She, but I-" Beca snapped, however, the more she thought about it, the harder it was to find fault in Chloe. "Damn you Posen." Beca growled, "Why do you always have to be right?"

"Because I'm a Posen." Aubrey laughed, "No, because I've learned all these lessons the hard way. I've made the same mistakes."

"What?" Beca asked, pretending to be shocked, "Miss Aubrey Posen, Miss Perfection herself, actually made a mistake before? Miss Posen, I'm utterly gobsmacked!"

"Perfection isn't about never making mistakes." Aubrey said seriously. "Its about realizing that you will make mistakes, and that you cannot avoid this. Its about learning from these mistakes and then moving on."

For a minute, Beca was silent, pondering this new information. Together, Aubrey and Beca sat in comfortable silence, before Beca finally spoke up once more.

"Thanks Bree, for everything." Beca laughed quietly

"What are you thanking me for?" Aubrey said, looking genuinely confused.

"For kicking my ass into gear?" Beca suggested. "For making me see why rather then what? I dunno. Everything really."

"I suppose then, in that case, your welcome." Aubrey smiled. "Now, if you really want to thank me, go talk to the crying ginger out there."

Beca paled. "Wait, you want me to go talk to Chloe now?"

"Yes Mitchell." Aubrey said, rolling her eyes. "Now would be good. You kinda freaked her out with the whole screaming and monster thing."

"About that..." Beca said sheepishly.

"No more excuses." Aubrey said, as she got up. "I'm going to send Chloe in after me, and If she runs out crying, you better pray you go back into another coma Mitchell."

Turning around before Beca had an chance to answer, Aubrey paused by the door.

"And Mitchell, just because my back is turned doesn't mean that I can't see you glaring at me!"

With that said, Aubrey slammed the door behind her, leaving a rather panicked and shocked Beca Mitchell behind her.

* * *

**AAAAAAANNNND DONE! So, good bad, what? I know, semi cliff hanger, but this chapter was already getting rather long, and I thought that Beca and Chloe needed a chapter to themselves. So yeah. ON TO YOU GUYS!**

**cxcxcx386: awww! you say the nicest things. I play favorites, and now you're my favorite reviewer... Actually, you've been my fave, but whatevs. And no. Beca's shit isn't over yet. My friend, the world of the living is the scariest place there is.**

**happygolucky: Thank you! Aubrey's character seems almost too perfect most times. HA! Now she's a real person.**

**Karen: NOOOO! Don't be embarassed! I loved your review, and I love you too! I'm glad that you enjoy my fic, and that you have chosen to read my fic, despite its unfinished status! I'm glad that your reading, and I suppose you don't have to leave more reviews... I do like reviews though. They make me happy :)**

**iwillforgetthisl8er: I did say plot twist ya know... And that's the point my friend. This fic is suppose to teach everyone something. Know that behind every happy smile, there lies a dark secret. Often, the person that you'd never think it from is the one carrying the heaviest burden.**

**bechloehuh: Wow... YOU READ MY FIC! *embarrassing little happy dance* Okay, we good. Thank you so much for reviewing. The sheer fact that you read this is enough for me. lol... Keep saying shit like that though, and I might actually believe you!**

**To everyone else and Ic16: Yes, Beca woke up. SEE? HA! Like I said, this all happens on my terms. Keep guessing as to what you think is going to happen. I like to hear your ideas and predictions. I have most of the plot line done already though. But still, review and tell me what you think!**


	10. Just like that

**Ello Mortals! Your immortal has arrived, and she comes baring good news. Yes, Chloe now gets to have her heart to heart with Beca without screaming Monster at her. Note I did NOT say that there wouldn't be screaming. I mean really guys. Its like you don't even know me...**

**As a side note, because I saw it in a review, Y'alls are welcome for the gazillion updates. However, I feel the need to warn you all, that my schedule is going to pick up soon, so updates really are going to start coming fewer and farther between. I don't even have time to write on weekends.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

Chloe paced back and forth in the waiting room as Aubrey and Beca talked. What the hell could they even be talking about? I mean, they'd been in there for fifteen minutes already, and Chloe still had yet to hear from anyone. On the bright side, Aubrey hadn't come out of the room crying... But then again, this was Aubrey. Aubrey never cried. She was like a one of those funny British guards; stoic and precise. Chloe would bet that if Beca started to scream at her, she'd give it right back to Beca using her 'scary motivational captain' voice. But still. It had been fifteen minutes already and-

"You know, if you keep pacing like that you're going to wear a hole through the floor."

Turning around, Chloe was surprised to find one Warren Mitchell smirking at Chloe's nervous pacing. Taking a seat, Chloe instead opted to nervously wring her hands.

"Sorry." Chloe said tersely.

She really didn't need this right now. She got that Warren and maybe even Beca hated her right now. Believe me, she got that. Hell, she didn't even blame them for that, because to be quite honest, they should hate her. She was such a BITCH in the way that she left Beca, that she would be surprised if Beca even would talk to her.

"No need." Warren chuckled. "Chloe, I know this is hard, but try and relax a bit. All the pacing in the world won't make Beca and Aubrey be done any faster.

However, try as she might, Chloe could not relax. The situation with Beca and her current relationship, or there lack of with Warren made Chloe exceedingly uneasy. Add to the fact that now Warren was being somewhat nice to her? It was a wonder that Chloe didn't spontaneously combust. She was a relatively simple girl. She liked things to be nice and easy for her. If some didn't like her, great. Let them act in such a manner. Just let her know that you don't like her and then act that way. She _really _hated the whole frenemy bullshit.

"With all due respect Mr. Mitchell," Chloe said, "At the moment, I don't really think I can."

Laughing, Warren just motioned for Chloe to sit net to him. Slowly, Chloe made her way over to the indicated seat and gingerly sat down on the very edge of the seat. Keeping her head bowed, Chloe refused to meet Warren's eye, rather instead pretended to find some spot on her hand exceedinly interesting.

"Chloe," Warren said. "I think that its no big surprise that I'm not your biggest fan right now. However, try as I might, I cannot hate you, and under the advice of our very own Aubrey Posen, I'm done trying."

Surprised Chloe looked up, finally meeting Warren's eye. As she was about to protest, Warren began to speak once more.

"You know, your friend Aubrey's really quite the clever woman. She's certainly the definition of wise beyond her years." Warren said, a small smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. "I really wanted to hate you to you know. I mean, you absolutely shattered Beca. You had built her up as high as she could be, only to to tear her down mercilessly. And to be perfectly honest, for a while I really did hate you. I hoped that some sort of calamity would befall you and Aubrey and that you might feel at least an iota of the pain you caused my daughter."

"Mr. Mitchell, I-" Chloe began, trying to apologize. However, Warren waved her off.

"Don't worry, I know your reasons." Warren said. "While I may not like what you did, I can certainly understand why you did what you did. As certain facts were brought to light, and as I spoke with Aubrey more, I realized that you truly are not the monster I made you out to be in my mid. Chloe, a terrible thing happened to you, and in a moment of fear, you panicked and acted upon instinct. I'm sure that you never knew that the consequences of your actions could be so wide spread. Like a bullet hitting a window, the place of impact was intended, however, the cracks and breaks that were caused from the initial impact could never have been planned for."

"Mr. Mitchell, I never-" Chloe tried again.

"I know." Warren said, smiling sadly. "You're such a sweet innocent girl Chloe. I think that's what Beca loved about you too. You're so happy and enthusiastic about life and you always try too see the best in everyone. Its cruelty in the highest degree that you were on the receiving end of such a brutal act of violence and had to deal with all that alone. However, before you attempt to interrupt me to apologize once more, don't. I am not the one you need to apologize to. I do not hate you, nor do I wish to see any more harm fall upon you. However, that does not mean that you are pardoned by me. To me, for the time being, you are dead to me. You are nothing more then a stranger to me, because the Chloe I knew would never have left when she swore to someone she loved that she would stay. Until you can make your peace with Beca, until Beca can say that she loves you once more, and no longer has to fear the day that you leave, I cannot see you as anything more then a stranger."

With that said, Warren Mitchell got up from his seat and turned to leave. However, before he had walked out the door, Chloe was standing.

"Wait!" she called after him.

Turning around, Warren paused to hear the red headed woman who he once thought would be his daughter-in-law had to say.

"I'm not going to make any excuses for myself, because there are none to be had." Chloe said. "I fucked up royally, and I intend to spend everyday for the rest of my life trying to make it up to your daughter if she'd give me the chance to. You're right, by the way. I was scared when I left. I wasn't thinking rationally, and in typical Chloe Beale fashion, I acted before I had really thought things through. I broke Beca's heart, and I can never forgive myself. I will apologize to you though, because my actions, my fears, hurt you to. You had to watch Beca fall, see her shattered, and for that, I am truly sorry. I never meant for anyone to be hurt, and I'm sorry for all the pain you suffered because of me."

"I know." Warren said sadly. "Though if you truly are sorry, you'll tell Beca this. Like I said, I'm not the one that needs to hear this."

With that said, Warren turned away and walked out the door. As Chloe made another move to go after him, she thought better of it. Lowering her hand Chloe sank back down into her chair. Warren was right. She needed to tell Beca this. With a sigh, Chloe got back up and began pacing once more. What the hell was Aubrey doing in there?

* * *

After what seemed like hours to her, Aubrey finally appeared into the doorway of the waiting room. Without waiting for Aubrey to say anything, Chloe practically pounced upon the blonde and immediately began grilling her on what just happened.

"Oh my God, you're back! Finally!" Chloe said, words tumbling out of her mouth. What took you so long? Why were you gone so long? What did you two talk about? Does Beca hate me? Oh my God, she probably does! I need to talk to her! Wait, does she even want to talk to me? I need-"

"Chloe!" Aubrey said, silencing the rambling ginger. "For serious. Get a grip!"

"Sorry!" Chloe said sheepishly. "I'm sorry. You were in there for a while, and I was worried. Then I had this big heart to heart with Mr. Mitchell, and Im just like reeeeaaaaallly on edge now, and I really need to talk to Beca, because I made a bunch of mistakes and-"

"CHLOE!" Aubrey shouted, commanding Chloe's attention once more. "For serious, breathe. Ready, in. Out. In. Out. In-"

"Aubrey!" Chloe said sharply, her patience long gone. "What were you and Beca talking about?"

Aubrey said nothing and instead shot one of her famous Aubrey Posen glares at the red head.

"Right, sorry." Chloe said.

"Mhm." Aubrey said, walking over to a seat. "Sure you are."

"I am!" Chloe said. "I'm an ass. I know. So can we pleeeeeaaaase...?"

"Fine!" Aubrey sighed, sitting down. "But first you need to calm down and stop acting like the hyperactive squirrel you usually are. I'm seriously way to tired to deal with that right now."

"Right, deal." Chloe said quickly. "Soooooo...?"

"Obviously we talked about you Chlo." Aubrey said. "Beca's got a few issues from when you left, and then her coma was basically one big nightmare, so the whole monster thing had nothing to do with you per say, but more wit remnants of her coma. She completely believed everything you told her up until like an hour ago when I told her the truth. Yes, the whole truth... Sort of. I don't think she knows about Baylie. I think you and her should talk about that one. Speaking of which, after you speak with Beca, you need t call her. I left Baylie with your mom before we left, and she's probably wondering about that, so you-"

"WHAT!" Chloe screeched, as she finally put two and two together. "YOU LEFT BAYLIE WITH MY MOM?!"

"She was the only one I could think of on such short notice." Aubrey said, completely unfazed by Chloe's obviously distress. "Have fun with that conversation too By the way Chloe. She doesn't know about anything, other then that you and Beca aren't together, and that Baylie is your daughter. So yeah. I think that's it... Wait, no, When you come back from talking with Beca, could you grab me a coffee? I'm really tired."

Chloe's mouth hung open. Chuckling, Aubrey reached a hand over and shut it for Chloe. Swatting Aubrey's hand away, Chloe glared at her.

"I'm very angry with you right now." Chloe huffed.

"You shouldn't be." Aubrey said, doing her best not to laugh. "I just talked to your girlfriend for you. And I also arranged for both of us to be here. Admit it. had I not arranged all of our preparations, you still would be in New York, picking out which shirt to pack."

"Not true!" Chloe huffed indignantly. However, seeing the amused look on Aubrey's face, Chloe relented. "Okay, so maaaaybe you're right. But you still didn't have to contract my MOM of all people!"

"First of all, of course I'm right. I'm a Posen Chloe. You know this." Aubrey smirked. "Secondly, yes, I did have to 'contract your mom' as you so eloquently put it. She was the only person I could think of off hand to babysit a newborn infant for an extended period of time without a lengthy conversation or paying a ridiculous sum of money."

For a minute, Chloe was tempt to argue, however, she knew that she had lost the second Aubrey had the maddening smirk on that just oozed the whole 'I'm right, you're wrong, and now you look like an imbecile' vibe. but that didn't mean that she had to just accept that, so did she? With a huff, Chloe turned her back away from Aubrey and crossed her arms. Sometimes Aubrey was a meanie.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Aubrey asked. Even though Chloe couldn't see Aubrey's face, she could freaking hear that smirk on her voice.

"Like a conversation with Beca?" Aubrey said, slowly as though she was talking to a small child.

"SHIT!" Chloe swore as she bolted up and ran to Beca's room.

With a sigh, Aubrey laid her head back against the uncomfortable seat. She really was quite tired out from the days' events. Fixing everyone else's lives really could tire a girl out. With a sigh, Aubrey sat up.

"I really hope Chloe brings me that coffee..." Aubrey said to no one in particular.

* * *

Chloe slowed her pace to a normal walk as she approached Beca's door. Once again, Chloe found herself riddled with self doubts once more. Laughing a bit to herself, Chloe couldn't help but to have a slight feeling of deja vu as she stood nervously before the door before her. In reality, the door really wasn't that scary. It was just a board of wood. However, Chloe really wasn't afraid of the door. She was afraid of the person and the conversation she had to have with said person behind the door. With a sigh, Chloe was about to barge into the room, before she thought better of it and instead raised her had into a fist and knocked.

_knock knock knock_

The knocking on the door startled Beca out of the worried trance she'd been in ever since Aubrey had left.

"Shit." Beca mumbled to herself.

Had Chloe come already? She wasn't ready for this! She wasn't ready to face Chloe, and she most certainly didn't want to talk to Chloe. No, she did want to talk to Chloe. She just didn't want to talk about all the heavy emotional shit. She was Beca fucking Mitchell for fuck's sake! everyone who knew her knew that she hated that bullshit ad much preferred to just roll with things and let emotions be implied. Aubrey had to yell at her to tell Chloe she loved her because Beca didn't want to say that! She soooooo wasn't ready for this and-

"Beca?" Beca heard her name be called softly from the object of her dreams and nightmares. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in!" Beca called out.

Steeling her nerves, Beca did her best to not scream or cry as Chloe slowly entered the room. Closing the door softly behind her, Chloe awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do next. Neither seemed to be ready to break the tensioned filled silence quite yet. Finally, though, Chloe spoke up.

"Hey." Chloe said softly, a shy smile adorning her beautiful face.

"Hey." Beca said softly. "You wanna take a seat?"

"Thank you." Chloe said politely, making her way the seat she sat in for the past three days.

For a minute, neither girl said anything, both too lost in their own thoughts to say anything to start the inevitable conversation. After all, what was there to say? Look at where they were for God's sake! Then add to the mix why they were there, the pressure and tension in the room could not have been worse. After a while though,as both girls sorted through their mixed feelings, their own fears concerns, the silence became one of awkward unease rather then unspoken tension.

"God Chloe..." Beca sighed, breaking the silence. "What happened to us?"

"I was an ass and left you." Chloe said simply. Oh Chloe. One could always rely on her to be brutally honest.

"Yeah, but still..." Beca said "The two of us use to be able to talk for hours about nothing. Now look at us. Its almost like a competition to see who can make this the most awkward.""

Chloe laughed. "Well we both know that's a competition I would win hands down.

"Oh really?" Beca challenged, "Because I'm a pretty awkward person."

"Please!" Chloe scoffed. "I have no filter and don't know the meaning of the word personal boundaries."

"So?" Beca countered. "I can't handle social situations, I have a nasty attitude most days and I'm so fucking sarcastic that half the shit out of my mouth isn't sincere. I'm also so fucking socially awkward that I use to hide in a Gad damn corner whenever I had to go to anywhere where there would be more then like three people! Oh, and we can add to everything else that makes me awkward that I curse worse then a motherfucking sailor!"

Here, both girls laughed, enjoying the false happiness that each allowed. They both were very aware of the upcoming necessary, and most likely highly uncomfortable conversation. However, at the moment, neither wanted to break the current lighthearted and easy conversation the two were having. It almost felt like old time. Almost. If only the nagging feeling they both had could go away, then maybe they could both go back to normal. Oh, and then also forget about the whole baby and suicide thing, then yeah. They could both go back to they way they were.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option, and the only way that the two of them could ever have a chance of being a couple once more, they had to realize their problems. They had to face all of their fears, insecurities, and issues head on and then still be able to out of that together. Their love was broken, shattered like all the mirrors Beca smashed on the night Chloe left. Their love hadn't been able to weather the storm. Now, they had to see if their love was even salvageable at this point.

"Chlo?" Beca asked, as their laughter died down.

"Yeah Becs?" Chloe said, bracing herself for the upcoming question.

"Are you alright?" Beca asked.

"What?" Chloe asked, completely surprised. She had expected Beca to ask her why she left, why she lied to Beca, or at least something along those lines. Never did she expect Beca to ask how SHE was.

"Are you alright." Beca repeated. As though she could read Chloe's mind, Beca continued. "I'm not going to bother asking you why you left or anything else like that. Aubrey already told me everything. And yeah, it sucks that you left, and I'm petrified to let you back in, but I'm going to, no questions asked. You went through far worse then I did, so I want you to know I'm here for you. So I'll repeat one more time, and if you don't have an answer, that's fine. Just be honest, alright? So, are you alright?"

"Beca..." Chloe said softly, unsure of how to proceed.

What was she suppose to say to that? Beca was so fucking perfect, so caring, so concerned, and Chloe was a fool and left her. Even now, when Beca's heart was shattered by Chloe, she still cared more about Chloe then anyone else. She didn't press Chloe for explanations, for answers, for anything. She didn't even care about that! Despite what Chloe put her through, Beca's foremost concern was for Chloe, and it broke her heart.

"Like I said, you don't have to answer that." Beca said, startling Chloe. "I get it. Its a bit of a loaded question and all-"

"No, its really not." Chloe said sadly. "I'm doing alrightish actually."

"Bullshit." Beca said simply. "I know for a fact that you're not."

"What?" Chloe asked, "How do-"

"I know?" Beca finished. "Because I know you Chloe. If Aubrey was telling me the truth, which she usually does, you've been absolute shit for the past year. Apparently, you might have out drank me too, which I actually find hard to believe."

"Shit." Chloe said, "Beca, I'm so sorry about everything-"

"Don't be." Beca said simply, "If you tell Aubrey this, I'll deny it to my grave, but I'm going to take her advice. She's right you know. I need to just let shit go. What's happened has happened, and I can't do anything to change it. I can go backwards, or I can go forwards, and to be perfectly honest, I'd rather go forwards."

"But still Beca," Chloe said, "I owe you a huge apology. I fuck up your life, when my life was the only one that had to have been fucked up. I never should have lied to you, and I most certainly never should have tried to break your heart. I should have been honest with you from the start, and I most certainly shouldn't have run."

First," Beca said lazily, "You didn't try to break my heart. You not only succeeded, but also shattered my life. Not the point though. Second, your life shouldn't have been fucked up in the first place. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and you should have had someone to help you when you were down. Also, I told you, for better or for worse, I love you. I was going to marry you, you know Chlo. Still want to, oddly enough, but anyway. Back on point, yeah, you shouldn't have lied to me, although i get your reasoning. I probably would have dropped everything to take care of you and the kid. However, that was my decision to make. You know just as well as I do that I never do things out of obligation. Remember our first Christmas together?"

Chuckling a bit, Chloe nodded her head, thinking back to that. Beca had absolutely refused to go to her father's house, and Chloe was dead set on making her go. Chloe tried everything she could, but this was the one thing it seemed Beca wouldn't do for her. When Chloe tried to guilt Beca into going, Beca had actually laughed in her face and told her point blank that she would never do something only because she felt obligated to do so.

"Yeah..." Chloe sighed, "I remember."

"Good. Beca said, "Anyway, I always wanted to have kids with you one day. Not necessarily today, but I can roll with that. So are we good now?"

"Just like that?" Chloe asked, incredulous.

"What do you mean?" Beca asked, genuinely confused.

"Just like that, me and you are all better." Chloe clarified. "After all the shit I put you through, after everything I did, just like that, we're poof, all better?

"Well, not all better. There's a shit ton of stuff we'll have to work out eventually, but yeah. I still love you, never stopped really, but as long as you still love me, we can work through this. unless of course you don't want us to be an us. In that case, I don't know then. Get the fuck out I suppose."

"Seriously?" Chloe asked, still shocked. "You're just going to forgive me, just like that?"

"Yeah." Beca laughed. "I figured that you probably suffered just as much as I did. You did get raped and all you know. Plus, the only big difference between the last year for the two of us was that I eventually shot off the deep end and tried to kill myself. Which I'm willing to bet that you would have done to if you didn't have Aubrey. Oh, and you had a kid to take care of. Speaking of which, can you tell me about the kid?"

Chloe just sat there and gaped at the girl in front of her. In all the ways she played out this conversation did she ever think that it would go like this. Never once did Chloe think that she and Beca would, just like that, be a couple once more, no questions asked.

"Earth to Chloe!" Beca said, waving her hand in front of Chloe's face. "Gonna start gushing about the little red head or not?"

"Her name's Baylie..." Chloe said, barely even noticing the words she was saying. "Aubrey says she looks just like me, only a baby. She's only three months old, but she's really smart."

"Excellent." Beca said, nodding her head.

"Yeah..." Chloe said, still spaced a bit. She really did NOT expect this conversation.

"Chloe?" Beca asked.

"Yeah Beca?" Chloe said.

"I love you."

* * *

**Aaaaaannnd CUT! We out Mortals. No, stop panicking! I didn't mean that the fic was over! Just the chapter! Geeze... Cool your tit's. So yeah. UNPREDICTABLE! Who guessed this was going to happen? Not me, and I wrote the damn thing. Time to answer everyone now, and if you love me, you'll all leave a shit ton of reviews again.**

**Hakuna-fucking-matata: First. Love you name. Absolutely brilliant. Second, I'm glad you've joined the party mate! Though, you should know that being fashionably late went out of style last year. **

**Positiveoutcomesonly- A, LOVE your writing. I'm freaking out here now that your reading this too. B, Yes, Warren is a hypocrite. A motherfucking hypocrite I wish I could just kill off. But I still need him, so he's not going to die now. And yes, this is a lovely one shot, isn't it? Its only like 9 times the usual length.**

**cxcxcx386: Mon amie, as always, you make my day that much better with your lovely reviews. And I know I'm the greatest... ah Duh! But you can still keep saying that... I like compliments. :P But anyway, MWAHAHAHAHA! Who said anything about Beca? DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUH!**

**Becaachloe: But I like the cliffhangers! And HA! this is cyberspace! You can't stab me! But even if you could, would you? I really would rather not be stabbed, especially in the eye with a butter knife. I would imagine that such a thing would hurt...**

** : I'm glad that you've caught up on! Did you need your tissues, or are you staring at the screen like WTF. I was when I finished the chapter, so yeah. Not even sure what the hell this was really...**

**Karen: Of course i answered you silly! you spend the time to read and review, I spend the time to read and respond. Like Ive said before I read every single review, PM, etc i get. And each one makes my day :) And I never said someone was going to die. I also said that no one wasn't either. You people act as though I'm going to actually give you that much of a spoiler. Patience padowan. All will be revealed.**

**Iwillfogetthisl8er: A, I hope you don't forget this later, and B, I like AUbrey in this fic too. Everyone's fucked up if you think about it. Plus perfect people are boring. Good for you. Your tied and succeeded. Whoop dee fucking doo!**

**And to everyone else, HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13! I was SOOOOO tempted to kill some one off, just because I could, so be happy i haven't. Thank you to everyone else who ****reviewed, and please, keep 'em coming. I love those who review more then I love life itself, so yeah. If you love this fic, or you love me (both would be nice) you should totally review. The bo is RIGHT there you know... I spend HOURS on each chapter lovely mortals. Can you give me a minute of your time to tell me what you think?  
**


	11. The Monster

**Greetings Mortals. The one and only King Alex has returned. Yes, I am aware I'm a girl, but King Alex just sounds better then Queen Alex. Don't judge. I spend hours everyday writing this piece of shit for you. Let me call myself a King!**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this, so now you can't sue!**

* * *

**The Monster**

_I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_  
_ Get along with the voices inside of my head_  
_ You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath_  
_ And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy_

_ I wanted the fame, but not the cover of Newsweek_  
_ Oh, well, guess beggars can't be choosey_  
_ Wanted to receive attention for my music_  
_ Wanted to be left alone in public. Excuse me_  
_ For wanting my cake and eat it too, and wanting it both ways_  
_ Fame made me a balloon 'cause my ego inflated_  
_ When I blew; see, but it was confusing_  
_ 'Cause all I wanted to do is be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf_  
_ Abused ink, used it as a tool when I blew steam (wooh!)_  
_ Hit the lottery, oh wee_  
_ With what I gave up to get was bittersweet_  
_ It was like winning a used me_  
_ Ironic 'cause I think I'm getting so huge I need a shrink_  
_ I'm beginning to lose sleep: one sheep, two sheep_  
_ Going cuckoo and cooky as Kool Keith_  
_ But I'm actually weirder than you think_  
_ 'Cause I'm_

_ I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_  
_ Get along with the voices inside of my head_  
_ You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath_  
_ And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy_

_ Well, that's nothing_  
_ Well, that's nothing_

_ No, I ain't much of a poet but I know somebody once told me_  
_ To seize the moment and don't squander it_  
_ 'Cause you never know when it all could be over tomorrow_  
_ So I keep conjuring, sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from_  
_ (Yeah, ponder it, do you want this?_  
_ It's no wonder you're losing your mind, the way it wanders)_  
_ Yo-lo-lo-lo-yee-whoo_  
_ I think you've been wandering off down yonder_  
_ And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen_  
_ 'Cause I need an interventionist_  
_ To intervene between me and this monster_  
_ And save me from myself and all this conflict_  
_ 'Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it_  
_ My OCD is conking me in the head_  
_ Keep knocking, nobody's home, I'm sleepwalking_  
_ I'm just relaying what the voice in my head's saying_  
_ Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just friends with the_

_ I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_  
_ Get along with the voices inside of my head_  
_ You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath_  
_ And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy_

_ Well, that's nothing_  
_ Well, that's nothing_

_ Call me crazy, but I had this vision_  
_ One day that I'd walk amongst you a regular civilian_  
_ But until then drums get killed and I'm coming straight at_  
_ MCs, blood get spilled and I_  
_ Take it back to the days that I get on a Dre track_  
_ Give every kid who got played that_  
_ Pumped up feeling and shit to say back_  
_ To the kids who played 'em_  
_ I ain't here to save the fucking children_  
_ But if one kid out of a hundred million_  
_ Who are going through a struggle feels and then relates that's great_  
_ It's payback, Russell Wilson falling way back_  
_ In the draft, turn nothing into something, still can make that_  
_ Straw into gold chump, I will spin Rumpelstiltskin in a haystack_  
_ Maybe I need a straight jacket, face facts_  
_ I am nuts for real, but I'm okay with that_  
_ It's nothing, I'm still friends with the_

_ I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_  
_ Get along with the voices inside of my head_  
_ You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath_  
_ And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy_

_ Well, that's nothing_  
_ Well, that's nothing_

* * *

Beca ran a tired hand through her hair. Despite the strong front she'd been putting up for everyone, she was actually rather tired. She was also in a bit of pain. She also really didn't know what the fuck she was going to do or how she felt about anything.

She may have pretended that she did, but in reality, she was floundering about for an answer, just like the rest of them. Except for Aubrey, but whatever, That bitch always had a fucking answer for everything. But back to point, had she really forgiven Chloe just like that? No. Most absol-fucking-lutely certainly not. For Christ's sake, Chloe had LEFT her for God's sake when she swore to her everyday that she'd never do no, Beca most certainly had not forgiven Chloe yet. She just really wish she could though.

Really, Beca could forgive her for anything but that. It really would have been better if Chloe came to Beca and told her that she'd cheated on Beca with fifty other women. Truly, Beca could easily move past that. As long as Chloe still could truthfully say that she still loved Beca, Beca was fine with almost anything Chloe could do. Beca could deal with cheating, lying, manipulation, whatever. But Chloe leaving her? Nope, not cool. Not cool at ALL.

She already was bracing herself for the day that Chloe would find things a little to tricky, a little to intense, and then go run away once more. She most certainly wasn't over everything like she told Chloe she was. Actually, seeing Chloe here once more, seeing Chloe back made all the mixed feelings she had for the red head only that much worse. Feelings that were already jumbled and unreadable just became that much worse, and all the fear and hatred Beca had been cultivating over the past year had just become so much more intense and all consuming.

"Fuck." Beca swore to herself.

She really did want to be able to be as nonchalant about the whole situation as she was pretending to be, but she just couldn't. In all honesty, she cared far too much for her liking about the whole thing, and if it weren't for the fact that at the moment she physically couldn't run FAR away from this place, she would have been long gone.

However, she was stuck in this god damn bed, so for now, she was just going to go back to resorting to sarcasm and insincerity while she figured this whole cluster fuck out. She just really hoped that while she was doing this, Chloe didn't disappear again. She may not have forgiven the girl, but fuck her if she still didn't love the red headed, lying, leaving, heart breaker of a bitch as much as she always had.

Which was weird, because Beca should hate Chloe, like more then she hated movies. But she didn't. Really, even in her darkest, most self hating times, all caused by Chloe one might add, Beca still loved Chloe more then anything else. Her life still revolved around the woman, and Beca was kind of pissed it did. Chloe fucking shattered her heart for Christ's sake! And yet. Yet still, Beca worshiped the ground Chloe walked upon.

"Fuck me." Beca sighed. This was all way to much for Beca to deal with right now

When did life get so damn difficult?

* * *

Chloe slumped against the door of Beca's room. To say that everything was just fucked up would be an excellent statement for this entire fucking situation. The first conversation Chloe tried to have with Beca ended before it even started. The second one?

"Fuck." Chloe cursed to herself.

She really shouldn't be so confused about the whole thing. Beca said everything was greatish, and that she wasn't mad. She told Chloe that she loved her, and to the best of Chloe's knowledge, she wasn't lying. Beca still wanted to have a future with Chloe, and just like that, everything was all better. Sure, Beca admitted that they would have a few (more like a ton, but hey, specifics are for Aubrey) issues to work through, but otherwise, Beca and Chloe were Beca and Chloe once more.

However, even to Chloe, Miss 'Life Can Be Perfect If You Make It' herself, the entire thing seem too easy. Which sucked, because Chloe really wanted this to be as easy and simply as Beca made it seem it could be. But she just couldn't. She'd hurt Beca too much to let herself just let everything go back to the way they were. Truthfully, Chloe doubted whether or not things between Beca and her COULD even go back to normal. Every time she saw the small brunette, she was reminded of what she put Beca through. Also, Beca would always have two vertical scars on her wrists as further reminders of what Chloe did.

Everything was just so wrong, so confusing at the moment. Beca wanted to just push everything away, forget the whole thing, but still, Chloe couldn't. There was no doubt in her mind that she still loved Beca. It was because of this, Chloe mused, that she couldn't just let the past be the past. While Aubrey was right, and she should let the past be the past, right now, she had to face the past. When the events that were currently haunting her dreams happened, Chloe drowned them all out with alcohol and never really faced them. She barely was even present for the past year, instead just barely living each day in a drunken stupor.

She didn't drink while she was pregnant, but still, she pushed everything and everyone away. She probably would have been drunk for her entire pregnancy if it weren't for Aubrey. Add that to the list of things she owed Aubrey for. With a sigh, Chloe sank to her knees and put her head in her hands.

"Fuck me." Chloe sighed.

She really didn't feel like facing the past right now.

* * *

"Chloe!" Aubrey yelled, as she spotted her ginger best friend. "There you are! I've been looking all over the place for you for the past hour."

Looking up, Chloe saw Aubrey striding over to her. Shit, had she really been here for the past hour? Oh well. That would explain why her foot was asleep though/

"Oh hey Bree." Chloe said.

"Hi Chloe." Aubrey said. "Now where the hell have you been?"

"Here." Chloe said simply. At Aubrey's arched eyebrow, Chloe sighed but continued. "I had a lot to think about so I just decided to stay here for a bit. Sorry if I worried you."

"No, its fine." Aubrey sighed. "How did things go with Beca go?"

Instead of answering, Chloe just dropped her head back into her hands.

"Chloe, did you even talk to Beca?" Aubrey demanded.

"Yup." Chloe said, popping the p, still not looking up.

"And?" Aubrey prodded.

"It went well." Chloe said simply.

"Chloe." Aubrey's voice took on a warning edge.

"It really did go well." Chloe said, lifting her head up. "Beca was really cool about everything, and it was almost like old times. Apparently, all she wants to do is move on. Speaking of which, what the aca-hell did you tell her Bree?"

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey asked, stunned.

"What did-"

"No, I heard that." Aubrey snapped. "So, just like that, things between you and Beca are fine."

"Apparently." Chloe shrugged.

"For serious?" Aubrey asked, still shocked.

"Dixie Chick serious." Chloe joked.

"Chloe, is that really what happened?" Aubrey asked, the news too good for Aubrey to believe it true.

"Yeah." Chloe said honestly. "I didn't believe it either, but that's what Beca said. She says she's over everything, and that the past can be the past. She still loves me, and so long as I still love her, we can work through all this. The thing is though, she wasn't lying Bree. I can still read Beca like a fucking book, and I'm pretty sure that she believed every word that she told me. Kinda. I know that she's not as over everything as she pretends to be, but I think that she genuinely still wants to be with me! I don't get it either, but that's how it is."

"You realize that you have still have a lot to prove, not only to Beca but to Warren, right?" Aubrey said. "Just because Beca wants things to be back to normal just like that, doesn't mean that they will you know. You said it yourself. Beca's not over everything like she may want you to believe. She's told me as much that she's afraid that you'll run again. Honestly, so am I. Warren's just so tired of this whole thing, that he's all but given up."

"Yeah..." Chloe sighed. "I know Bree. Trust me. I won't run though. And I hope that I can spend the rest of my life proving that to Beca and Warren. Speaking of Warren, I need to talk to him too, don't I?"

"Yeah, you do." Aubrey laughed. "But you don't have to talk to him until after you talk to your mom."

Suddenly, Chloe bolted up.

"Shit Bree!" Chloe said, "I completely forgot about that!"

"That's unfortunate." Aubrey smirked. "I would suggest-"

"I swear to God if you tell me to call her now, I'll murder you in your sleep." Chloe warned.

"I suppose then I shouldn't say anything." Aubrey sighed dramatically.

"Aubreeeeeey!" Chloe whined, "Please!"

"Please what?" Aubrey asked, pretending to not know.

"AUBREY!" Chloe begged, "I can't do this! You need to do this! I can't-"

"Chloe!" Aubrey barked, "First, yes you can do this. It's going to be a shitty ass conversation, and really shouldn't be done over the phone, but we can't control that. You're going to tell her everything. EVERYTHING. No exceptions. And then, you're going to visit her after we're done here. To answer your next question, yes, I'll go with you if you want. Second, no I will not call your mother for you. Stop being such a bitch about this Chloe. This is your mother for Christ's sake! You know, the woman who loves you and raised you? She deserves to hear the truth from her daughter. I'm actually appalled that its taken you this long to tell her."

Chloe slumped back down, defeated. As usual, Aubrey was right. Why did she always have to be right? Oh yeah, because as she says, she a Posen. Whatever.

"You suck Bree." Chloe pouted. "You should be nice to me."

"I'm always fucking nice to you Chlo." Aubrey scoffed. "You're just mad right now that I'm telling you that you have to do something you don't want to do. Which really isn't all that fair considering everything."

"Yeah... I know." Chloe sighed. "I'm very sorry Aubrey. Please forgive me?"

"Sure." Aubrey smirked. "Right after you call your mom."

With that said, Aubrey turned away and walked back down the hall.

"Wait! Aubey!" Chloe shouted after her.

Rather then answering, Aubrey just flipped Chloe of without even turning around.

"Bitch." Chloe huffed.

With a sigh, Chloe pulled her phone and scrolled through the contacts until she found her mom's number. Fuck, this wasn't going to be fun at all. She was probably going to cry, her mom was probably going to cry, and that just didn't sound like a good time at all. Also, Chloe was also tired of crying. She'd shed far too many tears over the past few days for her liking, and there was little doubt in her mind that this conversation would leave her with dry eyes.

"Shit." Chloe cursed, turning her phone off.

She couldn't do this. Nope, sorry Bree, but this just wasn't going to happen. How the hell are you even suppose to tell your mom that you were raped, got pregnant, and then left your girlfriend to try and protect her. Yeah, that would be a fun one. For some reason Chloe thought that if she just called her mom up and said "Hey mom. yeah, that baby Aubrey dropped off with you a couple days ago? Yeah, she mine, and um funny story, I don't know the father. See I was raped, and then I got pregnant, so if I've been distant, then that's why. Oh yeah, and I also left Beca so that she wouldn't fuck her life up to take care of me, but that backfired, and then she tried to commit suicide. Which is why you're taking care of Baylie right now. But any way, yeah. Everything's better now, and we can just go back to being a happy family. I'll be back soon."

Yeah. That'll work reeeeeaaaaal well. With a sigh, Chloe got back up and walked into the waiting room. Might as well be comfy when she made this call, right?

* * *

Aubrey sighed as she dug around in her purse. Currently, she was hiding in an empty janitor's closet. Upon finding the little black box she always carried with her, Aubrey opened it up an pulled out its contents. Into her hand, a small razor blade and a number of bandages tumbled out.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Aubrey mumbled to herself, as picked up the razor blade with her free hand.

Why was she such a shitty best friend? Chloe needed her to be supportive, not bitchy. She had to work on that. She had to work on a lot really, but for now, should focus on that. With a sigh, Aubrey lifted her skirt up so that the crisscross of red lines on the insides of her thighs glared out to her. Holding the razor in between her thumb and forefinger, Aubrey dragged the thin piece of metal over her legs, losing herself in the sharp pain it brought each time the metal was brought down upon her legs.

Finally, after there were twenty long even cuts on her legs, all dripping blood, Aubrey stopped. Resting her head against the wall, Aubrey let the blood trickle down her legs and run down her thighs. Momentarily fascinated by the crimson trail, Aubrey allowed herself to just take a moment for herself before she dived head first back into the troubles that she currently faced.

"Pull yourself together." Aubrey whispered to herself.

It was bad enough that she was so fucking weak that she allowed herself to indulge in such a pointless habit. Sitting here wasn't getting anything done, and she'd already wasted enough time. Aubrey lifted up the razor once more, tempted to make a few new marks upon her skin, as a reminder to not dawdle. However, as she heard footsteps outside of her hiding place, Aubrey thought better of it and instead placed the razor back into the box. Cleaning herself up, and eliminating any trace of her being there, Aubrey finally stood up.

Looking into the small mirror in the closet, Aubrey checked her appearance, making sure that nothing was out of place. Satisfied that everything was in order, Aubrey turned around and walked back to the waiting room where Chloe was. She would be the perfect best friend this time.

* * *

Chloe sat in her chair staring at the screen of her phone. For the past fifteen minutes or so, Chloe had sat here, just staring at the now black screen of her phone, trying to find the nerve to call her mom. She wasn't ready to tell her mom! She just wasn't. She wasn't ready to rehash the past, to go revisit old demons. She didn't want to tell anyone what happened either. Especially her mom.

In fact, the only reason that Aubrey knew what happened, is because Chloe had to tell her that. Aubrey wouldn't believe that Chloe cheated on Beca and that because of a drunken one night stand, Chloe was now pregnant. It was only after a six hours of Aubrey demanding to know the truth, and Chloe vehemently denying that the story she'd originally told Aubrey was anything but the truth, did the actual truth finally come out. That conversation was real fun to. So much fun, that if Chloe never thought about it again, it would be too soon.

With a sigh, Chloe turned her phone on once more, however she found that her hand was trembling too much to even type in her password. With a sigh, Chloe let her head fall back against the chair. She had to do this. She could do this. No she couldn't what was she-

"Hey." Aubrey said softly, startling Chloe out of her stupor.

"Oh, hey Bree." Chloe said tiredly. "I haven't called her yet, so before you start, I know. I'm just nervous, you know? I never even wanted to tell you, but yeah. And now I have to tell my mom, and-"

"I get it." Aubrey said, cutting Chloe off before she became too hysterical about the whole thing. "This won't be easy. I know that. If you want though, I can sit here while you tell her if you want."

"Yeah..." Chloe said softly, "Could you?"

"Whatever you need Chloe." Aubrey smiled. "Need me to call her too?"

"Yeah." Chloe laughed a bit. "My hands are shaking to much."

"Its fine." Aubrey smiled. Typing in the number, Aubrey handed her phone to Chloe as it started to ring.

"Shit, Bree!" Chloe panicked, as she heard the phone ring on the other end. "I can't do this! I can't-"

"Shh..." Aubrey said, doing her best to reassure the frantic red head. "Yes you can."

Nodding, Chloe took a deep breath. She could do this. She could totes do this. She had to do this she-

"Aubrey?" Chloe heard her mom say over the phone. "My Gosh, Aubrey, I've been so worried! Is everything okay? How's Chloe? Oh my gosh, is everything alright?"

Shit. Nope she couldn't. She couldn't do this this was too hard. Chloe was about to hang up the phone when she saw Aubrey sitting calmly next to her. Beside her, Aubrey mouth the word "yes you can" to her. Taking a deep breath, Chloe steeled her nerves and then spoke into the receiver.

"Hi mom." Chloe said softly.

"Chloe!?" Mrs. Beale shrieked into the phone. "Oh my goodness, its that really you? Where are you? How are you? What are you doing? Why am I holding a baby? Are you alright though? You sound tired. have you been sleeping? Have you been eating? Please tell me you haven't been drinking. Chloe, I've been so worried. I-"

"Mom!" Chloe spoke sharply, though not meanly into the phone. "Calm down. I'm fine. I'm in a hospital in Atlanta right now actually. Before you start to worry, no, its not me who was hurt."

"Oh goodness." Mrs. Beale said. In the background, Chloe could hear a baby start to cry. "Oh dear. That would be Baylie. I'll be right back. And when I am, you have a lot of explaining to to young lady."

"Yeah, I know." Chloe sighed, "I'll tell you everything, I promise."

Through the phone's speaker, Chloe heard her mother rustle around and coo to Baylie. After a while, Baylie's cries finally died down, and once more, Mrs. Beale's voice came though.

"Alright, I'm back." Mrs. Beale said, "Do you want to explain that one first, or should we start somewhere else?"

Chloe sighed. She might as well start from the beginning.

"Mom, this is kinda a long story, and it most certainly isn't pleasant. I really should tell you this face to face, but for now, over the phone'll have to do."

"Alright honey." Mrs. Beale said, "Chloe, is everything alright? I'm concerned."

"No mom..." Chloe sighed, "Everything's not alright, and it hasn't been for the past year. Mom, before you say anything though, I need to tell you everything. This is a long story, and I need you to promise me that you'll be quiet until I'm done, okay?"

"Alright." Mrs. Beale sighed.

"Mom." Chloe's voice caught, as she thought of what she had to say next. "I... I umm."

Chloe put the phone down, and placed her head in her hands.

"Aubrey, I can't do this!" Chloe cried. "I can't-"

"Yes you can." Aubrey said firmly, but reassuringly. "I'm right here, and your mother needs to know."

Sniffing a bit, Chloe nodded before picking her phone up once more.

"Sorry about that." Chloe sniffed. "This isn't easy to talk about."

"Its fine honey." Mrs. Beale said, "Just continue. I'm right here."

"Right," Chloe said, taking am moment to calm down. "Well, um, there's no real way to say this, but I guess I just have to say it. Last year, i was raped at a college party. I don't know who did it, or even really what happened. Someone- " Chloe's voice caught again, as the sketchy memories flooded back to her, "Someone spiked my drink, and I really don't remember the rest."

"Chloe..." Mrs. Beale said softly over the phone. Though Chloe couldn't see her, she knew that tears were silently falling.

"No, its alright mom." Chloe said, her voice wavering. "I really don't even remember anything. I uh... I don't remember anything actually. All I remember is dancing at the party, and then blackness. I- I woke up the next day in a motel room with no clothes on and no memory of the night before."

Here Chloe fell silent, sobs racking her body. Not even Aubrey had heard the full story, and now, now that she was reliving the event, it was soon becoming too much. Over the phone, Chloe could hear her mother softly crying, however, true to her word, she said nothing. Beside her, Aubrey too was crying, though a familiar glint was seen in her eyes. Aubrey was pissed, and Chloe was sure she'd hear something about this later.

"Anyway, after I woke up, I just ran mom." Chloe said shakily, "I didn't want to face what happened, so i didn't. I never reported it, and I never told anyone other then Aubrey, even then, she didn't know until a month after the event. But yeah. A few weeks later, I missed my period, and Mom, I was so scared. I went to a store to get a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I- I panicked, and." Chloe's voice wavered once more, and she had to take a moment to compose herself, "I ran Mom. I broke things off with Beca, because I didn't want to burden her with my problems, and then I left Georgia. I went to New York to live with Aubrey for a bit, you know, to figure things out. That's actually the only reason Aubrey even knows what happened. you know Bree, Mom. Has to know everything."

Beside her, Aubrey gently punched Chloe's arm, feigning offense. However, despite the fact that both their eyes were shining with tear, for once, Chloe felt at ease. Finally, it felt as though the great weight that had been on Chloe's shoulders since the incident had been lifted. Now that Chloe had told someone, her mother no less, about everything, Chloe finally felt ready to move one.

"I think you know the rest now Mom." Chloe sighed. "I had that little bundle that I know you're rocking to sleep right now, and I've been with Aubrey ever since then."

"Oh Chloe..." Mrs. Beale breathed, "Baby, why-"

"Didn't I tell anyone?" Chloe finished. laughing darkly, Chloe continued, "Because I was so scared mom. Up until now, I'd been denying that it even happened. I probably wouldn't tell you if it weren't for Aubrey here making me. Mom, the only reason that I even let myself admit that this happened is because of Baylie."

"Chloe..." Mrs. Beale said quietly.

Chloe could here her mother's voice quivering, and Chloe knew that her mother was crying. Suddenly, this though made Chloe cry too. She wanted so badly to be able to hug her mom, to have her mother tell her that everything was okay, and to tell be able to tell her mother that she was okay now. That now, everything was over, and that now they were going to go forward.

"I love you Mom." Chloe whispered into the phone.

"Chloe, I love you too, so much." Mrs. Beale said. "When are you going to come home?"

"Right." Chloe sighed, "I suppose I need to tell you why I'm at a hospital too then."

"Chloe, you don't need to say anything that you don't want to," Mrs. Beale said quickly "I get-"

"No, you should know." Chloe said, as she took a shuddering breath. "I, um... Before I left, I broke Beca's heart. I'm not proud of it, but I did it. I didn't want Beca to drop everything, to let her dreams go to take care of me, so I left her Mom. I broke the one promise I swore I would keep. She... uh... She didn't take it well, and she fell into a really deep depression. For the past year, she's- she's been in a really dark place Mom, and um... about a week ago, Beca- Beca tried to commit suicide."

On the other end of the line, Chloe could hear her mother's sharp intake of breath. She herself had tears streaming down her face as she thought of Beca in a coma, of Beca's screams, and of Beca's fears.

"Is Beca...?" Mrs. Beale asked, too overcome with the idea to even finish the question.

"No Mom, she's alright now." Chloe sighed. "She's going to be fine. I really don't know what's going to happen from here, but I'm never going to leave Beca again."

"Chloe, are YOU alright though?" Mrs. Beale asked

"I think I will be." Chloe said, finally smiling, "I think I will be."

* * *

**And that's a cut my friends! Chloe's talked with her mother, and now I can finally start killing people off. lol, JK. Sort of. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! So, if you cried, I'm sorry. I think I might need to set up a fund for tissues for all you Mortals. So, no on to you guys.**

**cxcxcx386: So, did this answer your question? Trust me, Beca and Chloe have a long hard road ahead of them, and I think that Beca would choose a path of avoidance rather then confrontation. So, now you must continue reading if you wanna know what happens. As for Warren, you need to remember, that he was hurt to. Yes he's a fucking hypocrite, and yes i want to kill him too, but just, be patient. All will come to light soon enough. And I don't know. Is some one going to die? You tell me. :)**

**Positiveoutcomesonly: Ah DUH! I love your writing. Its absolutely brilliant, and a good way to find my own inspiration! And you really didn't notice the excessive length? Really? Well then...**

**Msweeney 1997: Aww... Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I like Aubrey in this too. And Chloe and Beca aren't done yet! Read on to find out what's next!**

**anonwithvodka: I'm so glad you've found my little fic! *whispers back* I think I'm awesome too ;)**

**IC16: I don't know if it'll get better or not. MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**iwillforgetthisl8er: I'm glad that you'll remember this! And life funny that way, isn't it :) And their conversation was unexpected and probs will lead to a bunch of problems later, but you know.**

**Hakuna-fucking-Matata: Thank you for reading! Maybe one day you could teach Beca how to swear. lol. Though, I don't think she needs any help in that department!**

**To everyone else: I love you all so much! I get lots of reads every time i update, and you make me happy. As a side note, I'm now in a competition with my sister to see who can get to 10,000 reads first, so you all should help me win. TOTALLY should help me win. Reviews are much nicer then reads though. I SEE WHEN YOU READ! Literally hundreds of reads a chapter, and an average of 8 reviews a chapter. For some reason, that doesn't add up to me...**


	12. Truth

**Greetings Mortals! Your king has returned. Now were are my trumpets! You know, you disappoint me mortals. There were even less reviews for the last chapter then ever before! Does that mean you guys don't like this fic anymore? Because if that's the case, I can just stop writing you know. If this really is a piece of horse shit, just tell me. I won't be upset.**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this and now you can't sue!**

* * *

Warren paced about the hotel room angrily. Just like that, Beca had forgiven Chloe. Just like that! No angry speech, no demands for an explanation. Nothing! Beca just simply decided that she didn't feel like dealing with her emotions, decided that she didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation, so, instead of being a bog girl, and sucking it the fuck up, she just took the easy route.

"God damn it Beca!" Warren yelled to the empty room.

God damn it indeed. Warren knew exactly what would happen now. Chloe would fucking waltz right back into Beca's life, right back through all of Beca's walls, and then, she'd make her place there once more. She'd make Beca comfortable with her again, get her to trust her, to absolutely love her again. Then, When Beca was finally healed, finally ready to completely move on, Chloe would leave once more. She'd waltz right back out of Beca's life, with no thought of the destruction that she would cause. After all, why should she? She didn't have to deal with a fucking shattered Beca! She didn't have to watch as Beca sat on the front stoop of the house for DAYS on end, waiting for someone who's never come back. She didn't have to watch Beca drink herself into oblivion and then scream and curse the Heavens for tricking her, for breaking her, for letting her be so stupid.

Chloe never had to deal with Beca beg for her mom to come back either. To Warren, that was the worst. To watch as Beca would drunkenly stumble about until she found a picture of her mother. Then, she sit down, and cry to her mother. To beg her mother to just come back, to love her, to bring Chloe with her. Here, Warren chuckled darkly. It would be so much easier for everyone if Chloe had just died, like Beca's mother.

However, Lina would never return. She had died when Beca was 16, and since then, Beca had become even more closed off, even more angry with the world. Lina had been so good with Beca, so close. But then some drunken bastard had killed her, and with Lina's last breath, Beca's last chance at happiness had left this world too. Then Chloe waltzed in, and promised everyone that once more, Beca would genuinely smile, that Beca could and would get to live happily ever after. And like the fools they were, they believed her. They latched themselves onto the false promises of a false prophet, and now they were all paying the price.

"FUCK!" Warren roared.

With a strangled sob, Warren sank down onto the bed. Tears streaming down his face, Warren wept for his daughter. He never was the best father. He could openly admit that. For the better part of Beca's life, he'd ignored her, practically disowned her. However, now, he was trying to atone for his grievous mistake. Trying so desperately to mend bridges that were most likely burned beyond repair. Warren was trying as hard as he could, but it seemed that no matter what he did, no matter what he tried, he would still always fail. For Christ's sake, he couldn't even protect his baby girl from the one danger that everyone saw!

He was every bit the bastard and failure that Beca use to call him. Tears still streaming down his face, Warren laid down. Pulling out his wallet, Warren pulled out the two pictures he always carried with him. Staring at his daughter and wife's faces, Warren only cried harder, large, bitter tears rolling down his face.

"I'm so sorry Lina." Warren sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry."

And he was. He had made too many mistakes in the past to be able to even try and fix the ones in the present. Because of his stupid younger self, Beca would now have to pay the price,

"I'm sorry Beca," Warren sobbed. "Please forgive me."

Finally, after a few hours, Warren's tears stopped falling, gut wrenching sobs quieted down to only the faintest of sniffles. Coughing a bit, Warren sat back up. Putting the pictures back in his wallet, Warren walked out of the hotel room with new resolve. Though he tried, he could not reach his daughter. He had hurt her far to badly in the past, and he understood that. However, there were other ways to go about this. He would protect his baby girl. He would rather die trying, then ever live to see his baby as shattered as she was.

He needed to make his peace with Chloe. Perhaps, if he could make Chloe see the truth of everything, make her understand what she meant to Beca, maybe he could make her stay. it was time to put away his petty past feelings for the girl. If this was what Beca chose, if this was who Beca loved, then God himself could not stand in his way right now. He may not approve, but for Beca's sake, he would try.

* * *

Chloe Beale paced about the waiting room. A little over half an hour ago, she had been kicked out of Beca's room so that doctors could run some test on Beca. Which Chloe was fine with. Totally cool wth that. Beca needed to get better, at least physically, and Chloe got that. She didn't mind the doctors doing their thing. BUT DID IT HAVE TO TAKE SO GOD DAMN LONG?

"Chloe, could you please sit down?" Aubrey's called to her, "For heaven's sake, you're making ME feel nervous!"

Quickly taking the seat next to her friend, Chloe slumped into the chair. She really didn't want to make Aubrey nervous. That never ended well. Or cleanly. Plus, she was actually wearing clean clothes today, so yeah. No need for a pukefest today!

"Sorry Bree!" Chloe said. "Its just, its been so long, and I really still need to talk to Beca, and there's still so much left to do. Plus, I have to talk to Warren, and Beca's all chill about it, but I'm not! There's so much-"

"Chloe!" Aubrey barked. "Chill. The. Fuck. Out."

Chloe's mouth hung open, absolutely shocked. Did Aubrey just tell her to chill the fuck out? Aubrey? What? With a small laugh, Aubrey reached over and shut Chloe's mouth for her. Snapping out of her stupor, Chloe slapped Aubrey's hand away.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Chloe joked.

"Pardon?" Aubrey asked, clearly amused.

"Well, you absolutely can't be Aubrey." Chloe sighed. "My friend Aubrey never curses, and she also doesn't even know the meaning of the word chill, so who are you, and what have you done with Aubrey Posen? I suggest you bring her back soon though. She'll be pissed if she finds out that you've tried to replace her."

Giggling, Aubrey just reached across and gently slapped Chloe's arm.

"Shut up jerk!" Aubrey laughed. "I do to know the meaning of the word chill."

"Oh I forgot!" Chloe said, slapping a palm to her forehead. "Of course Aubrey knows the meaning of the word. She's read the dictionary like eighty gazillion times before, so she knows the definition of like every word. Soooooory!"

"Jerk!" Aubrey huffed, once more slapping Chloe's arm.

"Ouch woman!" Chloe shrieked, rubbing her arm. "That hurt!"

"Good." Aubrey smirked, "You deserved it."

In stead of answering, Chloe just stuck her tongue out and slumped down further in her seat, obviously pouting. Instead of calling Chloe out on her childish behavior, Aubrey just chuckled, and reopened the book she was reading. For a while, both girls sat in a companionable silence. However, the entrance of one Warren Mitchell broke this.

Aubrey, as usual was the one to first notice his presence. nudging Chloe with her arm to get her attention, Aubrey didn't bother looking up from her book. As Chloe's head whipped up, surprised out of a near sleeping state, she finally noticed Warren striding over to where they sat. Jolting upright, Chloe sat up and once more, found the urge to begin pacing the length of the room once more.

"Aubrey, could you please give Chloe and I a minute." Warren said without preamble.

"Very well." Aubrey said closing her book and standing up. "Chloe, I'll be right outside if you need me. Warren, if you intentionally hurt my best friend, I will personally hunt you down. Same goes for you Chloe. You two need to stop being such petty children and figure your shit out. Warren, remember what I told you."

With that said, Aubrey walked out of the room, leaving two very shocked people behind. Shuffling awkwardly from from side to side, Warren cleared his throat.

"Pardon me." Warren said awkwardly, "Mind if I take a seat?"

Chloe laughed a bit. God, sometimes Beca and Warren were so similar, it wasn't even funny.

"No problem." Chloe said, doing her best to hide her amusement.

Sitting down, Warren just sat there awkwardly, trying to find the words to say to begin the upcoming conversation. Beside him, Chloe was doing the same. Now that her initial amusement had worn off, Chloe too found herself exceedingly nervous. Despite everything, or maybe even because of everything, Chloe still found herself rather uncomfortable around the man.

"Chloe-"

"I need to-"

Chloe and Warren began at the same time. Laughing, albeit uncomfortably and uneasily, both could see that they had something to say.

"You first." Chloe said.

"No, it alright, what did you have to say?" Warren said kindly.

"Nothing really." Chloe shrugged, "I think you should start though."

"Alright..." Warren sighed. "Where do I even begin?"

"At the beginning." Chloe said simply. Seeing Warren's quizzical glance, she quickly elaborated. "Isn't that what they always say? To start at the beginning. Though I'm not entirely sure this whole situation even has a clear beginning."

"No, it doesn't." Warren said sadly. "However, I do need to start somewhere I suppose. I'm just not sure where."

"Then just pick something random and roll with it." Chloe suggested.

Warren cocked an eyebrow at this "What do you mean?"

"I don't- Its just..." Chloe stuttered. Taking a deep breath, Chloe finally continued. "Its just what i use to tell Beca. She was awful at talking about things, so I just told her to you know, just roll with it. Say what she was thinking, and we'd figure it out..."

Trailing off awkwardly, Chloe suddenly found a loose string in her pants very interesting. For a while, neither spoke.

"That's good advice." Warren said quietly, breaking the silence.

Surprised, Chloe's head whipped up, meeting Warren's eyes.

"I guess I'll start with Beca." Warren mused, "You're no fool Chloe, so I'm going to assume that you know just as well as I do that she hasn't just forgiven you. I know she wants to, but Chloe, you hurt her so badly when you left, you have no idea. And before you say anything, I get it. You were scared and were trying to protect Beca. Something terrible happened, and you acted irrationally. Trust me, you're not the only one."

Here, Warren let out a humorless chuckle. Chloe sat quietly next to the man, unsure of what to say.

"You're not the only one to have ever left her either though." Warren sighed, "I think I have the lovely honor of being the first one to have ever left Beca. I'm sure she's told you the story, so I'll skip it. But I think you know just as well as I do how that effected her. She's a fragile girl, despite the badass persona she tries to take. You were the first person in a long time to see through that though Chloe. You also have no idea how much that meant to her. For so long she's been trying to find someone what gets her, that can love her unconditionally, that before you'd come around, she'd nearly lost all hope."

"Mr. Mitchell..." Chloe said softly.

"Please, call me Warren." Warren laughed. "You always use to anyway. Chloe, you never knew Beca before. You don't know about the instant effect you had on my baby girl. You think she was closed off when you first met her? She was actually far worse then that. After her mother died, and Beca was put in my care, we use to go weeks without ever speaking so much as a word to each other. You have no idea how much i regret that now, but that's the truth. Every time I'd try and talk to her, all I'd get was angry sarcastic remarks, or she'd just completely ignore me. She had no friends in high school and she never even talked to anyone."

"Warren, I'm so sorry-" Chloe began.

"Don't be." Warren said simply. "Yes, you made a mistake. yes you broke your promise, but haven't we all? Chloe, I need to apologize to you. This past week, I've been a terrible, awful, beastly hypocrite to you. I have judged you, I have belittled you, and I have condemned you for doing the same as I did once. Chloe, I'm tired of everything, of hating, of judgments, of just everything. I'm done with it all now. Chloe, I want to bury the hatchet as they say now."

"Warren, I can't-" Chloe began.

"Yes, you can." Warren said simply. "You made your mistake, you hurt Beca, but now, You've realized your mistake. You, hopefully trying to make up for this, and now, hopefully, you're going to change."

"I am!" Chloe said. "I will never leave Beca again. I was stupid, impulsive-"

"And human." Warren smiled. "I get it Chloe, and I now offer you my sincerest apologies. I am no better then you. In fact, my abandonment was perhaps far worse then yours. So Chloe, will you accept this old man's apologies?"

"What?" Chloe asked, shocked.

"I'm sorry Chloe." Warren said, "I was wrong to be so mean to you, to judge you for what you did. Looking at things from a different angle, I can definitely see the logic in your reasoning. I think, that if our roles had been reversed, I may have acted in exactly the same manner."

"No." Chloe said, "You wouldn't have. You learned to not leave Beca the hard way. I don't think that you will ever leave Beca again."

"Then I hope that you won't either." Warren sighed. "You've unfortunately learned the same lesson as I, and now, I hope you never forget it.

"I won't." Chloe said firmly. "Thank you Warren, for everything."

"Don't thank me." Warren said simply. "Thank you're friend out there. Thank Beca."

"I will." Chloe laughed a bit.

"However, most importantly, don't just say you'll change Chloe." Warren said. "Show everyone. Show Beca and show me. No matter how much I don't want to, I still have my doubts about you. Please, show me wrong. Show Beca everyday that you love her. She's scared right now Chloe, and you need to prove to her that there is nothing left to fear, alright?"

"Yeah." Chloe smiled, genuinely smiled at this, "So, are we good now?"

"Yeah." Warren laughed, "We're good now."

* * *

Beca sat in her room, completely bored. Around her, the doctors kept running a shit ton of tests, talking inn their complicated doctor language. For God's sake, could they just speak English for once? Would it kill them to actually spaek in a language that Beca could understand? like seriously? They were worse then Aubrey!

"Are you guys done yet?" Beca sighed, as the doctors buzzed around her.

"Pardon me miss?" A nurse asked.

"How much longer is this going to take?" Beca asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh, not too much longer, we only have a few more tests, to ensure that you're mental and physical state is stable. We only need to check to see if your auditory and visual functions are still in working order." The nurse said, not looking up from the chart she was reading from.

"What?" Beca asked.

"Almost done sweetie." The nurse said, speaking to Beca as though she was a child.

Beca gritted her teeth and bit down on her tongue to stop herself from lashing out. Fucking doctors. Just because she didn't get their fancy schmancey talk didn't mean that she was fucking stupid! It just meant that she didn't have sixty fucking degrees. She wasn't fucking stupid, she was bored and tired of all these fucking people.

"Fucking great." Beca mumbled.

Forty-five minutes later, though it felt far longer to Beca, the last nurse finally left, leaving Beca alone. With a sigh, Beca let herself relax a bit. However, her relaxation was short lived.

"Hey Beca!" Chloe said, as she practically skipped into the room.

"Hey Chlo." Beca smiled. "wanna take a seat? They got first class accommodations here you know."

"Thanks." Chloe said, as she pulled up a chair. "Oh my gosh, I thought that they'd never be done here! What were they even doing?"

"Running a bunch of fucking stupid tests." Beca sighed. "I swear, they do the same fucking thing everyday only to get the same fucking results. I'm fine now. I spazzed, didn't think right, but we're all good now. Can I leave yet?"

Chloe laughed at Beca's rant. "I wish."

"Hey, do you think you could spring me?" Beca asked, suddenly hopeful.

"No..." Chloe sighed, "As much as I'd want to, you do need the doctor's okay to leave."

"Fine." Beca huffed. "So what are you doing today?"

"This." Chloe shrugged. "I really don't have any plans. I'm going to stay with you until you get discharged, and then, I dunno."

"What about Baylie?" Beca asked.

"What about her?" Chloe asked, surprised.

"What are you going to do with her?" Beca said.

"Oh..." Chloe said. "I'm not sure."

In truth, Chloe had almost completely forgotten about Baylie. With all of the events of the past few days, and then her talk with Warren, Chloe hadn't really spared her daughter that much thought. Other then when when spoke with her mother, Baylie hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Really?" Beca asked. "I thought that you'd be like OCD about her and all, you know? I never thought that you'd be so chill about your kid."

"No." Chloe snapped, annoyed that Beca would say something like that. "I don't."

"Whoa, calm down Chlo," Beca said, "I didn't mean anything by that. I was just saying. You always struck me as the person who loved kids and couldn't wait to have their own..."

"Well I could have waited." Chloe snapped, "I never really planned to have Baylie you know!"

"Right, yeah..." Beca said, "I'm really sorry Chloe..."

"No, its alright. Its not your fault." Chloe sighed, her anger gone. "Its just hard. I'm so not ready to be a parent, and I swear, if it weren't for Bree, I don't think either Baylie or I would be here."

"Yeah..." Beca said softly, "Can you tell me about her?"

"Why are you asking about Aubrey?" Chloe asked confused, "You know Aubrey-"

"Not Aubrey, Baylie!" Beca said, amused.

"Riiiight..." Chloe laughed. "That would make more sense."

"It would, wouldn't it." Beca joked. "I'd like to know more about my future daughter."

Chloe stiffened at this, suddenly on edge once more.

"What do you mean?" Chloe asked, forcing herself to remain calm.

"Well, I still want to be with you." Beca said nervously, "And if all goes well, one day, you'll be Mrs. Mitchell, and Baylie'll be a Mitchell too, and-"

"Who said anything about me being a Mitchell?" Chloe joked, forcing herself to relax, "You'll be a Beale, Mitchell!"

"No way!" Beca smirked, "You'll take my name. I'm the guy in this relationship after all."

"Suuuuuuuure you are..." Chloe smirked.

"I am!" Beca pouted.

"Uh huh." Chloe laughed. "Do you have anything against being a Beale though?"'

"What? NO!" Beca said quickly, "I'd be happy to be a Beale! I just was joking and you know. It was a joke! If you want me to be a Beale, I will happily and proudly be a Beale. I never-"

"Beca." Chloe smirked, "Calm down. I was messing with you"

"Jerk!" Beca huffed.

Once more, Chloe and Beca fell into their usual easy, playful banter. However, in the back of Chloe's mind, something was bugging her. Baylie would be Beca's daughter someday, wouldn't she? For some reason, this bothered Chloe. Before everything, she use to dream about having a big happy family with Beca, but now? Now she wasn't so sure. She should be overjoyed that Beca wanted a family with her, bu for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to be happy. She actually was... scared by the idea. Something about the entire thing made Chloe's heart seize, and made it seem like there wasn't enough air in the room.

Pushing this out of her mind though for the moment, Chloe put up her usual happy front. She laughed whenever she could, joked around with Beca, and was her usual bubbly self. However, even to her, it felt strained. What was happening?

* * *

After a few hours, Chloe finally left, though not by choice. Aubrey had literally come in and dragged the ginger out of the room, telling her to go get a shower and get actual food. Now, the blonde sat beside Beca's bed, an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" Beca finally said.

"Pardon?" Aubrey asked.

"What are you doing here?" Beca asked.

"I could ask you the same." Aubrey said, her tone of voice betraying nothing.

"I'm here because I tried to commit suicide, and the stupid fucking doctors won't let me go." Beca snapped. "Now what do you want Aubrey?"

"What are you playing at Beca?" Aubrey suddenly sad, her tone hostile.

"What do you mean?" Beca asked nervously

"You can't bullshit a bullshitter Beca." Aubrey snapped, "No tell me, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Umm... Laying in a bed?" Beca guessed.

"Beca!" Aubrey growled, "I know just as well as you do, that you're not as okay with everything as you're pretending to be. Now, tell me, what the fuck do you think your doing?"

"I don't know..." Beca sighed.

Beca really should have known that Aubrey would be the one to look into everything more, and see though her lies. She really should have, and now, she was going to have a very uncomfortable conversation. Fucking hell, just fucking great.

"Beca!" Aubrey snapped, "I really don't want to deal with a heartbroken ginger once more, so now tell me, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Excuse me?!" Beca snapped, feeling defensive. "CHLOE was the heartbroken one? In case you forgot, she left me! She did! I didn't leave here! I gave her every fucking opportunity to tell me something. I wrote her letters almost every fucking day. I called until she disconnected the number, and even then I still called. I-"

"Yes, I know what you did." Aubrey growled, "But have you already forgotten why Chloe cut off all communications with you?'

"Yeah..." Beca grumbled, sinking back down into her bed, defeated.

"Excellent." Aubrey said, "Then you should also know that Chloe cried over every fucking letter you sent. She listened to every single voice mail you sent, and would cry herself to sleep listening to your music. She never disconnected her number Beca, I did. Every single time you called, it broke her a little more, She listened to ever single voice mail you left, ever message, over and over again, wishing that you would actually be there."

"Oh..." Beca said.

"Yeah, oh." Aubrey said, though her tone was a bit gentler this time. "So now Beca, do you want to tel me what you're doing?"

"I don't know Aubrey, I really don't," Beca said truthfully.

"Yes, you do." Aubrey said. "You just don't want to tell me."

"I really don't though!" Beca sighed.

"Oh... wow..." Aubrey sighed, shaking her head.

"What?" Beca snapped, "What's with the oh and the head shaking?"

"You're lying to yourself Beca." Aubrey said simply. "You're running from the truth, and until then, you're just going to continue living in this illusion dream world."

"Excuse me?" Beca scoffed, "I'm not lying to myself, or living an illusion dream world are you say."

"But you are," Aubrey said sadly, "And I think you know this too."

"What are you talking about?" Beca growled.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Beca." Aubrey laughed, "And I'm going to leave now, unless you want to actually talk."

"Oh don't try that reverse psychology shit on me!" Beca growled. "You're the one who wanted to talk Aubrey. now talk!"

"Excuse me?" Aubrey asked, amused.

"Don't bullshit with me right now Aubrey." Beca growled.

"I'm not though." Aubrey said calmly.

"Aubrey," Beca growled dangerously.

"Beca, the only one here that is, as you say, bullshitting is you." Aubrey said seriously.

Beca just sighed, rather then answer. Did she really know what she was doing? No, not really. Did she know what she wanted? No, not at all. Did she even know how she felt about Chloe right now? Oh hell no.

"I really don't know right now Aubrey..." Beca said quietly. "I really don't."

"Then tell me what you do know." Aubrey said, "And then I'll help you with the rest."

"But that's the thing." Beca sighed, "I don't think I know anything right now."

"Alright then." Aubrey said, "Then how do you feel about Chloe?"

"Do we have to start with the hard question?" Beca whined.

"Its the important question, so yes." Aubrey smirked. "Now, spill Mitchell."

"I'm not sure..." Beca sighed. "I think I still love, her. Actually, I don't know if I ever stopped. But I do know I don't feel the same. I use to always feel safe around Chloe. Like nothing could ever go wrong as long as she and I were together. Now though... I just don't feel it anymore Aubrey. I feel on edge around her. i don't feel safe, and I worry that she's going to leave again."

"Do you still love her?" Aubrey asked quietly.

"I don't know." Beca sighed. "I really don't."

* * *

Warren paced about in the hotel room. Though he had tried to make his peace with Chloe, something was still bothering him. Rubbing his left shoulder, Warren sat down on the bed and took out his ex-wife's picture.

"Lina, Lina, Lina..." Warren sighed, "What am I going to do?"

Laying down, Warren felt a twinge of discomfort from his left side. For the past few hours, he'd felt off, and now this? it really was a pain in the ass. Rolling over onto his right side, Warren winced a bit. Damn, it really hurt. Suddenly, it felt as though someone had stabbed him. Sharp pain shot through his entire body, as he felt himself begin to convulse. Fumbling for his phone, Warren tried to call for help.

As another wave of pain ripped through him, Warren dropped his phone. As the pain intensified, Warren could feel himself sipping away. Black dots began to encroach on his vision, and it felt as though the world was spinning.

"AAAHHH!" Warren yelled, in pain.

It was too much. It hurt, he couldn't breath, he couldn't breath! The whole room was spinning, but he wasn't moving. Was he moving? AH! The pain. What was happening? He couldn't move, couldn't think. It was too much it hurt! He convulsed and screamed.

Then suddenly, all was still. Absolutely still.

* * *

**MWAHAHAHAHA!** **What did I do noooow? CLIFFHANGER! What? I can't help it. It's my thing guys! So how was that? Was it everything you though it would be and moooooore? Altight, I'm done now. Onto you guys!  
**

**cxcxcx386: Yes, yes it was. I really hate fics where people always just poof, work everything out. That really doesn't happen, and if Beca was a real person, don't you think she'd try and avoid shit at all costs? And I try too keep my dear readers hooked. What's the point in reading a boring fic? As far as Bree's cutting goes, I totes see her as being ridiculously meticulous about the whole thing. And yeah, Aubrey's got issues, just like the rest of them. This fic isn't centered around one person, or ever Beca and Chloe. Its centered around an idea. And yes. Some one has to die. Preferable everyone, but i dunno. WARREN DIED! Or did he? :)**

**And I don't think readers can see the view count. Right now its at almost 8,100.**

**Hakuna-fucking-matata: So did i bring it, or did I bring it? And I'm not even done yet. MWAHAHAHAHA. Hate me if you wish, but it ain't gonna do shit. If you wanna fuck though, why didn't you just tell me? Where and when my dearie. ;)**

**mysterypeep7: lol, I get it. As is human nature though, we all tend to focus on our own pain, our own problems rather then the pain of others. I'm glad you love this fic though :)**

**IC16: Happy endings suck. They're not realistic, and they bore me. Have a virtual tissue though. You'll need it for the next couple of chapters.**

**Msweeny1997: oops. I think I may have killed Warren. HA NOW YOU FEEL BAD! YOU KILLED HIM! Tsk, tsk, tsk. I wonder how Beca's going to take this... MWAHAHAHAHA. And just wait my friend. Everything will come together. I promise.**

**To everyone else: I asked for more reviews, not less! Meanies. I see you reading! Please, just three words. Tell me if you like it or not! I'm a teenage girl. Insecurities are my best friend. I need constant reassurance that I can actually write, and that I'm not being a disillusion bitch. I'm done now. Just please, review :)**


	13. When i'm gone

**Greetings Mortals! I have returned! So I'm a bitch, I know. Cliffhangers aren't nice, but they're so much fun to write. So yeah. AND I GOTS A LOT OF NICE REVIEWS! YAY! You all sooo nice to meeeee! Now I'm going to update as a thank you to all of you lovely mortals. :)  
**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
_ Two bottle whiskey for the way_  
_ And I sure would like some sweet company_  
_ And I'm leaving tomorrow. What d'you say?_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my hair_  
_ You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my walk_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_ I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
_ The one with the prettiest of views_  
_ It's got mountains, it's got rivers_  
_ It's got sights to give you shivers_  
_ But it sure would be prettier with you_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my walk_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my hair_  
_ You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_  
_ You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my walk_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_  
**_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_**

* * *

Beca stoically sat in the front pew of the church. Around here, friends and family cried and expressed their apologies and condolences to her, however, Beca barely even noticed. The entire thing was a like dream to her. Around her, others bustled about, cried, talked, but to Beca, nothing seemed right or real. Everything had a hazy dream-like look to it. Voices were muffled, and faces were blurred. Was she even here? What was even going on?

Her father wasn't dead. She just saw him a couple days ago. The nurse that told her he had died was the bitch nurse. Everyone was just playing a cruel joke on her. Any minute now, someone would jump out and say April Fools and everyone would laugh, and her father would come out, and then everything would be better. But it wasn't April though... This had to be a joke though, it had to be. Because if it wasn't, then Beca would be alone again, and she didn't think she could handle that.

She may not have gotten along well wither her father, but he was still her father, and over the past few years, they'd finally started to get close again. Warren was finally acting like her father, and Beca loved that. She never told him that. She never told him a lot of things, and now she couldn't...

Beca closed her eyes, as once more, hot salty tears burned their way down her face. She seemed to be crying a lot these days, and it sucked. She didn't want to cry anymore. She just wanted everything to go back to normal. Let everything go back to the way they were. Beca was happy, Chloe was happy, life was easy and care free, and her father. He father was alive.

A strangled sob tore its way though her. Her father. Her dad. He was gone. She could never sit around the living room, debating books with her father, could never breathe in the strong scent of his cologne, never see his lopsided smile again. She'd never hear him call her his baby girl. Though she pouted and claimed she hated the name, it made her heart flutter happily in her chest every time. She'd never hear him call her his baby anymore though. Though that wasn't the worst part. What made this even worse, what out weighed every other thing, was that this entire thing was all her fault.

If she hadn't been so stupid, if she hadn't been so dramatic, this all could have been avoided. She caused her father too much stress, and caused his premature heart attack. For God's sake, the man wasn't even 50 yet! And now he was gone. in a few hours, they'd lower his body into the ground, and that would be the last Beca's ever saw of him. Because of her.

"Hey..." A man's voice said to Beca.

Looking up, Beca saw the last person she thought she'd ever see here.

"Jesse..." Beca breathed.

"Are you- are you...?" Jesse trailed off, "You know what, fuck that. You're not alright, so I'm not even gonna ask."

"How do you know?" Beca sniffed, doing her best to hide her inner anguish, "I could be perfectly fine and am just putting this entire sad front up."

"Bullshit." Jesse said simply, "I know you and your father weren't on the best of terms, but he was still your dad, and I know you miss him. I also know you probably blame yourself, so before you say anything else, I'm going to tell you its not your fault."

"But it is!" Beca said angrily, tears once more pouring down her face. "I put too much stress on him, and he had a heart-"

"No you didn't!" Jesse said angrily, silencing Beca;s protest, "This was a terrible thing, but it wasn't your fault. It was some shitty ass preordained thing that sucks, but it happened."

"But it shouldn't have!" Beca sobbed, "He shouldn't be-"

The last word caught in her throat. Dead. He couldn't be, shouldn't be, but he was. Now she got why people always said passed on, or other cheesy shit like that. Because saying the word dead... It was just too hard. It made everything that much more real, made the entire situation that much worse. It seemed as though Jesse knew though, and instead of saying anything else, he just wrapped her in a hug, and whispered soothing things into her ear.

"Shh..." Jesse whispered, "Its alright. I know it sucks, just let it out. Shh..."

Clutching Jesse's shirt, Beca sobbed into him. Her tears were soaked into Jesse's shirt, and soon, there was a wet patch where her face was. However she didn't care. Practically choking on each sob, Beca unloaded everything onto Jesse, not even caring about trying to act strong. She wasn't strong, and Jesse was one of four people, now three who knew this. Finally, as the sobs died down, Beca looked up.

"Sorry Jess." Beca sniffed, wiping away the remnants of her tears, "I just-"

"Its fine Becs." Jesse said, "I don't like this shirt anyway. You're lucky though. If this was my Treble sweatshirt though, you'd be in big trouble."

"Ass." Beca chuckled weakly.

"Where?" Jesse said, "I'm single right now, and I'd love some."

"You're dick." Beca laughed.

"I know." Jesse smiled, "And you're a cunt, which is why me and you should be together and make beautiful aca-children."

"Dork!" Beca laughed, genuinely laughed, at her friend's antics.

"Aca-scuse me?" Jesse said, doing his best impression of Aubrey, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Behind him, he heard someone cough. Looking back, he saw a very unimpressed looking Aubrey standing behind him.

"BUSTED!" Beca laughed.

"Aubrey, oh umm.. Hi!" Jesse stammered, "I was uh. I just-"

"mm hmm." Aubrey glared. "Sure you were."

"I um- uuh I just I um..." Jesse fumbled, as Aubrey glared at him.

By now, Beca was in a fit, laughing as Jesse withered under Aubrey's irked glare.

"You know Jesse..." Aubrey sneered, "I really don't like Trebles. But do you know who I hate even more?"

"Umm no...?" Jesse gulped.

"You." Aubrey sneered. Beside her, Jesse was practically trembling.

"BOO!" Aubrey yelled, scaring Jesse away.

With a yelp, Jesse sprang up and literally sprinted away. With a smirk, Aubrey sat down in the chair Jesse was just in, looking very pleased with herself.

"So how long did it take you two to plan that?" Beca asked, as her laughter finally died down.

"Excuse me?" Aubrey asked, though she looked a little sheepish.

"I'm not dumb Aubrey." Beca smirked, "Jesse may be a goof, but he's not that bad."

"Fine." Aubrey huffed, "We just did though, a couple minutes ago."

"Riiiight." Beca smirked.

"We did!" Aubrey said.

"Whatevs." Beca shrugged, "Thanks though. I needed that."

"No problem," Aubrey smiled, "Anything for the hobbit."

"Dude!" Beca exclaimed, "Not nice! You're suppose to be nice to me?"

"But I was being nice!" Aubrey smirked, "I only called you a hobbit. I'll have you know I loved those books!"

"Yeah..." Beca sighed, her earlier happiness gone

"Oh shit Beca I'm sorry." Aubrey said quickly, as she realized what she just said, "I didn't mean-"

"Its fine." Beca said sadly, waving Aubrey off. "I just... This just needs to really sink in. Its weird you know? He was just here, and now." Beca mimed with her hands, "Poof. He's not."

"I know." Aubrey said sympathetically, "I know..."

"Do you though?" Beca asked, "Do you know what its like to have your parent die? Because all day people have said they know how it feels, but they don't they really don't!"

"Actually, yeah, I do." Aubrey said, "My mom died when I was fourteen. Drunk driver."

"I- shit Aubrey, I didn't-" Beca apologized.

"No, its fine. I've had time to get over it." Aubrey sighed, "Trust me, I get it. Your hurt right now. Perhaps a bit angry. Most likely feeling a tad guilty. Defiantly sad. Maybe a bit confused, and I'd bet you're still in denial too."

"Yeah..." Beca gaped, "Exactly that. How did you...?"

"Because I know this stuff." Aubrey said, "I went through something similar when I was younger. Plus, you and I are rather similar Mitchell, whether you like it or not."

"Yeah... I know." Beca sighed, surprising Aubrey.

She had expected Beca to deny that, to make some sort of sarcastic remark, almost anything but a sad admittance. To be honest, that really threw Aubrey off.

"What, nothing more to say Posen?" Beca smirked, "Expected something different?"

"Yes actually." Aubrey admitted.

"Well, surprise!" Beca said, "Your right though. We've just handled our daddy issues differently. My mom died too, you know. I was 16 though."

"Oh..." Aubrey said, at a loss for words, "Beca I-"

"Sorry?" Beca finished, "What for? You didn't even know me then."

"Actually I was going to say that I was surprised with you." Aubrey smirked. "Trust me, I hated it when people said they were sorry for my loss and shit like that."

"Oh..." Beca said, "Right, well then-"

"Have you talked to Chloe yet?" Aubrey asked, suddenly changing the topic.

"What?" Beca asked confused.

"Chloe," Aubrey said, "Have you talked to her?"

"Seriously?" Beca asked, "Is this really the time?"

"Its never going to be the time." Aubrey said simply, "Might as well get everything over with today."

"I hate you Posen." Beca grumbled.

"Lovely." Aubrey said, as she walked away. "Talk to Chloe!" Aubrey yelled over her shoulder.

Beca slumped back down in her chair. Did Aubrey seriously just tell her to talk to Chloe? Like what the fuck! This was her father's fucking funeral, and Aubrey wanted her to go talk to Chloe NOW? What even? As Beca sat in her chair seething, she didn't notice the exact person she'd been avoiding walk up to her until it was too late.

"Beca, I'm so sorry." Chloe said.

"Why?" Beca sighed, not even looking up. "It wasn't your fault it-"

"Wasn't yours either." Chloe said.

"But it was!" Beca said, finally looking up It- oh."

Beca trailed off, as she took in Chloe's appearance. She was wearing a nice black dress, and her usual unruly mane of red hair was tied up. However, that wasn't what made Beca stop short. In Chloe's arms, there was a baby. Her baby, if the little tuft of bright red hair, and deep cerulean eyes were anything to go by.

"Shit, is that...?" Beca breathed

"Yeah." Chloe said, "This is Baylie. Mind if I sit down?"

"No. no, I mean, yeah, I mean, sit down... if you want" Beca fumbled, scooching over a bit.

"Thanks." Chloe said, as she sat down.

For a moment, neither spoke, both too lost in their own thoughts. Beca's mind was in overdrive. She was sitting next to Chloe. Who had her baby with her. Her BABY. What the hell? What was she suppose to say? How did she even say anything?

Chloe was faring no better. She to was thinking far too much. Her mother had shown up in Barden the minute she told her that Warren had died, bringing along Baylie with her. This most certainly wasn't the ideal time or place for Beca to meet Baylie, and Chloe was exceedingly nervous as to how this would go. What was she suppose to tell Beca, how was she suppose to bring this up. What was she even suppose to say?

Thankfully, it was Baylie who finally broke the uncomfortable silence. As she began to cry, she broke each woman out of their own thoughts.

"Shh... Its okay." Chloe said quickly, rocking Baylie back and forth, "I got you. Shh..."

"You know, I should just go..." Beca say, inching away.

"You'll do nothing of the sort, my dear" Mrs. Beale said, as she scooped Baylie out of Chloe's arms. "I've got the baby. You two talk. Now."

"Mom!" Chloe protested. "What even?"

However, Mrs. Beale had already left, once more leaving the two women alone.

"Shit, Beca, I'm sorry about that." Chloe said.

"Its fine." Beca said, "Aubrey did the same thing."

"Right..." Chloe trailed off.

"So what do we do now?" Beca asked helplessly.

"What do you mean?" Chloe asked.

"What do we do?" Beca repeated, "What do we even talk about?"

"Where do we stand Beca" Chloe asked. "I know just as well as you that things aren't as good as you want them to be. You're not as alright as you pretend, and honestly, neither am I. So I think its time that we finally spill. The truth and only the truth now, okay?"

"Yeah." Beca agreed, "So where do we start then?'

"With you." Chloe said. "I hurt you, and everything right now boils down to what you want. So Beca, I need you to tell me how you really are now, if you even want there to be an us anymore."

"Truthfully?" Beca sighed, "I don't know. Chloe, you really fuck me up when you left. I don't feel the same around you anymore. I use to fell safe, but now... Now, I feel on edge. I want to run right now, but I won't. Yet. I want there to be an us, I really do. but I just don't know if I can handle you leaving. I know you say that you won't, but you said that before, you know? The threat's always going to be there."

"I know." Chloe sighed softly, "And I get it. I'm not going to lie, I really still love you, I never stopped though. I want there to be an us again, so badly, but if you don't want that, then I get it. I'm not going to tell you that I'll never leave again, because my word probably means nothing to you. But if you'll let me, I'd love to be able to prove this to you for the rest of my life."

"So what do we do Chloe?" Beca asked.

"I don't know. I really don't." Chloe sighed.

* * *

The rest of the service went by in a blur. More people came up to offer their condolences, but Beca just sat there, mulling the entire situation over. She was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't even remember what the minister said, she didn't remember walking past her father's coffin, nothing. But now, here she was, in the car as they drove to the cemetery to put Warren Mitchell, her farther to rest.

"We're here miss." The driver said.

"Oh, right..." Beca said. They were here already?

The bright sunlight nearly blinded her, as Beca stepped out of the car. Bull fucking shit, it rained on sad days like this. The sky was perfectly fucking clear, and the sun was shining. Everything was practically MOCKING Ceca with its cheeriness. She could almost hear the birds chirping 'ha ha, We're happy, and you're not bitch!'

Walking up the path to where Warren Mitchell's grave would be, the sadness that had been fended away by all of the other happenings of the day, finally tumbled back to her. Her father was dead now. She had to accept that now. He was dead now, and wasn't coming back. What was she suppose to do now.

Standing at the edge of her daddy's grave, Beca let her tears fall once more. In her hand. she clutched a handful of dirt to throw into the grave. Closing her eyes, Beca remembered her last conversation with her dad.

* * *

_Beca sat in her hospital bed, mulling over the Chloe situation. Chloe had only just left a few minutes ago, and Beca's head swam with her own thoughts. Adding Chloe into the mix, Beca was sure her head would explode soon. Suddenly, a soft rapping on her door startled her._

_"hey, Its me..." Warren said, outside, "Can I come in."_

_"Yeah, come in!" Beca called._

_"Hey baby girl." Warren smiled. "How you feeling."_

_"Better if you wouldn't call me a baby." Beca huffed, "I'm 23 for Christ's sake! I'm not a baby."_

_"Sorry Beca." Warren laughed, though he didn't seem sorry at all. "I'm a dad, and though I haven't been a very good one recently, your still my baby girl. I can't help it."_

_"Ugh." Beca groaned, "First of all, your not sorry. You're not sorry at all. Second, you've made your mistakes, I've made my mistakes, that's whatever. Past is the past, right? You're here now, so lets just leave it there. I seriously can't handle anymore mushy feelings or shit like that today. I swear to God, if we have one of those heart to heart now, my head's gonna explode."_

_"Alright then, should I just leave then?" Warren asked._

_"Nooooo..." Beca huffed. "What's up daddy-o?"_

_"Right now? I'm not sure." Warren said honestly. "I just talked to Chloe a few hours ago, and yeah.."_

_"Lovely." Beca sighed, "So whatcha got for me now? More hate for Chloe, because I really can't-"_

_"Actually, I was going to tell you to do what you think is right." Warren said._

_"And I don't feel like hearing, wait what?" Beca said._

_"Beca, do what you want." Warren said. "I'm not Chloe's biggest fan, only because she left you though. You know you, and if Chloe is what makes you happy, then go marry the girl. With my blessing. I only ever wanted you to be happy Beca. I've done my best to protect you, and I've realized that in doing so, I've probably made your life harder. So, do what you want, and I'll be behind you 150%."_

_"Really?" Beca asked, shocked._

_"Yeah, really." Warren laughed, "Just do what you think is right and what will make you happy, and I'll never complain."_

_"So Chloe...?" Beca asked._

_"Is perfectly fine with me." Warren smiled, as he got up. "That's all I had to say, so yeah."_

_"Dad?" Beca called, as Warren reached the door.  
_

_"Yeah?" Warren asked, turning around._

_"I love you." Beca smiled._

_"I love you too Beca, so much." Warren smiled._

* * *

"I love you dad..." Beca said, as her tears fell into the grave, "I never told you that enough, but I do."

Throwing the dirt in her hand into the grave, the gentle sound it made almost broke her heart. The light brown color of the dirt barely stood out against of the glossy wood of the. As more people stepped up to the grave, Beca stood by and watched as hand full after handful, her father's coffin disappeared. Soon, only a small corner of the wood was visible. As the last person stepped up, Beca saw a familiar flash of red.

"I'm so sorry Beca." Chloe said, as she threw in her handful.

Instead of answering, Beca just turned her head and continued to cry silently. As Chloe walked away, the grave diggers came and started to throw shovel after shovel full into the grave. Each time the dirt landed in the grave, it made a dull thumping sound.

Biting her lip, Beca stood by, as her father's grave was filled up. Every thud felt like a blow to the heart to her, and yet she couldn't tear herself away. Slowly but surly, the hole was filled up, and soon, Beca was standing alone. Falling to her knees, Beca placed her hands on her father's tombstone.

"Bye dad." Beca said.

Drying her eyes, Beca stood up, a new purpose in her step. She knew what she was going to do now, and it made her feel better. She wasn't lost anymore, she wasn't sad, she was Beca once more. Turning, Beca found Chloe sitting a small distance off, obviously waiting for Beca.

"Hey..." Chloe said quietly as Beca approached.

"Hey..." Beca said.

"So...?" Chloe asked

"I'm done Chloe." Beca said sadly, though no tears fell. "I'm leaving."

"What?" Chloe said. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah. I'm going to go to LA, live my dream." Beca said. "Its what he would have wanted, I think."

"I'm coming with you then." Chloe said.

"No, you're not." Beca said. "We're over Chloe. I can't do this anymore."

Beca turned away abruptly, leaving a shattered Chloe behind her.

* * *

**MWAHAHAHA! UNPREDICTABLE! Actually, that was kinda predictable, but whatever. YOU ALL SO NICE TO MEEEE! What happens now? I don't know... Actually I do, but I love to hear ideas. So, I'm done now. Onto all of you guys now!  
**

**Chile101: This fic is going to hurt you. Sorry! Don't hurt meeeeeee!**

**IC16: I don't know mate, I really don't.**

**Msweeny1997: Feel bad my friend, feel bad. You ended Bechloe. So feel bad. You've broken their hearts. lol... I'm kidding. I've had this planned for a while now. **

**hakuna-fucking-matata: How can you be done with me if we were never together? And I just agreed, BTW. You asked, not me. but hey, offer's still open if you want ;)**

**Karen: DAAAAW :) You make me happy with your review! I try to write things as they would happen, and is that not how life is? When bad things happen, they stay with you, until you can find closure. Life goes on, and happiness can still be found, however, the bad thing is always on your mind. On that note, writing feedback is like my second favorite part of writing. I love being able to actually write feedback! That means that people like my fic, and then they say nice things XD And I hope you keep reviewing! I'll keep writing if you keep reviewing, deal?  
**

**BardenBellaBeca: YOU READ THIS TOO? Aca-awesomeness! Alright, I'm done. And Happy ending.. umm... like I said, I'm a high school student, so yeah. I don't have much. you can try to sue me, but cha ain't gonna get much.**

**Youshouldntbereal: First, I am real, I promise. Second, flattery will get you everywhere Ash, so watch, soon, all will be revealed.**

**cxcxcx386: My dearie, as always, you're reviews are spot on. Think f broken glass. At the impact point, you see sever breakage, and all that. But the break doesn't end at the impact point. It spreads outwards, and spiders. And if left untreated, it will continue to spread. Isn't life like that too? One event can have so many unforeseen results, and effect so many more people then you would have thought.  
**

**Positiveoutcomesonly: Warren is dead, I assure you. And people are stupid, especially the emotionally retarded.**

**To everyone else: Thank you for reading! I love reviews, and you guys totes delivered this time. 13 reviews! WOOT! new personal best XD But seriously, you're awesome, and it would be very nice if i could get some more reviews... This fic is almost over to, BTW, so yeah. Thank you all for your support. We out now Mortals! **


	14. Red

**Greetings my lovely aca-mortals! I have returned, everyone cheer. So yeah guys, this is it. Almost, but that will be explained later. I feel the need to thank you all so much for all the support, the follows, the reviews, favorites, the everything. It's been aca-awesome, and I hope to see you all again soon. **

**As an importantish side note, I'm writing ****_The Future Holds Many Surprises_**** with the lovely and extremely talented Becky Astin-Camp, and I'd love it if my lovely mortals would read that too and tell me what you think. I'm done begging for reads and reviews now :)**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

**Red**

_Loving her is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_  
_Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly_  
_Loving her is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall_  
_Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all_

_Losing her was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing her was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_But loving her was red_  
_Loving her was red_

_Touching her was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you_  
_Memorizing her was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song_  
_Fighting with her was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer_  
_Regretting her was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong_

_Losing her was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing her was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_But loving her was red_  
_Oh, red_  
_Burning red_

_Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes_  
_Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go_  
_But moving on from her is impossible_  
_When I still see it all in my head_  
_In burning red_  
_Burning, it was red_

_Oh, losing her was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing her was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_'Cause loving her was red_  
_Yeah, yeah, red_  
_We're burning red_

_ And that's why she's spinnin' 'round in my head_  
_Comes back to me, burning red_  
_Yeah, yeah_

_ Her love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_

* * *

Chloe sat in her room, curled up in a ball. Though she felt as though she should be crying, no tears fell. Her heart was shattered, broken beyond repair by the same words that she had used to break Beca's heart. Funny how that worked. It was only a year ago that their positions had been reversed. Only a year ago that it was Chloe leaving, and Beca grieving. Now that Chloe was in Beca's position though, she regretted leaving even more. It felt as though her heart physically hurt, as though where her heart once was, an empty void now stood. A void where Beca once was, but was now torn away. It hurt like hell too. It hurt so fucking much, Chloe was surprised that she didn't implode, that the void didn't suck her up, and drown her. Still, she did not cry though. She could not cry. She was done crying. She was done with everything.

How long she sat there was unknown to her. Without Beca, everything had lost its meaning to Chloe. Days, hours, minutes, and seconds. They meant nothing to her. Time had lost meaning, and it seemed as though everything was on pause right now. However, this didn't bother Chloe. For all she cared, the Armageddon could come now and kill everyone. Life meant nothing to her now, without Beca. What was even the purpose of life without Beca?

She told herself, told Aubrey, told everyone that she'd be alright if Beca couldn't forgive her. She told them that it would suck, but that she could and would get over it eventually. She thought she was ready for it, thought she could handle it if that was what should come. She thought she was prepared for it. Nothing could have prepared her for this though. Now that Beca rejected her, now that this was a reality, now that Beca didn't want her, Chloe realized that she couldn't do this. Beca was everything, and now Beca was gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

Closing her eyes, Chloe tried to remember a time when Beca and Chloe were Beca and Chloe. When they were the dynamic duo. The perfect couple. Soul mates. The halves of the same heart. The two that were so in love, that people around them would laugh with them. To her, such a time seemed like a life time ago. Were they ever even together? Was it all just some lovely dream? If it was, Chloe desperately wanted to go back to sleep once more.

What was she suppose to do now? Ever since meeting Beca, the little alt girl at the activities fair, everything Chloe did was about Beca. Even when she left, Chloe was thinking of Beca. But what was she to do now that Beca was no longer an option. Beca said it herself. They were over. The final scene in the epic love story that was their life. Now that the curtain has fallen though, what was she suppose to do?

Life was empty without Beca, and Chloe wished that it could all just end...

* * *

Beca paced about her now empty room once more. Warren had left Beca everything, and now Beca had almost nothing but some money in a bank and herself. Yesterday, she'd sold everything she could, furniture, jewelry, books, everything and anything. Whatever was left, Beca had donated or just threw away. Even the house, her father's home, the place she grew up in, wasn't spared. She'd sold it to a couple of guys who flipped houses, for a fraction of what it was worth, but she didn't care. She wanted to be done with this place, to close up this chapter of her life. She wished that she could just box all the pain and emotions that had been bred here, and then leave them all behind. Everything just hurt right now, and Beca was done with it.

However, life didn't work like that, and now running was the only thing left for Beca to do. As Beca stood in what was once her room, she took one last inventory of what she had. It wasn't much either. All that she had left to her name was her luggage, her mixing equipment, and a nicely sized cardboard box full of pictures, souvenirs of trips past, and a random assortment of little things that she found she couldn't bare to let go of.

With a sigh, Beca stopped pacing, and instead stood in front of the box. Crouching down, Beca picked up a picture frame out of the box.

Choking back a sob, Beca gazed at the last family photo the Mitchell family ever had. Both of her parents were alive then, and Beca had been so happy. No one had ever left her yet, and it most certainly showed. Her goofy eleven year old smile, her bright clothing, the slight twinkle in her eyes, all proof that Beca Mitchell was still an innocent child. The harsh truth of reality still had not tainted her soul, had not dulled her spark.

With trembling hands, Beca carefully placed the picture back into the box. With a sigh, Beca sat down and curled up into a ball, placing her head in her hands. However, despite the feeling that she should be crying, despite almost wanting to cry, no tears would come. Idly, Beca wondered if she'd shed all of her tears over the past few days and no longer had anymore to cry.

Outside, a car horn honked, letting Beca know that the cab that was taking Beca to LA was here. Suddenly, a thought struck Beca. She had come to Barden in a cab, and now she was leaving in one. For some reason, she found this to be incredibly hilarious and began to laugh. Perhaps it was because Beca was seriously sleep deprived, or perhaps it was because her emotional sanity was hanging by a thread, but what ever the reason, Beca could not stop laughing. As tears rolled down her face, the cab driver honked one more, bringing Beca back to reality.

Taking a deep breath to calm down, Beca stood up. Gathering all of her things up, Beca walked down the stairs one last time. Once more, the urge to cry struck her. This would be the last time she was in this house. Last time she would walk down these stairs. The last time she would be in Barden.

As Beca opened the door, she handed her stuff to the cabbie to load up. Beca went to follow him to the car, but she felt as though something was holding her in place. It almost felt as though both her parents were there, telling her to not go. Beca shook her head, almost as though doing so would shake away the feeling. Taking a small step out of the house, Beca had the urge to look back one last time.

Behind her, an empty house was all the greeted her. No ghosts of her parents, nothing. Just an empty house. Funny, Beca almost expected to see something, however, this wasn't a movie. This was real life, and in real life, ghosts don't exist. With a sigh, Beca closed the door one last time and walked down the front walk.

"You ready to go miss?" The cabbie asked.

Beca paused. Was she ready to go? Was she really ready to leave everything and everyone she'd ever known? Was she really ready to go start a new life and leave her old one behind? Could she even do it? Barden had been her home, yes, home, not place of residence, not house, but home over the past few years.

After her father left, Beca never really let herself have a home, but rather a house or apartment. She never allowed herself to grow attached to a place, never felt comfortable anywhere, never felt like she belonged. But Barden had become just that. Beca felt comfortable here. She felt as though she had actually belonged here. Was she ready to give this up?

"Miss?" The cabbie asked.

"What?" Beca asked, shaken out of her reverie.

"You ready?" The cabbie repeated.

"Oh right, yeah." Beca said.

Blushing a bit, Beca realized that she'd been standing in front of the cab for some time now. Handing the cab driver the rest of her stuff, Beca stepped into the cab, and once more, she felt an odd pang in her chest. What was happening to her? She should feel excited! She was off to LA to go live her dream, and yet. Yet she felt as though something was wrong, like something was missing.

As the cab drove away, Beca turned placed her head against the window. Through the window, Beca watched as her house became a speck, and then finally disappeared. Turning back around, Beca closed her eyes and pulled up her headphones. Scrolling though her ipod, Beca put it on shuffle, and almost laughed as she heard the first chords of an oh so familiar song begin to play. As she she moved to change the song, she stopped herself. Why not?

Leaning her head back, Beca began to quietly sing along.

_I was thinking 'bout her, thinkin 'bout me_  
_ Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be_  
_ Open my eyes yeah, it was only just a dream_  
_ So I travelled back down that road_  
_ Will she come back? No one knows_  
_ I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream_

Laughing to herself, Beca couldn't help but to think of how true the lyrics were. Chloe was just a dream now. She actually had always just been a dream. Well, Beca's awake now, and Chloe's gone.

"You have a lovely voice" The can driver said.

"Thanks." Beca laughed.

However, her laugh died in her throat all too soon. The brief conversation brought back more painful memories to mind. Biting her lip Beca closed her eyes once more, and willed Barden to go away. She was so done with all of this, was so done feeling like shit, just so done just feeling in general. She just wanted to go to LA and leave it all behind. It was time for her to start a new life, time for her to move on.

* * *

Aubrey was angry. No, that wasn't right. She was far more then just angry right now. She was fucking pissed off beyond belief right now. Once again, Beca and Chloe had decided that their asses would make lovely hats, and now, they were ruining what could very well be their last chance at salvaging their relationship.

Storming into Chloe's room, Aubrey slammed the door behind her, in an attempt to get Chloe's attention. However, Chloe was far to deep into her little pity party to even notice Aubrey glowering in front of her. Aubrey cleared her throat loudly, however Chloe made no move to acknowledge her presence.

"For serious Chloe?" Aubrey barked.

Chloe didn't answer, didn't even look up. Instead, she just sat there, curled up into her little ball and slowly rocked back and forth, lost in her own world. Storming over to the blinds, Aubrey opened them up, letting the sunlight stream though. Still no response form Chloe. With a sigh, Aubrey walked over to the bed once more. If this was the game Chloe wanted to play, so be it. With a grunt, Aubrey pushed Chloe off the bed.

"What the hell Aubrey!" Chloe spluttered.

"You need to stop being such an ass hat." Aubrey said.

"Excuse me?" Chloe said, already moving to go back onto the bed.

"Nope." Aubrey said, cutting her off, "You're going to get off of your sad ginger ass and go get Beca back."

"She doesn't want me anymore Aubrey." Chloe growled, "Now just leave me alone!"

"NO!" Aubrey roared, "I will not just leave you alone. You need to do this, and you need to do it before its too late. Chloe, Beca's about to go across the country, and you may never see her again-"

"I KNOW!" Chloe roared back, "Don't you fucking think that I don't know this? I fucking do, alright?! And it fucking kills me-"

"Then go do something about it!" Aubrey yelled back, "She's not gone yet, and you can still get her back. This doesn't have to be-"

"Yes it does!" Chloe shot back, "She doesn't want me anymore, and I should respect that! I fucking hurt her too badly, and now I have to live with that. I'm not-"

"Going to sit here and slip back into a depression!" Aubrey snarled, "I watched you fall apart one time, and I have no intention of doing so again."

"THEN GO!" Chloe cried, tears rushing down her face. "Just leave! I-"

"I WILL NOT LEAVE!" Aubrey roared, "GOD DAMN IT CHLOE! YOUR MY BEST FRIEND! YOU'VE STOOD BY ME AT MY WORST, AND NOW I WILL DO THE SAME! NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAUL YOUR ASS DOWN TO THE AIRPORT AND FIX THIS ACA-FUCKING MESS RIGHT NOW!"

For a minute, neither girl spoke. Instead, each girl stood her ground, glaring at the other, daring one to break. As it should come as no surprise, Aubrey was the one who won this silent contest. With a cry, Chloe lurched into Aubrey's arms and sobbed into her arms. Clutching her friends close, Aubrey wished that she could take some of Chloe's pain and just take it away. It broke her heart to see her once vivacious and happy friend now so withdrawn and depressed.

"Shh... Its okay, I got you." Aubrey whispered, tears of her own sliding down her face.

However, this only caused Chloe to cry harder. Little did Aubrey know that right now, Chloe hated that Aubrey was always there for her and so strong right now. Chloe hated the fact that she was so broken, hated that she was so sad. Aubrey's strength only served as a reminder that she didn't deserve a friend like that. This entire fiasco was her fault, and she was dragging Aubrey down with her.

"Y-y-you shouldn't tho-o-ough," Chloe choked out.

"But I do, so deal with it Beale." Aubrey said, trying to lighten the mood.

Pulling away, Chloe looked Aubrey in the eye.

"You shouldn't though." Chloe said, struggling to keep her voice steady, "This is all my fault, and I'm just dragging you down. You should be-"

"Its no one's fault, okay?" Aubrey said firmly, cutting Chloe off, "You can't play the blame game. If you want to do that, blame the bastard that raped you. But this isn't your fault. We don't have time for this now though. Right now, as we speak, Beca's slipping away from you. This could be your last chance to get her back, to be together."

"But-" Chloe began.

"No buts." Aubrey said, "Do you still love Beca?"

"Yes but-" Chloe said.

"No buts!" Aubrey reminded, "Do you still want to be with her?"

"Yeah, but-" Chloe tried again.

"AH!" Aubrey snapped,"No buts, remember?"

"So then what am I suppose to do?" Chloe asked helplessly, "Beca's probably on her way out now."

"Chloe," Aubrey said seriously, "You still love Beca. You said that yourself. I know you want another chance, so now you need to go take it! Go to the airport now, and stop Beca from making the biggest mistake of her adult life."

"But I don't know-" Chloe began.

"I though I said no buts!" Aubrey said, "Now go!

"I don't know if I can though." Chloe said.

"Chloe, you've done far more radical things then go to an airport to tell someone something." Aubrey said, "Like the time you jumped off of a boat to save a dog that fell overboard." Here, both girls laughed at the memory, "Or the time you ran in to oncoming traffic because you were late for a rehearsal."

"You're really hard to argue with Bree." Chloe sighed.

"Well duh!" Aubrey smirked, "I'm a lawyer. I'm suppose to be hard to argue with!"

Both girls laughed at this. When their laughter died down though, Aubrey raised an expectant eyebrow. Chloe looked up, confused.

"Aren't you suppose to be doing something?"Aubrey asked.

"What?" Chloe asked.

"What the in the aca-hell are you waiting for? An invitation?" Aubrey shrieked, "Go woman, go! You have a plane to stop and a girl to get back!"

"Oh, right!" Chloe said, as she rushed to the door, "Thanks Bree!"

However before Aubrey could say anything, Chloe had slammed the door and was already sprinting towards her car. With a tired sigh, Aubrey sat down on the bed. Who knew that saving her friends' relationship would be so fucking hard?

* * *

Chloe practically burst out of her car when she pulled up to the airport, not even bothering to find a proper parking place. Sprinting to into the terminal, Chloe looked about wildly to try and catch a glimpse of her girlfriend. Searching through the crowds, Chloe cursed Beca's lack of height. Once upon a time she found it adorable, but now, when she was on a tight time crunch, when every second counted, Chloe found this to be an extreme inconvenience. Why couldn't Beca have bright red hair like her? That would make this so much easier. Now, where the hell was her little Munchkin?

With a grunt, Chloe sprinted over to the information desk. Pushing past everyone in line, Chloe stopped in front of the rather surprised woman sitting behind the desk.

"I need to know... Where the flights to LA are." Chloe panted.

"Excuse me?" The woman asked.

"The flights. To LA," Chloe said, "Where are they?"

"Um over in the B block," the woman said, "Miss?"

Before she had even finished speaking, Chloe was off at a dead sprint tot he B block. She had to find Beca. She had to. She had to stop this, and get Beca back so that they could live happily ever after. Now, if she could just get there, she could do this.

"2:30 Flight to LAX now boarding" The intercom announced.

"SHIT!" Chloe screeched as she broke through the crowd into the B block.

Searching the room for Beca, Chloe desprately searched for her girlfriends diminutive frame and signature look. Running through the room, Chloe's eyes finally found what they were looking for. There, standing in line to board the plane stood Beca.

"Beca..." Chloe whispered.

As Beca stepped up to the inspection point, panic began to well up in Chloe. Beca was leaving. Time was running out. She was too late, she couldn't be too late. She needed Beca to turn around, She needed Beca to see her. A full out scream tore through Chloe's body, as she watched Beca step through the metal detector.

"BECAAAAA!" Chloe screamed, praying that her voice would travel over the noise of the airport.

Her prayers were answered, and Beca turned around, a look of confusion on her beautiful face. As pair of steel blue eyes locked on to desperate cerulean eyes, Chloe rushed forward. However, this was the wrong move. Beca turned back around and then stepped through the terminal...

* * *

**What up aca-bitches! So how was that? Review and tell me, because if you don't, you'll never see how this ends... Guys, as I said earlier, and will say a number of times more, this is not a double update, but i need you to read the Author Note chapter. It is of the utmost importance, and if you love me, you'll do as I say. I'm done now. On to you guys now!**

**Bechloehuh: YEEEEEEEEEEES Chaar! :)**

**cxcxcx386: Yes, Warren really was a caring father. Put yourself in his place, know only what he knew, and then tell me if his actions were justifiable. And just cuz you get someone's blessing doesn't mean that you have to do something. I got my friends blessing to kick the shit out of her brother and I didn't do it. Well, actually I broke his nose, but you get the point. Sorry about the heartbreak this chap though. I can't help myself. Angst is my thing. **

**chile101: Why would you do that? I'm a lying bastard.**

**Guest: You're an awful person. What about Baylie! How could you even suggest such a thing!**

**Msweeny1997: we're not over... Yet. We will be soon, and I'm not sure if beca and Chloe can be bechloe again. We'll see soon enough :)**

**IC16: Thank you! I know. I'm the fucking best. lol, no, but its still a nice delusion.**

**Positiveoutcomesonly: Umm... I'm sensing some serious anger on your end. Breathe my friend. Its just a fic. In. Out. In. Out. All better? Beca's an indecisive bitch. Just deal with it.**

**Guest: I don't actually know. Ask Jesus.**

**To everyone else: READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! And guys, I'm less then 300 reads short of 10,000 views. Who wants to be the lucky bastard that gets me over 10,000 mark?**


	15. READ THIS! IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Greetings Mortals. So that was the second to last chapter of Shattered. Yes, I know, bemoan the terribleness and all that, but yes, that was (almost) it. Now, this is extremely important guys. I won't post the resolution for a while. Why you dare ask? Because I'm writing two endings. Yes, you read correctly, two endings.

I have received a number of threats that if this does not have a happy ending, extreme ramifications will be had. Frankly, I'd rather avoid this. However, I still want to write my ending, the way I saw how the fic would play out. Which BTW isn't a happy ending.

I had originally seen Beca recommitting suicide, suicide, and then be dead. I saw Chloe killing Baylie out of anguished rage, and then ending up in jail for the rest of Eternity. No one would ever find out about Aubrey, and then she'd eventually run herself into the ground, and commit suicide herself. I feel as though you mortals wouldn't like me very much if I had done that, and originally, I hadn't cared. But then, I got a ton of reads, a bunch of reviews, etc, and i changed my mind. So, now I am faced with a dilemma of the most confounding sort.

Do I write the end I feel, or do I write the end that has been demanded? I say fuck choosing, I'll do whatever the fuck I want.

So, to make this long story short, these endings will be posted at the same time, and you can choose the ending you want. The theatrical ending will be the happy ending you all wanted. The Director's cut ending, will be the angsty, depressing ending I have in mind. Any questions? If yes, leave a review or PM ma, and I'll get back to you. If not, guys, its been an honor writing this.

* * *

Side, note. I'm like this whole double fic thing, and I now am opening this up as a poll. Reviews= votes. Tell me your choice. At the end, I'll write whatever one you guys want to see the most

Option A- Chose any of my one-shots and bitch about it to me. You did it with this one, and look what happened.

Option B- Apocalypse situation. Societal melt down. Pick your pairings and characters. I need three pairings.

Option C- Supernatural fic. Powers, demons, and all that fun shit. Choose your pairing.

Option D- ZOMBIES! (I have a minor obsession)

Option E- Tell me what you think! If I get a prompt that I REALLY like, I'll screw the poll and write that.

Option F- I never ever write again. I suck at writing, and should just stop while I'm ahead of myself.


	16. Theatrical version (Happy version)

**What's up my aca-mortals? So this is it. The happy ending you've all been waiting for. Fuck it, I nearly fucking puked writing this. GAH! I hate happy shit like this. So if this sucks, I'm sorry. If y'all haven't noticed, angsty, dark, seriously depressing shit is my thing. I don't usually do happy shit. But for all of my (scary and life threatening) aca-peeps, I'm going to try. Shout out to cxcxcx386 for betaing this shit. MWAHAHAHA! My dear, you are now an immortal. I have proclaimed it as such, and it shall be as such. I'm done now.**

**Actually, no I'm not. You need to listen to Bonnie Mckee's song Somebody either while or before you read this... it's actually really important to me that you do so. I know I included the lyrics, but you can't get it unless you hear the song. Now I'm done. :)**

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

**Somebody**

_I sit alone_

_Dark theatre, watchin' the people go by_

_Hand in hand_

_Everybody but me_

_Oh_

_I stay behind_

_Watchin' the credits roll by_

_Roll roll roll right by me_

_I know, I won't cry_

_Cause there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me_

_Out in the rain_

_Won't cry_

_Not tonight_

_Because there is somebody waitin' for me_

_Oh yeah_

_I take a walk_

_The streets are busy tonight_

_And I am searching for you_

_Waiting to brush your shoulder_

_But I'm alone_

_I watch the faces roll by_

_Roll roll roll right by me_

_But I know, I won't cry_

_Cause' there's somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me_

_Out in the rain_

_Won't cry_

_Not tonight_

_Because there is somebody waitin' for me_

_How many words will go unspoken_

_'Til I hear knockin' upon my door_

_Losing track of the nights I spent heart broken_

_But tonight I know_

_I won't cry no more_

_Oh_

_I lie awake_

_I left the porch light on_

_I hope it helps you to find your way_

_Outside_

_I hear the thunder roll by_

_Roll roll roll right by me_

_But I know, I won't cry_

_Cause' there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me_

_Out in the rain_

_Not gonna cry tonight_

_No cause there is somebody waitin' for me_

_Not gonna cry tonight_

_No_

_No no no no_

_Oh_

_Not gonna cry_

_Not tonight cause there is somebody waitin' for me_

_I stay behind_

_Watchin' the credits roll by_

_Roll roll roll right by me_

* * *

To Whom it may concern,

Love is such a funny thing when you think about it. People use it as both justification for the most heinous crimes and a reason to dedicate themselves, their entire life, to the greater good. Funny, isn't it? But what is love? It is an intangible thing, that if you were to ask a hundred people to define it, you'd get a hundred completely different answers. The truth is, you cannot define love. You cannot try to measure it or quantify it. You cannot explain it, and you cannot describe it. It is a term that man made, but cannot truly comprehend. However, I think love is not about the what, the how, or the why. I think it is about the who.

Love is about your somebody.

Everyone has their somebody out there. At least, I hope that they do, for life without love is the saddest life there is. Everyone's somebody was made for them, just as you were made to be someone's somebody. When you find your somebody, you can never ever let them go. There is only one person who is just right for you out there. One person who will truly get you, accept you unconditionally, and love you without any limits, and if you should be so lucky to find that person, you would be a fool in the highest order to ever think anything is worth more than them.

Sometimes, we may feel as though the person we once thought was our somebody is not really our somebody. That perhaps we were wrong when we first found them. That perhaps, in a moment of desperation and loneliness, we latched on to the first person that had shown us kindness, had shown us an iota of love. Before you begin to second guess yourself though, first think about why you are second guessing yourself. Is it because the love you found is proving to be more difficult than you thought it should be? Is it because they hurt you? My friend, love is pain. They are one and the same. Pink said this quite wonderfully in her song Try.

_Where there is desire_

_There is gonna be a flame_

_Where there is a flame_

_Someone's bound to get burned_

_But just because it burns_

_Doesn't mean you're gonna die_

_You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

Love is like fire. It can warm you to the very tips of your fingers, and light the way when the world all around you is dark. However, it is also dangerous. It can burn you, it can and most likely will cause you pain, and it may even kill you. But there is the question we all must ask ourselves. Is it worth it? Is the excruciating agony of love worth it in the end? My friend, that is up to you. What are you comfortable with? If you like the safe, the known, the easy, then true love can never be for you. True love is exciting, it is new, and it is always the unknown. The person that is your somebody wields absolute over you. Your somebody has the power to destroy you, to cause you the worst kind of pain, and tear you down until there is nothing left.

In fact, that person is not your true love, your somebody, unless they must first be tried, must first be tested to the absolute extremes, before you can know, before you can truly know, that your somebody loves you and that you love them. Love may not conquer all. However, it is not suppose to. It is suppose to break, to shatter, to fail. All things do, and love is no exception. However, your love must always be able to come back, to still be able to stand when the ashes settle. There is no shame in admitting that you've fallen. We all have fallen, and we will all fall time and time again. It is human nature to fall, to fail. However, there is the greatest shame in never getting back up, never trying again.

That is not to say that love is bad though. On the contrary, it is the best possible feeling, the best thing, in the world. Love can give you the strength of a thousand, and show you the truth of the world. It will embolden you and bolster you beyond anything else. With love, you will fall, but you will always get back up. It will show you the light when there is none, and it will fill your heart.

It will make you feel whole, and comfort you on your worst days. It will be your guiding light on your darkest of days. It will keep you warm when the winds howl and the snow blows. Never will you be alone, and never will you want, for love will be your constant companion and bountiful provider. Never will you be truly lost, because when your brain may not know the way, your heart will always show you the way home. Love will falter, love will break, love may even be lost, but I promise you, it will always come back. So long as you want it, so long as you are willing to work for it, love will always find its way back to you. It is the soundest of investments and the best drug known to man.

But love comes at a cannot love, unless you can humble yourself. Love is a two way street, dear reader. You must give more than you take, and if you cannot do so, then you cannot love. You need to be able to hand your heart and soul over to your love with no qualms, with no trepidation if you want to love another. But if your love is true, if you have really found your somebody, then this will be easy. Giving yourself to your love will be as easy, as thoughtless as breathing. You won't even notice that you do so. To those who say that such is foolishness, that doing so will make you vulnerable, then you must remember, that the other will be doing the same for you. Also, by doing so, you forge yourself the strongest of armors. So long as your love remains true, then no one can hurt you but the one you have given yourself to.

John Ruskin once said, that it is better to lose your stupid pride over someone you love,

than that someone you love over your stupid pride. That my friend is the truth of this entire thing. Love will humble you, it will hurt you, it will humiliate you, and it will expose you in every sense of the word. If you hold onto your pride, if you refuse to let everything go, then you cannot love. Just remember though, in the end, after the last shot is fired, if your somebody is still beside you, then all will be worth can and will always be the answer to those who have found it. I found Chloe, and I found love. And now, forever more, love will always be my answer when there is no answer, when there is no rhyme or reason. Love will be my solution, when I am faced with the impossible question.

Love will be my compass for life and I will never question its direction again. Though my mind may not understand, though my mind may balk and use logic to see the faults, I know that my heart will not be deceived or ever lead me astray. The mind can be deceived. Oh, how easy it is to deceive the mind. A slight of hand, or some smooth words, and the mind will be deceived. But the heart can never be deceived. No words, no tricks, no falsities can ever change your heart. And it is for that reason, I am able to give myself over to the unknown, to the heartbreak, to the untamed wilderness. I will let my heart guide my life, and trust in that silly paradox we call love.

Because no matter what happens, I know that I will never be lost or alone.

Sincerely,

Beca Mitchell

* * *

Six years later...

Beca stood outside on the terrace, gazing at the vast starry night sky. Below her, Los Angeles was sprawled out beneath her, like a massive miniature Christmas city of lights. She could see the head lights of cars making their way through the city and if she closed her eyes, she could almost swear that she could hear the beat of some eternally unfinished song.

Taking a deep breath, Beca smiled. Life was good for her now. She was now one of the hottest DJ's in America, arguable even the world. She'd made her dream come true, and now, she was living the life she told everyone she would be. She was admired and respected in her industry and brought in more money than she even knew what to do with. Every major artist was clamoring for a chance to work with her, and women everywhere were fawning over the one and only DJ Bella B.

Everyone wanted to know the rising star. Beca had come to LA, and within the first 6 months had already made a significant name for herself. Playing in major clubs such as Madness, Pulse, and more, soon, Beca was on a first name basis with people like Usher, Beyonce, Jay-Z, David Guetta, and Katy Perry. But why wouldn't she? She was good at what she did, and earned every ounce of respect, every iota of admiration she got. She put 100% herself into every album, every song, every beat. She never half asses anything, and worked her ass off to achieve her dream. And it showed.

To be honest though, it was overwhelming sometimes. There were always flashing lights in her face when she went out, and often times, peace and quiet could only be found when she was in the solitude of her secluded mansion above LA. When she left Barden, she'd left Beca behind, and DJ Bella B took over. And now, no one even knew who Beca Mitchell was. She was okay with that though, because this was her never forgot who she was though, who Beca Mitchell was. Sometimes, Beca would wake up and for a minute, she'd forget about where she was, and who she was now.

Sometimes, she forgot who she was to the world, and just be Beca, and honestly, she loved those days. Don't get her wrong, she loved being DJ Bella B, that was her dream. She was so thankful for that. But sometimes, just being Beca was a nice change. No expectations, no deadlines, no back into the bedroom, she saw the familiar, and comforting sight of a certain slumbering ginger. Yeah, Chloe was it for Beca. She kept her grounded, and for that, Beca would be eternally grateful. Ever since Chloe forced her way back into Beca's life, Beca's life had changed for the better.

Closing her eyes, Beca thought back to that fateful day...

* * *

_Beca stood in the line to board her plane. In only a few short minutes, she'd be on her way to LA to go live her dream. Tapping her foot impatiently, Beca groaned inwardly. The last inspection point was taking forever, and Beca really wanted to leave. There was this annoying nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. Beca chalked it up to nerves, and figured that it would go away once she was on the a sigh, Beca set her travel on bag down. Out of an open zipper pocket, a picture of Chloe tumbled out._

_Picking up the picture, Beca felt the odd feeling intensify. Quickly shoving the picture in her pocket, Beca picked up her bag once more. Fucking hell. What was taking so long. Out of the corner of her eye, Beca saw a flash of red. Turning around, Beca looked behind her, almost hopefully searching for the familiar face. However, there was nothing behind her but the usual bustle of the airport. No Chloe._

_"Fucking hell." Beca sighed, "I'm going crazy."_

_Then again! Out of the corner of her vision, Beca swore she thought she saw that familiar blazing red hair. Nope, it couldn't be. Beca refused to turn around, instead staring intently ahead. She was just nervous. Yeah, that was it. She was so sleep deprived and anxious she was hallucinating or-_

_"BECA!" an oh so familiar voice screamed._

_Turning around, it was as though the crowds parted and a light shown down. There, standing in the middle of the terminal was none other than one Chloe Beale. Her Chloe. _

_"Chloe..." Beca whispered._

_This was a dream. It had to be. Chloe couldn't be here. She was back in New York already. Beca left her, and Chloe moved on. This couldn't be right. It couldn't be. Beca was just tired and hallucinating. That had to be it. Chloe couldn't be here! She couldn't! This was all just a dream. Shit, was it? _

_Suddenly, flashbacks of the terrors Beca faced while she was in her coma came back. Images of the monster, of Chloe, of Aubrey, and of the room came rushing through Beca's mind. Phantom feelings of the pain, of the fear, and of the loneliness crept through Beca's entire being. Closing her eyes, Beca willed the images, the feelings, and the panic to go away. She was awake now. She was. This wasn't real. This wasn't real! THIS WASN'T REAL! Chloe wasn't here. She wasn't-_

_"BECA!" Chloe screamed._

_With that, Chloe broke into a dead sprint, running across the floor of the terminal to Beca. _

_Panic immediately overtook Beca's entire being. Seeing Chloe charge over to her, seeing Chloe's hair whipping back, the crazed look in her eyes, took Beca back to a place she'd never wanted to ever revisit again. Quickly, Beca fled through the gate. She had to get away. She had to get away! She was going to LA to escape the demons of Barden. There was too much fear, to many bad memories here for her._

_Panting, Beca stopped running and leaned against the wall of the tunnel. Sliding down the wall, Beca placed her hands over her ears. Clutching her head, tears streamed down her eyes. Vivid images of the terrors that Beca saw in her coma tore through Beca's mind. Though she knew she was awake now, the images were so real, so clear, that for a moment, she was afraid that she was back in that cold room, with the Fake Chloe tormenting her. _

_Taking a deep breath, Beca willed herself to calm down. She was awake now. That room, that Chloe, all of it, disappeared when Beca opened her eyes. The memories may not have, but the room did. That was gone now, and it was up to Beca to make it so. She was acting like a fucking bitch now. She was living in the past, just as she swore to herself she wouldn't._

_Standing up, squared her shoulders. She wasn't going to be scared anymore. She wasn't going to live in the past, or let it haunt her anymore. Walking down the tunnel, Beca stopped right before she would step out of the tunnel. Beside her, people pushed past her, eager to be on their way back home, or off to start their new adventure. She wasn't going to be scared anymore, so why was she running? _

_"I'm going to live my dream." Beca whispered to herself, trying to convince herself._

_But was she? LA was her dream, it had been since she was 14. Ever since she mixed her first song, she wanted to go to LA. She wanted to share her passion with the world, live the life of a star. That was her dream! It always had been. But was her dream still the same now as it was then? Sure she still wanted to make music, to be a DJ. That was what she loved. That was what she dreamed of, what she wanted to wasn't who she loved though. Now, when Beca thought of her dream, when she pictured herself down the rod ten years from now, there was something else. Though she was loathe to admit it right now, she still loved Chloe. And because of Chloe, her dream had changed. Now, when she pictured herself in LA, she wasn't alone. There was someone beside her, when she accepted her first Grammy, when she went out. And that person, wasn't just some nondescript random woman._

_No, the person next to her had flaming red hair. She had this megawatt smile that lit up the room, and brought a smile to the faces of everyone else, She had these brilliant cerulean eyes, that looked like they belonged to Disney most of all, this person knew Beca. This person could read Beca like a book, could take one look at her and see through the facade she put up to keep everyone else. This person was Beca's soul mate, her person next to her, the woman of her dreams, was Chloe._

_"Last call for 2:30 flight to LAX" Beca heard over the intercom._

_Beca froze. This was it. Right now, she had a choice. She could go take that flight, and never have to see Chloe again. Though it would suck at first, Beca was confident that she would be able to move on. She'd never be vulnerable again, never have to open herself up to anyone else. She could go back to being the Beca Mitchell that she was comfortable being. _

_Or..._

_Or she could turn around. She could go to Chloe, she could take her back. She could face every single fear she had, lay herself bare, and make herself completely vulnerable to the one who hurt her the most. She could go back, and put her dream on hold be honest, there really wasn't much thought that was needed for this one. Standing up, _

_Beca sprinted away for the last time._

* * *

Beca smiled to herself. Yeah, Chloe and Beca had been through a lot. They fought, they cried, and they questioned their sanity most days. They had seen it all, they had done it all, and they had gotten the T-shirt. They were both rather familiar with heartbreaks and brought new struggles for the girls, new problems, new fights.

However, never once did Beca regret her decision that day. Sure she's been through a lot, but that only made her stronger. That only made her armor that much harder. Everyday, Beca found a new reason o fall in love with Chloe all over again. She found a new strength, a new foundation. Everyday, Beca and Chloe grew stronger together, and together, they found the meaning of true love. Because with every down, there is an up. It's like Newton's third law of motion. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every down that Beca's had, every pain she's endured, she's had an equal up, and equal high. Now, after six years, she's happily married to the woman of her dreams, she's successful, and she honestly couldn't ask for more in life.

Baylie was an awesome kid too. At first, Beca had been nervous about the whole thing. She was only 23 years old, and just like that, she now had a kid. She didn't know the first thing about parenting, and was terrified of being a fuck up of a parent. However, she soon learned that she had nothing to worry about. Baylie was just like Chloe. She loved unconditionally, and whenever they went out, Baylie was sure to make a new friend. She was in first grade now, and in the gifted program too. Apparently, she'd not only adopted Chloe's good looks and kind hearted nature, but her incredible brains too. Baylie, next to Chloe was Beca's driving force. The child had quickly adopted Beca as her other mom, and could make Beca smile without fail. Beca loved Baylie as though she was her own, and Baylie loved Beca just as much, if not even more. And Beca couldn't be one last glance at the bright moon, Beca went back inside to cuddle with her wife.

Slipping in between the sheets, Beca smiled as Chloe curled herself around Beca. Even after all this time, Beca's heart still fluttered when she was around Chloe, and she still marveled at how perfectly the two of them fit together. And honestly? She was okay with that. She was grateful for everyday she got to spend with Chloe. Every time Chloe smiled, every time Chloe laughed, it made Beca's heart that much lighter, made her that much happier. Chloe was Beca's light, her soul mate, her somebody, her everything, and Beca could think of nothing more in this world that she wanted than to spend the rest of her life with Chloe. Smiling, Beca closed her eyes and let sleep slowly take over.

Yeah, life was good now, and despite everything happening, despite all the hardships, Beca and Chloe had found their way back.

* * *

**Aaaaaand Cut! Did you all enjoy that? I hope so, because it ain't gonna happen again. Happy endings. BAH! Life doesn't happen that way. But oh wells. Y'all wanted this, so I've done it! But if it does suck, please remember that this really isn't my forte. I'm an angst writer, not a fluff writer. So please... Be kind in your reviews. Option F is still open BTW XD  
**

**Now onto somewhat important matters. As I'm sure most of you have noticed, Aubrey was not mentioned in the epilogue. That was intentional. (for a full and minorly disturbing reason, see the A/N on the director's version) If you want, I will write a Staubrey fic, set one year after this. I'm not giving any more details then that. However, it will not be a sequel. It will be in the same universe, and Beca and Chloe'll be there, but its going to revolve around Aubrey and Stacie more. #OptionG Bitches! lol... I'm not even on twitter XD.**

**Alright, one last thank you to everyone who's stuck with me this long. It's been incredible, the recveption my fic has gotten. When I first decided to turn this into a full fic, I had set my goals for 50 refviews and 5,000 reads. Needless to say, you've all crushed that. More then rwelve THOUSAND reads and 128 reviews thus far (I'm hoping now to break the 13G barrier and 140 reviews) Like seriously, you've all been incredible, and its been a true honor writing this for you all.**

**On to you guys finally!**

**Rizzlesmylies: Aww! Thank yooooooou! Please tell me you didn't break your phone though. I was serious about being a poor student. I really don't have the money to replace it if you did. lol, though in all seriousness, You're review made my day :) And you most certainly aren't creepy! Unless you actually find out where I live. In that case, CREEPER! But anyways, I'm glad I have good timing XD Happy super belated B-day to you mate! You're officially an adult yet you waste your time reading my shitty ass writing! :)**

**Mustafa09: First, awesome pic. Second. I don't know. I've only seen Red 2 once, so I'll have to see about that. Your idea's on the pile now though!**

**Zippy Zoe: I mention an option F because I'm a teenage girl who hasn't even graduated from high school. How the fuck am I suppose to know if I write well or not? And hey Warren was Warren. You opinion on him is whatever you make it to be! I never even meant to cast him in a certain light, other then a concerned father desperately trying for redemption. And the fun ain't over yet baby! I have other fics to write, and it would be awesome if you read them... Just saying. XD AND WHAT MOTHER FUCKERS! I WROTE TWO ENDINGS! WHO FUCKING ELSE CAN SAY THEY'VE DONE THAT!  
**

**Guest: Eh... No worries mate! That's just who i am! :)**

**Other Guest: Meanie! Imma go cry now! :'( Option F was for serious! And a G!P... I dunno. I'd def need someone to help me with that if I decided to try that route.**

**yoli008: That's my attitude all the time mate! And Zombies are awesome. I should just find a way to write them into everything XD**

**cxcxcx386: My dear, I really have to thank you so much for everything. You've been an awesome friend, a loyal supporter, and an excellent reviewer. Truly, words cannot describe how awesome you really are :) I actually wasn't trying to write a sad PP2 though. I was trying to write a gut wrenching, semi realistic, thought provoking fic. Did I succeed? I can def see the similarities now that you mention it. Damn, my subconsious is a sly little bastard. When I wrote each scene, i was trying to see if I could find some symbolic meaning in some shit. Guess that made it look like a shitty angst filled sequel. Oops!  
**

**Msweeny1997: I wasn't actually trying to kill you. You'd know if I was. Actually, no you wouldn't, cuz you'd be dead... But anyways. Point being HA! I did both! If you one of those God damn saps who needs an unrealistic happy ending, then you've gotten one. Or, if you trust me, and you believe that you can face reality, I've also got you covered. Note of warning though, if even the idea of Bechloe being broken is upsetting, don't read the sad version. Its fucked up. Like seriously, it puts the rest of this fic to shame.**

**theskycat: Mate, I totes got you. But Bechloe? Again? eeeeeehh... I'd originally posted the original one shot because I'd felt bad that I had no Bechloe out there. I'm more of a Mitchsen/Chaubrey shipper really. But if Bechloe endds up being whats asked for the most, I might do it. Or I'll just say fuck you all I like Mitchsen, but you know how it is :)  
**

**chilie101: Pressure's on mate! Time's running out! 10! 9! 8! 7! Alright I'm done. That was mean XD**

**blurtopia: I appreciate your concern, truly, I do. I believe in integrity, so I won't lie, but have no fear. I'm over it :) Sticks and stone, ya know? And I do already have a counselor. She's a very nice old lady who knows what the fuck she's talking about and when to listen. I wish she was Anna Kendrick though. Sorry. Had to reference 50/50 there...**

**Guest: I dunno. Alpha/Beta shiz? Maybe. Its def a good idea though!**

**Guest: I really like your idea. Alas, the sad ending's been planned for a while now. And I fucking hate sequels. Ever see Jaws 2? Or the Matrix reloaded. That fucking gun should have been fired and then discarded. Chloe was originally suppose to die, but in the sad ending, I've found a much better fate for her. But don't read that if you don't think you can handle it. I'm serious too. My ending is ten times angstier then this whole fic combined.**

**Alphonseal: Alright mate! Your vote has been counted :)**

**Guest: I like your attitude. I don't fucking care either. I just need ideas XD**

**Whatizthiz: Thiz iz awesomeness at its finest. lol, I'm sorry. I had to just once XD I hope both endings were as good as you'd hoped! And I didn't name the end chapters. I gave them their songs, and then just distinguished them by which one they were. Also, on the sad version, I'm sorry! If you read the really long A/N at the end, you get it. But hey, no one was sacrificed. Just brutally killed off. And I know, lines that shouldn't have been crossed, but in real life, there are no lines. Shit happens, it hurts, it doesn't make any sense, and it just seems wrong. But that's life. And I strived to keep Shattered as realistic as possible. Except for the happy ending. That was just something I shit out because people demanded it.  
**

**Guest: I know! Isn't it hilarious though? And if that happened, then Karma's a bitch, Beca's a bitch, and the world is my bitch. Perfect logic. Too bad that didn't happen though ;)**

**To everyone else: Guys, this has been absolutely incredible. You suckers have stuck with me for over a month, dealing with my insane ramblings, me cruelly trying to make you cry, and having to deal with characters who actually pissed me off at times. However, despite that, despite 16 chapters (I'm not counting the AN) of shit, you all were incredible. I receive no words of hate, only encouragement. A few threats here and there, but hopefully all idle threats... You guys didn't mean any of that, did you? lol. But really, I love you all so much, and if I could, I'd thank each and everyone of you individualy. Unfortunately, I can't, but just know, I see every read. I read (sometimes more then once) every single review and PM. Really, it has been an honor writing this for you, and I can't wait to see you all again soon!**

**Also, please don't forget about option G. I know it wasn't listed in the original poll, but I didn't want any spoilers!**

**For those who love me: I also write For the Love of a Daughter. That little bitch still has a shit ton to go, and if you liked Shattered, you might like that. Just sayin :) I'm also co writing The Future Holds many Surprises with Becky Astin Camp. my aca-awesome Beta, and y'all should check that out. LOAD is Mitchsen, and TFHMS is jaubrey (I know I know Bleh. But it really is a good fic.) So yeah. I hope to see you all again soon. And if not, then thank you all so much for your support. I'm still in awe of the incredible following I got from this. Like seriously, its unreal.**

**Peace out Mortals! :)**


	17. Directr's cut (Sad version)

**What up my mortal aca-bitches? So this is it. MY Ending for this fic. However, before you read, I leave you this precautionary note. This is sad shit. Like seriously, I questioned my own sanity writing this. And I think if my counselor saw this, I'd be sent right back to the 9th floor. So lets not tell him about this... But any ways, yes, this is messed up. I've fucked everyone's life up or just ended it, and really, there isn't a fucking ray of light in this entire chapter. So please, if you were even kinda disturbed, upset etc from the rest of this fic, DO NOT READ THIS. Serious trigger warnings for drug use, character death, and all that fun shit. Sorry to those reading this. Spoiler alert and all, but I don't want anyone to be too upset by this. I write to entertain and maybe teach a lesson or two. Not to set recovery or anything like that back :)**

**So with that said, King Alex out bitches. **

**I own nothing. It sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!**

* * *

_**Airplanes**_

_Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky are like shooting stars?  
I could really use a wish right now  
Wish right now  
Wish right now  
Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars?  
I could really use a wish right now  
Wish right now  
Wish right now_

_Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish_  
_To go back to a place much simpler than this_  
_'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'_  
_And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion_  
_And all the pandemonium and all the madness_  
_There comes a time where you fade to the blackness_  
_And when you starin' at that phone in your lap_  
_And you're hopin' but them people never call you back_  
_But that's just how the story unfolds_  
_You get another hand soon after you fold_  
_And when your plans unravel in the sand_  
_What would you wish for if you had one chance?_  
_So airplane, airplane, sorry I'm late_  
_I'm on my way so don't close that gate_  
_If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight_  
_And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night_

_Can we pretend that airplanes_  
_In the night sky are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)_  
_I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Can we pretend that airplanes_  
_In the night sky_  
_Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)_  
_I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_

_Yeah, yeah, somebody take me back to the days_  
_Before this was a job, before I got paid_  
_Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank_  
_Yeah, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway_  
_And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it_  
_But nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant_  
_I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta' airplanes_  
_Then maybe yo maybe I'll go back to the days_  
_Before the politics that we call the rap game_  
_And back when ain't nobody listen to my mixtape_  
_And back before I tried to cover up my slang_  
_But this is for the hater, what's up Bobby Ray?_  
_So can I get a wish_  
_To end the politics_  
_And get back to the music_  
_That started this shit?_  
_So here I stand and then again I say_  
_I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta' airplanes_

_Can we pretend that airplanes_  
_In the night sky are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)_  
_I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Can we pretend that airplanes_  
_In the night sky_  
_Are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)_  
_I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_  
_Wish right now (Wish right now)_

_I could really use a wish right now {oh, oh-oh oh}_  
_I-I-I could really use a wish right now_  
_Like, like, like shootin' stars {oh, oh... oh}_  
_I-I-I-I could really use a wish right now_  
_A wish, a wish right now_  
_{A wish right now}_

* * *

To Whom it may concern,

Love. It really is such a little word. It's only four letters, and yet... Yet it has so much meaning. Ask a hundred people to define it, and you'll get a hundred different answers. But what is love? Is it a feeling? A state of being? Perhaps it is a person. Is love even definable? How do you even define something that makes no sense at all? I say that you can't. Love is some bullshit term that some fucking sociopath made up a thousand years ago to make everyone miserable and to justify all of his creepy ass stalking.

Love is bullshit. Plain and simple. People use it as an excuse to kill others, to go to war, or to do as they damn well please. For what though? All in the name of something that doesn't even exist. Sure it's a nice thought and all, but really, it's all fucking bullshit. People talk of love that conquers all, that moves mountains, that can cross oceans. But let me ask you something. How many of those fucking bastards that sing of love, that write of its power, that claim it can fix all problems, how many of them actually have even attempted to use love as motivation or as the solution to a problem. I fucking guarantee that none of those fuckers could swim an ocean. Like seriously? I would fucking PAY to see Taylor Swift or any of those other famous bastards try to move a mountain or swim a ocean. Also who the fuck would go unarmed into a hostile war zone armed only with love? Like seriously? Fucking liars say that love is the solution. It ain't. Wars are won with brute force and better tactics. I don't think love will make you bullet proof and solve all problems. But hey, if you want to try it, I've got a .45 cal pistol. Bring your love, and I'll bring my bullets. Let's test that theory, shall we? You talk about love while I load my gun, and then we'll see how well your love worked.

Love is a fucking Hollywood term, and nothing more. It's a nice thing to write a movie about, but in practice, its utter bullshit. Humans are selfish creatures who are programmed for self preservation. Let's underline that word now, shall we? SELF preservation. Most people who claim that they love someone would not jump in front of that bullet when the time comes. To all those stupid fucking middle school kids out there who claim they're in love, would you really jump in front of your 'girlfriend' when some psycho killer comes into your school, shooting the damn place up? Really? I think not bastard, now shut the fuck up about your whole love shit.

And to that adorable old married couple that have been together for fifty gazillion years good for you. Congrats. You're old, fucking stupid, and settled for companionship when you realized that you probably couldn't do much better. That's what love is really. It's a good friend that you fuck and cry to, and hope that they don't leave. Whoop dee fucking doo to the people who say that they found this person. You got a good fuck buddy or person who'll put up with your whiny ass. Good for you.

And to those who say that I am a loveless bitch, a heartless womanizer, an attention whore, I have but one thing to say to you. You're right. I am everything you say I am. I love no one. I care for no one but myself. I fucking love people applauding and chanting my name. However, shall we look at things from a different perspective for a moment? I may be all that you say I am, but I am happy. Yes happy living my life EXACTLY the way I am. I'm not lonely, and I am perfectly happy having a different woman (or two) in my bed every night. I have no regrets in life, and see nothing wrong with being single for life. To me, love is a sick joke that people die trying to chase after.

Love is a lie. Plain and simple. People can go back and forth debating its merits, its downfalls, everything, but when the last shot is fired, when the ash settles, and there is nothing left, there is exactly that. Nothing left. There is no love, there is no fictional force that drives us. We live, we die, and then the cycle repeats. When chaos reigns and cities burn, tell me, where is your love then? Is your love there when people murder each other in the streets? Is it there when parents abandon their own children, when a brother kills his brother over a scrap of food? Is it there when families are torn apart from nothing more than a whispered rumor? Tell me, where is your love? Where is that thing that's suppose to split the seas and move mountains, valleys, and all other obstacles? Because I've never seen it before.

From my short 26 years on this God forsaken planet, I've seen the truth of humanity. People will always leave when a better opportunity arises. When difficulties come, when things become too hard for us to bear, we will always leave. It is human nature. We will always choose the road that we believe to be the one with the greatest reward at the end. And should said road be too hard, should there be to many difficulties, should distance come and the twists of life fuck us over one too many times, we will leave. Fuck whoever claims that they'll always stay, that they'll always be faithful. Fuck you. You're a fucking idiot.

Only fear can hold someone to another during hard times. The fear of God. The fear of the unknown. The fear of reprisal. Fear of death. That's what keeps us to one another. Not love. Fear. People become content in life. They have a decent set up in life, they have a job, a wife, a kid. Life's alright. So why bother changing, right? You're a fucking idiot mate. Contentment in life leaves to digression. Always fight for progress. And guess what beyoch? Your so called love? It's an excuse for a lack of ambition. It's an excuse for laziness, contentment, and fear. How many people have given up their dreams for someone they 'loved'? If you loved them, and if they loved you, shouldn't you have gone after your dream? Shouldn't they have supported you through out the whole thing? Isn't that what love's all about? Isn't it? Fucking hell, love is a lie. A fucking lie.

That's what this all comes down to. Love is a lie, and I'm not going to waste my time anymore with it.

Sincerely,

Beca Mitchell

* * *

Six years later. Hollywood USA-

Beca exhaled heavily. Looking up at the stars from the verandah of the hotel, she smiled. Back in the room, sprawled out in between the sheets was a smoking hot woman who was MORE than happy to offer her... services to Beca for the night. Smiling, Beca lit up a joint and inhaled deeply.

"Hey dad," Beca sighed looking up to the night sky, "So who'd of ever guessed I'd be here tonight, huh? Certainly not you. You thought DJing was a hobby, a little high school obsession. Well guess the fuck what? It wasn't and now I'm fucking making more money in one night then you would make in a fucking year. Joke's on you old man. I'm proving everyone wrong now, and guess what? It feels good Dad. I'm living the dream and couldn't be fucking happier."

Beca paused for a minute to take another drag from her joint. Speaking to her father, ranting to the stars. That was kinda her thing now. It helped her cling the tiny threads of sanity she barely clung to. Though many would find it odd, Beca found it therapeutic. Anymore, there were so many things wrong in her life, so many parts of her soul that were brutally ripped away, that Beca physically needed this some nights. When the camera flashes were too bright, when the interviewers and paparazzi were too loud, too insistent, Beca would scream at the stars. When the voices in her head beat her down and left her questioning her sanity, when the past tried to haunt her, and nightmares refused to let her sleep for days on end, Beca would find solace in speaking to her father.

"You know, some days, I really wish that you were still here. And not just so that I could rub it in your face to say that I was right and you were wrong. Which I totally was, by the way. No, sometimes, I actually kinda sort of miss your goofy grin when you said something that was somewhat intelligent, or when I told you that you weren't that bad. You were a complete douche for most of my life, but the last couple of years you were here, you were actually making an attempt to be a fucking father. If we would have had a couple more years... If you were still here, I think that we might have been able to have a semblance of a working relationship. Between you and Chlo, I was slowly healing. I was letting my guard down, and I was this close to letting you back in. Thank God Chloe pulled her little leaving stunt when she did," Here, Beca paused as a few tears found their way out of Beca's eyes. Angrily, Beca wiped them away, "Thank fucking God. I almost believed the lies, I almost let myself fall. Fucking hell, the world's watching me now. I'm fucking DJ Crazy B. The biggest bitch in Hollywood. The fucking crazy bitch in the music industry with an ego bigger then Justin Beiber and Kanye West combined. The field day the press would have if they woulda known me a few years back, eh Daddyo?"

With a sigh, Beca took one last drag from the joint in her hand, and then flicked the still burning stub over the railing. Watching the little ember fall, Beca nearly broke out into full out sobs. Taking a deep breath, Beca tried to calm herself down. Fucking hell, she was Beca Mitchell. She was a heartless bitch who took everything she could, and broke every girl's heart who was foolish enough to give it to her. She didn't fucking care about some girl who broke her heart six years ago. No, Chloe didn't break Beca's heart. She refused to even think that. Chloe just taught her the truth of life, of people. Chloe lifted the veil from Beca's eyes, and let her see past the lies of love. She taught Beca an invaluable lesson, that Beca would never have to relearn. Really, Beca should be thankful.

Closing her eyes, Beca leaned against the railing and thought back to the day that brought her here.

* * *

_Beca stood in the line to board her plane. In only a few short minutes, she'd be on her way to LA to go live her dream. Tapping her foot impatiently, Beca groaned inwardly. The last inspection point was taking forever, and Beca really wanted to leave. With a sigh, Beca scanned the room again, searching for something. She wasn't even sure what she was looking for though. There was this annoying nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, that made Beca feel on edge. Beca chalked it up to nerves, and figured that it would go away once she was on the plane. However, that didn't stop her from nervously looking around the room every ten seconds._

_With a sigh, Beca set her travel on bag down. Out of an open zipper pocket, a picture of Chloe tumbled out. Quickly picking up the picture, Beca felt the odd feeling intensify. Why the hell did she even put that picture in her bag? Quickly shoving the picture in her pocket, Beca picked up her bag once more. Fucking hell. What was taking so long. Come on people. Boarding a plane isn't rocket science._

_Out of the corner of her eye, Beca saw a brilliant flash of red . Turning around, Beca looked behind her, almost hopefully searching for the familiar face. However, there was nothing behind her but the usual bustle of the air port. No Chloe._

_"Fucking hell." Beca sighed, "I'm going crazy."_

_Then again! Out of the corner of her vision, Beca swore she thought she saw that familiar blazing red hair. Nope, it couldn't be. Beca refused to turn around, instead staring intently ahead. She was just nervous. Yeah, that was it. She was so sleep deprived and anxious she was hallucinating or-_

_"BECA!" an oh so familiar voice screamed._

_Turning around, it was as though the crowds parted and a light shown down. There, standing in the middle of the terminal was none other then one Chloe Beale. Her Chloe. Immediately, Beca's heart began to pound, and it seemed as though all the air had been sucked out of the room._

_"Chloe..." Beca whispered._

_This was a dream. It had to be. Chloe couldn't be here. She was back in New York already. Beca left her, and Chloe moved on. This couldn't be right. It couldn't be. Beca was just tired and hallucinating. That had to be it. Chloe couldn't be here! She couldn't! This was all just a dream. Shit, was it?_

_Suddenly, flashbacks of the terrors Beca faced while she was in her coma came back. Images of the monster, of Chloe, of Aubrey, and of the room came rushing through Beca's mind. Phantom feelings of the pain, of the fear, and of the loneliness crept through Beca's entire being. Closing her eyes, Beca willed the images, the feelings, and the panic to go away. She was awake now. She was. This wasn't real. This wasn't real! THIS WASN'T REAL! Chloe wasn't here. She wasn't-_

_"BECA!" Chloe screamed._

_With that, Chloe broke into a dead sprint, running across the floor of the terminal to Beca. Panic immediately over took Beca's entire being. Seeing Chloe charge over to her, seeing Chloe's hair whipping back, the crazed look in her eyes, took Beca back to a place she'd never wanted to ever revisit again. Instead of seeing Chloe, Beca saw the monstrous creature that had beaten Beca nearly to death. Beca would have screamed if she could have even breathed. However, she was fine settling for just running away as fast as she could. Thank God it was finally her turn now. The second the man gave her the okay to go through, Beca bolted. She had to get away. She had to get away! Never again was she going to feel so helpless. Never again would she put herself on the line. Never ever ever! This was not happening. It couldn't be!_

_Panting, Beca stopped running and leaned against the wall of the tunnel. Sliding down the wall, Beca placed her hands over her ears. Clutching her head, tears streamed down her eyes. Vivid images of the terrors that Beca saw in her coma tore through Beca's mind. Though she knew she was awake now, the images were so real, so clear, that for a moment, she was afraid that she was back in that cold room, with the Fake Chloe tormenting her. Taking a deep breath, Beca willed herself to calm down. She was awake now. The terrors she faced in that room were only dreams, and never again would Beca have to be a victim again. Clenching her jaw, Beca willed the images away. That room, that Chloe, all of it, disappeared when Beca opened her eyes. The memories may not have, but the room did. That was gone now, and it was up to Beca to make it so. She was acting like a fucking bitch now. She was living in the past, just as she swore to herself she wouldn't._

_Standing up, Beca took a deep breath. For a moment, Beca just stood there, eyes closed shock still. To the casual on looker, Beca looked almost like a statue, completely still and lifeless. However, though physically she was still, mentally, her mind was racing at thousands of miles per hour. Internally, she was having a mental war. What was she suppose to do? Part of her, a big part actually, wanted to turn around right now and go run into Chloe's arms. To let herself be held in the familiar embrace, breathe in the calming fresh air and fruit scent that was Chloe. To be honest, Beca had run her entire life, and she was kind of tired of it now. _

_However, and equally big part of her didn't want to go back, was too hurt to go back. Chloe almost killed Beca. Literally. And Beca knew that as much as she wanted things to go back to normal, as hard as she was willing to work for this, things would never be able to go back to the way they were. Chloe hurt Beca beyond words, beyond mortal comprehension, and she knew that Chloe and Beca could never be Chloe and Beca again. They could never be the perfect couple, because so long as Beca knew Beca. Chloe was purity, innocence, and perfection. She was the living embodiment of all the good in life that Beca had stopped believing in long ago. And when Chloe left, she shattered that image for Beca. She'd completely ripped Beca's heart out and stomped on the tiny shreds of confidence in life that Beca had. She hurt Beca in more ways then Beca could even comprehend, and now, here she was once more. Like a deadly spider waiting for some unsuspecting victim, Chloe had once pounced on Beca, ensnaring her in her web of lies._

_However, Beca was the oh so willing victim. She knew she was falling to fast, letting the red headed devil woman in to fast, however, she couldn't help it. Every word that Chloe said, every lie that she told Beca, she knew better then to believe. However, some depraved part of her craved the attention. Craved the love and the false promises that Chloe gave to her. And now, Beca was paying the price. As she knew she would, Chloe left, and she broke Beca's heart. Just as Beca had feared. So now what was she to do now?_

_Standing up, Beca smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. Picking her bag up, Beca strode into the light, and never once looked back. Chloe was her past, and now, LA was her future. Beca was done pining over the past, and only looked forward to a new and brighter future._

* * *

_Opening her eyes, Beca smirked. Yeah, that certainly was a day to remembe_r. However, Beca certainly didn't regret her decision. I mean, look at her now! She was just voted the hottest woman on earth, was the number one DJ in the world, and her newest album just sold 10 million copies. On its first night. Yeah, life was great for her now.

Pulling another joint out from her pocket, Beca smiled. As the smoke filled her lungs, Beca felt her high finally hit her. Giggling a bit, Beca glanced back into her room. Still sprawled out in the sheets was the woman Beca had taken home from the club, Tanya? Was that her name? Beca laughed again, the drugs in her system preventing her from caring. But really, why should she care? Tanya was just part of the endless parade of women who flung themselves at Beca on daily basis.

With a smile, Beca looked back up to the night sky.

"Yup dad," Beca smiled, "It only took twenty some years, but now I'm finally happy. I'm alright now, I've finally made peace with everything. So if you're up there worrying about forgiveness or whatever, don't. I'm done being mad. I'm done running, hiding pretending. All of it. I'm just done caring now. Funny what some weed and a handful of club drugs'll do for you." Here, Beca was lost in a fit of giggles. Beca's head swam, and it became harder and harder for her to form coherent thoughts, "We'll, I'm tired now, so Imma go wake whatserface up now for round six? Or is it round seven? I dunno, and I don't give three shits either. So g'night, sleep tight, and I'll shut the door now."

Stumbling towards the open door, Beca leaned heavily against the door frame. Shaking her head, Beca happily let the fogginess of the drugs cloud her mind. Honestly, she wasn't sure if she was really happy, if she really made the right choice that fateful day. Some nights, Beca really wished that she could wake back up in her old Barden dorm room, where the biggest concern she had was whether or not she should have pizza or a salad for lunch. When no one knew who Beca Mitchell was, and she could goof off in the radio station with Jesse. Anymore, anonymity for Beca was near impossible. She couldn't even step outside her home without there being at least forty men or women with cameras screaming her name. Her lack of height that once helped her blend in now made her a target. Her usual look of plaid, scuffed up combat boots and skinny jeans was now so iconic that she had her own highly successful clothing line, models and actresses every where copied her look, and nearly everyday, she was asked to endorse some new clothing line or something like that. Really, Aubrey couldn't call her the little alt girl anymore, because Beca's style was mainstream now. Fucking hell.

However, Beca was too high right now to care about any of this. Later tomorrow, if Beca allowed herself to sober up, all of these troubles would crash down upon her. But for now? Beca was more then happy for the momentary reprieve of all the shit that was her daily life. She welcomed the numbness and reveled in her inability to care. Sometimes, her head was so crowded, so loud that it took everything Beca had to not scream. It felt as though there were a thousand voices in her head sometimes, rather than just her own.

Stumbling to the bed, Beca plopped down, not caring if she woke her slumbering companion. Pulling the covers over her head, Beca closed her eyes and prayed that tonight she'd be able to sleep soundly and that the demons of her past wouldn't haunt her once sleep over took her. Never once were her prayers answered, but that still didn't stop Beca from hoping that tonight would be the night.

As Beca felt her grip on reality loosen, she found herself once more in a cold stone room...

* * *

Six Years Later. New York City-

Chloe sighed as she finally reached the roof of her apartment building. Lying down on the cold concrete, Chloe stared up at the night sky. Thanks to the bright lights of New York, Chloe couldn't see a single star, however, there was no shortage of air traffic, so that would do.

With a sad smile, Chloe thought back to nights at Barden, when Chloe would drag Aubrey out of their dorm room to go stare at the stars and spend hours bullshitting. They'd tell each other stories of their pasts, and about ridiculous hopes for the future. Well, actually, Chloe had the bullshit ideas; about her fanciful ideas of meeting her somebody, or of being a Broadway star. Aubrey was oh so pragmatic, and had everything sketched out. A job at her father's firm. Meeting a compatible match. House, dog, two kids, white picket fence house. The American dream. Chloe would laugh at Aubrey, and force her to tell her some other idea for the future, and together, they'd spend the entire night just drinking cheap wine and telling stories. They were so carefree then...

"Aubrey..." Chloe whispered in the dark, choking back tears.

Closing her eyes, Chloe let the memory of two years ago crash through her brain.

* * *

_Chloe sighed as she walked into the apartment building. She'd finally found a little job at a cafe a few blocks from their house, and while she hated the job, it let her help pay the bills. Really, the job wasn't so bad, but she hated all the guys hitting on her, asking for her number, asking when she got off. Really, it was actually quite annoying._

_Pushing the button for her floor, Chloe leaned back against the elevator wall as the rickety thing shot up. She really couldn't wait to go back to the apartment and just unwind. When Aubrey got home, maybe they'd share a bottle of wine and rant to each other about their own respective jobs. _

_Aubrey was Ms. Super Successful Lawyer now, working at her father's firm as his right hand man. Well, woman, but that's not the point. She made massive amounts of money, though she lived in this dingy flat with Chloe. Chloe sighed, running a hand through her hair. Despite Chloe insisting that Aubrey go live her life and enjoy her success, Aubrey adamantly had insisted that she take care of her and Baylie._

_Baylie... Chloe closed her eyes and willed the tears to go away. Was it only three months ago that Baylie passed away? Clenching her jaw, Chloe tried not to think of Baylie's last few moments. Baylie had some rare form of lymphoma that had reduced her bright little girl to a sickly pale mess. At Aubrey's insistence, she poured all her money into Baylie's treatment, getting Baylie the best doctors, the newest treatment plans, everything. Unfortunately, it was all to no avail. In only a short six months, Baylie's cancer was deemed terminal,and Chloe had to resign herself to watching her baby girl waste away. Despite her original mixed feelings towards the child after a year, Chloe had finally come to love the little girl. Baylie was exactly like Chloe as a child, inquisitive, fearless, outgoing, and happy. No matter what had happened that day, Baylie always found a way to make both Aubrey and Chloe smile with her antics. And whenever the nightmares came, Baylie was always there to cuddle up with. _

_The kid had a magical glow about her that even cancer had no way of dulling. Even as Baylie lay in that hospital bed, she still smiled. She still made jokes, still loved the color pink and to color. When she wasn't in so much pain that she couldn't even lift her finger without crying that was._

_Thankfully, as the memories came crashing through her mind, the elevator finally reached her floor. Bolting from the elevator, Chloe practically sprinted to her door. Jamming her key into the hole, Chloe pushed the door open. Closing the door, Chloe slumped against it, letting her tears flow out. Yeah. She'd definitely need that bottle of wine later._

_After a minute, Chloe stood back up and placed her coat on the rack. Walking into the apartment, Chloe was surprised to see a letter on the coffee table. Odd, she thought she went through all the mail this morning. Shrugging, Chloe sat down on the couch and picked up the envelope. On the front, in Aubrey's immaculate handwriting was Chloe's name. Furrowing her brow, Chloe flipped the plan white envelope over. Why the hell was Aubrey writing Chloe a letter? Usually, when Aubrey needed something, she'd either text Chloe or leave a sticky note on the fridge._

_Shrugging, Chloe opened the letter. As she read its contents, she felt her stomach drop._

_Dear Chloe,_

_I'm so sorry about this. I truly am. You have no idea how much I hate leaving you alone, how much I hate myself for doing this to you, but I just can't handle it anymore. I've tried so hard to be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect anything, but I've finally realized that this is impossible. I simply cannot be good enough, no matter how hard I try. It was only because of your constant reassurance, guidance, and care that I even survived college._

_However, even that is not enough anymore. Chloe, I've tried so hard to beat this, to hide this from you, but I just can't anymore. I can't handle the pressure, everyone's expectations, any of it any more. I'm just so tired of carrying this with me. _

_Chloe, you were the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Please never think that any of this was your fault. It was only because of you that I've lasted this long. Do you remember Pukegate? That night, I nearly killed myself. I had a knife and I'd already written all the necessary letters. However, you came in, right as I was about to go into the bathroom and end everything. You made me feel like I could get through this, that next year I could go for redemption. Though you didn't know it, you talked me out of committing suicide._

_However, I doubt even you could stop me now. Chloe, I never told you this, but I suppose its time to come clean. Ever since I was twelve, I've battled depression. I never was good at rolling with the punches, letting things just slide off my shoulders, and this was key in the Posen household. I took every insult, every demand to be better, every lecture my father gave me to heart. I let him rip me apart and force me to become something that I never even could have been. I never told anyone this except for a private counselor this, until now, but I need you to understand. Please don't think any less of me though. I'm so sorry to burden you with all of this, but its finally it's time._

_Chloe, as cliche as this sounds, by the time you read this, I'll be dead. However, I've already put all of mine and your affairs into order, so there is no need to worry about anything. This flat is yours, so you'll always have a home here. I have an account set up for you with $50,000 in it. Also, I've left everything else I owned to you, so hopefully, you'll be alright. I've already notified the authorities of my suicide, so actually, you'll probably hear the knock on the door any minute now. Also, there is no need for a funeral. Arrangements for my cremation have already been made, and then Posen's have a family crypt, so you can just put me there._

_I'm so sorry about this Chloe. I never wanted to leave you alone, especially now, but I can't handle this anymore. I'm just so tired of fighting, so tired of pretending, that I'm just completely worn out. I'm so tired of doing things the hard way, that it's time for me to finally take the easy way out. I may burn in hell for the rest of eternity, but that's fine by me. At least I'll be free._

_Goodbye Chloe, and thank you for putting up with me. Your friendship meant the world to me, and you will never understand how much you've helped me. I'm so sorry I've failed you. However, just because I have failed, doesn't mean that you should. _

_I want you to live your life to the fullest Chloe. You're in New York now. Go be a Broadway star. You certainly have the talent and heart to be one. Or don't be one if that's not what you want anymore. Just be happy. Actually, I want that to be my dying wish, if I even get one. Chloe, I want you to be happy. Live enough for both of us. Laugh at those stupid jokes on the bubble gum wrappers. Go travel the world, and try and pronounce foreign words. Go to Paris and be a Parisian for a day, just as you told me you wanted to one day. Don't cry anymore Chloe. You've done enough of that over these past few years. _

_Love,_

_Aubrey_

_Literally, right as Chloe finished reading the last line, the knock on the door came. As Chloe let in the police and paramedics, she felt herself go numb. Her friend was dead. Stumbling into the bathroom, Chloe ignored the policeman who yelled for her to stop. Forcing the door open, Chloe gasped at the sight._

_Lying in the tub sat Aubrey. Long vertical slashes were on both wrists. One arm hung out of the tub, still bleeding a bit. The other arm limply rested on the bath wall. Below that, there were thick lines of dried blood, and the water in the tub was completely red. With her head back, Aubrey's once vibrant green eyes were now dull and glossed over. _

_Placing a hand over her mouth, Chloe took in the gruesome sight before her. She felt a pair of strong hands guide her away, however, the damage was done. Forever more, that image would be burned into her mind..._

* * *

Opening her eyes, Chloe stared once more into the blank black sheet that was the New York sky. Biting her lip, Chloe willed herself not to cry. Aubrey wouldn't have wanted her to be sad about anything. She wanted her to be happy. Chloe sighed once more.

Aubrey's suicide note was just so... Aubrey. Taking all the blame, and not seeing the true problem. It's funny, Aubrey had thought more of leaving Chloe than of ending her own life. Aubrey wasn't resentful, didn't hate anyone, not even her ass hole of a father. Everyone thought that Aubrey was some uptight bitch, but she really wasn't. All Aubrey had ever really wanted was to be free. And now she was, so Chloe supposed that she should be happy for her. She refused to believe that God would have sent her to hell. So by default, Aubrey had to be in a much better place now.

"Hey Bree," Chloe said, as she choked back a sob, "So today's your two year anniversary. I still really miss you, you know. I know that you wanted me to be happy and all, and swear that I'm trying. But you were my best friend. Aubrey, I loved you like a sister! For a while during freshman year, I had a crush on you even. But you knew that. That was a funny story though. You're face when I drunkenly told you that 'you were the most beautifulest person ever and that I really loveded you' was absolutely priceless. I think that you were more shocked with my awful grammar though than my confession of undying love."

Here, Chloe laughed and opened the bottle of wine she'd brought with her. Once a week, Chloe would come up to this rooftop and just talk to the sky. Talk to Aubrey. When Aubrey was alive, Chloe was able to tell Aubrey anything and everything, and then Aubrey would offer Chloe some advice that usually was right and fixed whatever problem Chloe had at the time. However, Aubrey was gone now, and this would have to do. Pouring a glass, Chloe lifted it up to the sky.

"Cheers Bree," Chloe said taking a sip, "You know. I really wish that you were here right now. I got back from France the other day, I finally went to Paris, just like I told you I wanted to, all those years ago. I actually can't believe that you remembered that. I can hear you now though. What would you say... 'of course I remember Chloe! For serious, what kind of a friend would you take me for?' I'd take you for the best friend a person could ever ask for Aubrey. You were absolutely perfect, and I hate that anyone ever made you feel like anything less than that."

Taking another sip of her wine, Chloe sighed. That wasn't why she came up here. This was a celebration of Aubrey's life. Not some pity party. Draining her glass, Chloe started speaking once more.

"You know, when I went to Paris, it really was everything you said it would be. All the little shops and streets were beautiful. The food was great. For the most part at least. Apparently, the French people have a shit ton of cheeses and not all of them are good. And the portion sizes are really small to Aubrey. Like seriously, I eventually just started ordering two meals every time I went out, which made the people look at me weird. I think that if I had spoken french, I'd have heard the waiters calling me a fat American, but whatevs. A bunch of stupid french waiters wasn't my biggest concern. You were actually. The whole time I was there, I thought about how much I wished that you were there. You'd have known all the frenchy shit to do. And I could totally see you reaming out a waiter in French for being an ass. Sometimes I wish that I could speak six languages like you could. But then I think about how much work goes into learning one, and then I think ehh... Just speaking English is fine by me."

Here, Chloe laughed. She could almost see Aubrey sitting next to her, slapping her playfully and scolding her for her lack of academic motivation. Which brought her back to the shitty reality she had to live. With a sigh, Chloe looked out across the city.

"I know you never liked Beca, but as an update, she's been voted the hottest woman on earth now. I saw that article at some stand, but I don't need some stupid magazine to tell me that, though there are plenty out there. She's all over the news now Bree. She's out in LA, living her dream. According to the magazines, she's quite the womanizer now too. A real heart breaker, if the magazines are telling the truth. She's not the same shy, reserved Beca she was when I first met her. I saw an interview with her one day. She was such a cocky, arrogant, little bitch! She was insulting the interviewer, shamelessly flirting with audience members, and promoting her music all in the same breath. However, wanna know something funny? I think it was all just an act. Maybe I'm wrong, and fame really did change her, but I think that Beca's just being Beca. She's got a new set of walls, and now, instead of being withdrawn and hiding in the shadows, she's embracing the light, and blinding everyone to the truth. I dunno. I know you never liked Beca, but I loved her once upon a time, so I can't help that I talk about her. I still do love her really, and I can't help myself but to scan all of those trashy magazines for her name, or to watch the news for some mention of her exploits. I wonder if she ever thinks of me anymore?"

Draining her glass once more, Chloe set the glass down, and corked the bottle. She could sit out here all night, and sometimes she did, but what was the point? Aubrey was gone. Baylie was gone. Beca was gone. Everyone was gone. Chloe laughed mirthlessly. Funny, was this how Beca use to feel about life?

Suddenly, Beca's behavior made a lot more sense now. Before, Chloe never could really understand Beca's withdrawn and guarded nature, but now, now that she's had a small taste of what Beca's life was like, Chloe was beginning to get it. Whenever someone close to you leaves, it rips up your soul a little bit. Ever since Aubrey's suicide, Chloe had stopped letting everyone in. Sure she wasn't grumpy, overly sarcastic, or anything like that, but she finally got Beca's reluctance to let people in. Beca had everyone she loved, everyone she cared for leave, before she'd met Chloe.

And then Chloe had to be Chloe, and smash through all of Beca's walls. She had to make Beca feel loved, make her see the light, make her feel comfortable and tell her a bunch of false promises of forever. Now, the sheer betrayal of her leaving finally hit Chloe six year too late. Finally, everything that had happened made sense now.

That day at the airport, Chloe was almost positive that if she could reach Beca in time, they could fix their relationship. They could become Beca and Chloe again, and live happily every after. She thought that if Beca could just see that Chloe really did want a second chance, that they'd be able to fix everything. Unfortunately, she'd misjudged the sheer magnitude of her betrayal. At the time, she couldn't comprehend anything that could have come between them. She didn't understand that something could hurt so badly that it would make Beca give up. However, now that Chloe had a small taste of Beca's pain, now that she had an inkling of what leaving could do, she finally understood what had happened that fateful day.

Simply her going to the airport was not enough for Beca. It probably made things worse actually. If she'd really wanted a second chance, she should have caught the next plane to LA and found Beca. She should have made Beca see that she was serious, that she really did want a second chance. Maybe then she would have had a chance. Maybe then, she wouldn't be sitting on a roof, regretting how things ended. Should have, could have, would have, but no amount of wishing could ever change the past. All that was left was to simply persevere and to try and live her life. Day by day, battle by battle was the name of the game anymore.

As she was about to leave, Chloe glanced back at the roof one last time. There, sitting in the middle of the roof was her wine bottle. She always left it there, on its side, pointing in the direction of LA. To where her heart was, her soul mate, her Beca.

Though she certainly had the funds to go to LA (Aubrey had left her rather well off) she never did and never could. Why should she though? She had her chance with Beca six years ago, and she blew it. Now, Beca was happy and it wouldn't be right for her to go there and fuck Beca's life up. Beca had moved on, and it was time for her to as well. She doubted that she'd ever totally rid herself of the regrets, but she so long as Beca was happy, Chloe could be content. She doubted that she'd ever really be happy again, but maybe, she'd be able to alright. Someday.

Closing the door to the roof, Chloe walked back to her little apartment, still thinking of what could have been.

* * *

**Alright bitches. That was it! Shattered is now officially done. And I swear to the aca-gods, if you all decide to make me write a sequel, I'll fucking scream. THIS WAS A GODDAMN ONE SHOT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!**

**Anyway, I'm done now. So if you feel the need to scream at your computer, curse Beca and Chloe, have fun with that. Like I said, Shattered is done... But Aubrey's story is not if you want. Look at the A/N of the happy version for details.  
**

**If you read the happy version, you should realize that I didn't mention her. That was completely intentional. Simply assume that she continued on her path of self destruction, but hid everything well. Trust me, hiding that shit is far easier then you would believe. I speak from experience here. I cut for 3 years, and no one ever knew. And I was 12 when I started. I'm not saying this for pity, because God, if someone give me shit about it, I'll fucking scream, but as a fact. I'm clean now, but the point is, its so easy to pretend to be happy, to fool those around you. So, as a lesson from all this, look closer at those you think you know. Sometimes, a second look can save a life.  
**

**Guys, though this was originally suppose to be a meaningless one shot, its turned into so much more for me, and hopefully you too. Everything I wrote was highly intentional. Every death, every scene. Also every character. Every single character was based off of someone I knew. Though the events were fictitious, the characters, movie people, everyone had a real life person based off of them, and some of the events were actually rooted in reality. **

**Beca was actually based off of a good friend of mine. Her father left her and her mother on her seventh birthday. Like On her birthday. He walked out 'to get something', got into his car, and then just left. To this day, more then nine years later, she still hasn't heard anything from him. The only reason the two of us even became friends was because we were both put at the same table in second grade, and eventually we found some common ground. God Bless Pokemon. But anyway, it took her years to actually trust me. She was only 7, and already, she trusted no one. Still doesn't. Only myself and a couple of other good friends does she ever talk to.  
**

**Chloe was based off of a friends sister. She had been date raped a few years back. She didn't actually get pregnant though, thank God. However, she had absolutely no recollection of the event, and the only sign that anything had even happened were the bloody sheets and a couple of bruises. After three years of struggling with depression, she finally ended her life. **

**Aubrey was based on me. I was a perfectionist, though both my parents were very kind and nuturing. I always wanted to be the best at everything, and when I couldn't, I took that personally. Eventually all the pressure I put on myself lead me down a dark road. I'm not suicidal anymore, but once upon a time, I thought suicide was a very real option for me. J, if your reading this, thank you so much for everything.  
**

**Warren was based off my uncle. He'd been a shit father to my cousin for years. He traveled for his job, though he made no attempt to actually talk or spend time with his son. Until one day, life slapped him in the face, and he realized there was more to life then him. Eighteen years too late, he's trying to patch up a relationship far to broken to be mended. He's not really dead though.  
**

** And even Baylie was based off of someone. My poor baby cousin. She died from cancer at the ripe old age of three. She was an absolutely brilliant kid, even when she sickness slowly sucked the life out of her. When she was to crippled to really move, she'd ask me to tell her stories of princesses, of knights, and of good conquering evil. She could have changed the world, I have no doubt about it.  
**

**So, real sob stories eh? But that's not the point, will never be the point. The point is that maybe one of the couple hundred of you who read this will maybe take something away from this. Maybe one of you will realize that one action can have so many more unforeseen ramifications; that maybe that one person you thought you knew you really don't. Maybe this will make you want to look a little harder for the truth when someone flashes a fake smile and says their fine. If even one of you take something away from this, then I know that all the hours I've poured into this were for a good cause. Also, final thing, this isn't in the happy version for obvious reasons. I figure if you can read this chapter, you can stand to know a bit of harsh reality.**

**Now, enough sad shit. (Damn I sound bipolar.) An Option G for all of you. I can write a Staubrey fic, set a year after the end of this fic's theatrical ending. Right now, Option C seems to be what everyone wants, and I totes can do that. I have the whole thing sketched out and all, but I can to the Staubrey if you wanted :)**

**Also, I swear, not all of my fic are this deep. This one just kinda spiraled out of control. The problems that arose, and just each character fit in with people, and I just started to base the characters off of real people.**

**Now, I'm done with this final ridiculously long A/N. On to you guys now. (BTW, responses are the same in both endings)  
**

**Rizzlesmylies: Aww! Thank yooooooou! Please tell me you didn't break your phone though. I was serious about being a poor student. I really don't have the money to replace it if you did. lol, though in all seriousness, You're review made my day :) And you most certainly aren't creepy! Unless you actually find out where I live. In that case, CREEPER! But anyways, I'm glad I have good timing XD Happy super belated B-day to you mate! You're officially an adult yet you waste your time reading my shitty ass writing! :)**

**Mustafa09: First, awesome pic. Second. I don't know. I've only seen Red 2 once, so I'll have to see about that. Your idea's on the pile now though!**

**Zippy Zoe: I mention an option F because I'm a teenage girl who hasn't even graduated from high school. How the fuck am I suppose to know if I write well or not? And hey Warren was Warren. You opinion on him is whatever you make it to be! I never even meant to cast him in a certain light, other then a concerned father desperately trying for redemption. And the fun ain't over yet baby! I have other fics to write, and it would be awesome if you read them... Just saying. XD AND WHAT MOTHER FUCKERS! I WROTE TWO ENDINGS! WHO FUCKING ELSE CAN SAY THEY'VE DONE THAT!  
**

**Guest: Eh... No worries mate! That's just who i am! :)**

**Other Guest: Meanie! Imma go cry now! :'( Option F was for serious! And a G!P... I dunno. I'd def need someone to help me with that if I decided to try that route.**

**yoli008: That's my attitude all the time mate! And Zombies are awesome. I should just find a way to write them into everything XD**

**cxcxcx386: My dear, I really have to thank you so much for everything. You've been an awesome friend, a loyal supporter, and an excellent reviewer. Truly, words cannot describe how awesome you really are :) I actually wasn't trying to write a sad PP2 though. I was trying to write a gut wrenching, semi realistic, thought provoking fic. Did I succeed? I can def see the similarities now that you mention it. Damn, my subconsious is a sly little bastard. When I wrote each scene, i was trying to see if I could find some symbolic meaning in some shit. Guess that made it look like a shitty angst filled sequel. Oops!  
**

**Msweeny1997: I wasn't actually trying to kill you. You'd know if I was. Actually, no you wouldn't, cuz you'd be dead... But anyways. Point being HA! I did both! If you one of those God damn saps who needs an unrealistic happy ending, then you've gotten one. Or, if you trust me, and you believe that you can face reality, I've also got you covered. Note of warning though, if even the idea of Bechloe being broken is upsetting, don't read the sad version. Its fucked up. Like seriously, it puts the rest of this fic to shame.**

**theskycat: Mate, I totes got you. But Bechloe? Again? eeeeeehh... I'd originally posted the original one shot because I'd felt bad that I had no Bechloe out there. I'm more of a Mitchsen/Chaubrey shipper really. But if Bechloe endds up being whats asked for the most, I might do it. Or I'll just say fuck you all I like Mitchsen, but you know how it is :)  
**

**chilie101: Pressure's on mate! Time's running out! 10! 9! 8! 7! Alright I'm done. That was mean XD**

**blurtopia: I appreciate your concern, truly, I do. I believe in integrity, so I won't lie, but have no fear. I'm over it :) Sticks and stone, ya know? And I do already have a counselor. She's a very nice old lady who knows what the fuck she's talking about and when to listen. I wish she was Anna Kendrick though. Sorry. Had to reference 50/50 there...**

**Guest: I dunno. Alpha/Beta shiz? Maybe. Its def a good idea though!**

**Guest: I really like your idea. Alas, the sad ending's been planned for a while now. And I fucking hate sequels. Ever see Jaws 2? Or the Matrix reloaded. That fucking gun should have been fired and then discarded. Chloe was originally suppose to die, but in the sad ending, I've found a much better fate for her. But don't read that if you don't think you can handle it. I'm serious too. My ending is ten times angstier then this whole fic combined.**

**Alphonseal: Alright mate! Your vote has been counted :)**

**Guest: I like your attitude. I don't fucking care either. I just need ideas XD**

**Whatizthiz: Thiz iz awesomeness at its finest. lol, I'm sorry. I had to just once XD I hope both endings were as good as you'd hoped! And I didn't name the end chapters. I gave them their songs, and then just distinguished them by which one they were. Also, on the sad version, I'm sorry! If you read the really long A/N at the end, you get it. But hey, no one was sacrificed. Just brutally killed off. And I know, lines that shouldn't have been crossed, but in real life, there are no lines. Shit happens, it hurts, it doesn't make any sense, and it just seems wrong. But that's life. And I strived to keep Shattered as realistic as possible. Except for the happy ending. That was just something I shit out because people demanded it.  
**

**Guest: I know! Isn't it hilarious though? And if that happened, then Karma's a bitch, Beca's a bitch, and the world is my bitch. Perfect logic. Too bad that didn't happen though ;)**

**To everyone else: Guys, this has been absolutely incredible. You suckers have stuck with me for over a month, dealing with my insane ramblings, me cruelly trying to make you cry, and having to deal with characters who actually pissed me off at times. However, despite that, despite 16 chapters (I'm not counting the AN) of shit, you all were incredible. I receive no words of hate, only encouragement. A few threats here and there, but hopefully all idle threats... You guys didn't mean any of that, did you? lol. But really, I love you all so much, and if I could, I'd thank each and everyone of you individualy. Unfortunately, I can't, but just know, I see every read. I read (sometimes more then once) every single review and PM. Really, it has been an honor writing this for you, and I can't wait to see you all again soon!**

**Also, please don't forget about option G. I know it wasn't listed in the original poll, but I didn't want any spoilers!**

**For those who love me: I also write _For the Love of a Daughter_. That little bitch still has a shit ton to go, and if you liked _Shattered_, you might like that. Just sayin :) I'm also co writing _The Future Holds many Surprises_ with Becky Astin Camp, my aca-awesome Beta, and y'all should check that out. LOAD is Mitchsen, and TFHMS is jaubrey (I know I know Bleh. But it really is a good fic.) Also, I helped the lovely Msweeny1997 with a fic called _All the Little Lights_. Its actually really good and you should check it out! So yeah. Check my Profile for other fics, and I hope to see you all again soon. And if not, then thank you all so much for your support. I'm still in awe of the incredible following I got from this. Like seriously, its unreal.**

**Peace out Mortals! :)**


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